EPL: In Memory of Ryan Giggs OBE, the Shame of Manchester United: 1973-2011

Dearly beloved here on Bleacher Report, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of a footballer's fidelity to his loved one. His name was Ryan Giggs, a midfielder from Cardiff who was seen as a true family man, a loyal husband and father of two children.

His fidelity died this week, after it was revealed that he had bedded a certain buxom beauty by the name of Imogen Thomas, of Big Brother fame. The last rites were read by the Rt. Hon. John Hemming after formally doing what millions of people known as tweeters did: out the lout.

Let it be known, dearly beloved, that in terms of his reputation, Mr. Giggs did not die in vain. He brings to his grave a legacy that is enviable by many, achieved by few.

Mr. Giggs has won a record 12 top division English league titles as a player, and only Manchester United player to have winner's medals from all 12 Premier League title wins.

He has the most Premier League appearances for a player, with 573, as well as the most Premier League assists.

He is the only player to have scored in all 19 Premier League campaigns since its inception and is the only player to have scored in eleven consecutive Champions League tournaments (1996-97 to 2006-07).

Mr. Giggs is the only Manchester United player to have scored in 15 different Champions League tournaments. He holds the record for the most goals by a British player in the Champions League/European Cup proper history, and 14th overall (not including preliminary rounds).

Mr. Giggs has the most appearances by a Manchester United player and is the first player to score 100 Premier League goals for the Red Devils.

He is the second midfielder to have scored 100 goals in the Premier League for a single club (first being Matt Le Tissier), and is one of four Manchester United players to win two Champions League medals (others are Paul Scholes, Gary Neville and Wes Brown).

Finally, Ryan Giggs is the oldest (37 years, 148 days) player to score in the UEFA Champions League, when he scored against Schalke 04 on 26 April 2011 in the semifinals.

Oh, and did we mention that in 2007, he earned Order of the British Empire honours for his services to football?

Never mind that as a member of his club he earned 12 Premier League crowns, four FA Cups, four Football League Cups, eight FA Community Shields, two UEFA Champions League crowns going on three, a UEFA Super Cup, an Intercontinental Cup and a FIFA Club World Cup, as well as numerous other individual awards and endorsements throughout his long and storied career, which dates back to 1990.

That is a legacy that no one—not even the steamy, not-safe-for-work flings with Imogen—can take away. It bends but doesn't break.

The point I make here is that all people are human. Not everyone is a Gary Lineker, a.k.a. a person who has never been cautioned or sent off. People do make mistakes. An accomplished footballer like Ryan Giggs, a man in the twilight of his career is no exception to this rule.

Meanwhile the media have done their job in sensationalizing scandals such as these to the point of it becoming worth a read and gasp. Slaps on the back around, as well as a few high-fives, you dashing members of the press.

So in conclusion, while we send Ryan Giggs' fidelity to his wife, the former Stacey Cooke, onward to its final resting place, I would like to personally thank Ms. Thomas for being proof that even family men have a sinfully naughty side to themselves. I fancy a second marriage is in the works.

Such is that beast we call human nature. Go in peace, readers. Amen.

Join Jo-Ryan Salazar on May 28 for a live blog of the 2011 UEFA Champions League Final between Manchester United and FC Barcelona from Wembley Stadium on Bleacher Report. The live blog kicks off at 8:30 a.m. PT/11:30 a.m. ET/4:30 p.m. PT.