Steve Spurrier: Bleacher Report's Weekly Head Coach Caption
Ah, the ol' ball coach, the visor, the head Gamecock—he is a man of many names. This man is none other than Steve Spurrier.
He's had a long and storied career, and he is about to add his most illustrious achievement yet to his accolades: being the subject of our weekly caption contest.
That's right boys and girls, we have various slides of Mr. Spurrier in which we will attempt to decipher exactly what he is thinking and/or saying.
As you can tell from this picture, he is obviously a man of many thoughts.
We'll have more on this picture later. Now let's get this party started.
That-a-Way
1 of 14
"Oh that coach that called you a blind, moron who wouldn't know a penalty if it bit him on the eyeball? Yeah, he went that way."
Spurrier has always had a hate/hate relationship with the refs.
Waiving the Challenge Flag
2 of 14
"I challenge this! My offense is not working in the NFL!"
No Steve Spurrier, the NFL challenges you.
This Does Not Add Up
3 of 14
"Really? $1,200 dollars to Ill-lust-rious entertainment? I can't sign off on this? The NCAA is going to have a field day with this. ...Where'd you say this place is?"
Steve's stodginess in his adherence to the recruiting rules has cost him a blue chipper or two in his career.
.jpg?w=256 "Ohio State Team Doctor")
Four Eyes
4 of 14
"Yup, these refs still suck with my glasses on."
He looks more diplomatic in specs doesn't he?
Gun Show
5 of 14
"1,257,412...1,257,413. Oh hey, I didn't notice there were people in here taking pictures. I hope these guns didn't frighten you."
I am assuming/hoping those arms are photo shopped. The sweet Olivia Newton-John headband looks real though.
Meeting of the Minds
6 of 14
"I gotta tell you Jon, the tucked in shirt to the sweats makes you look like a total dweeb. We are football coaches! We have fashion standards to uphold! Look at me! I am like a coaching Adonis! You aren't even wearing your visor today."
In ten years those pants are going to be firmly under Jon Gruden's nipples.
Party Time
7 of 14
"Have you guys hear the new Clapton? Man that guy rips it up. He's all like..."
Little Known Fact: Steve Spurrier has more trophies from air guitar competitions than football.
Watchful Eyes
8 of 14
"I kinda feel like this creepy dude is staring at me."
I sympathize with Steve here. I'd be creeped out if President Logan from 24 was staring at me too.
Steve-O
9 of 14
"They don't call me ol' ball coach for nothin'. ...Yup, she gets a scholarship."
Steve may be a stickler for recruiting rules, but as you see he has found a way to circumvent them.
Gracious Winner
10 of 14
"Yeah, that's great coach who just lost. Here, I'll touch you so you can feel my awesomeness. Where'd those cheerleaders go?"
He's so cute when he wins.
Colorful Rant
11 of 14
"Then when my hand is inserted, I am going to open it up and grab your tonsils."
In this slide we have Spurrier engaging in more playful banter with the refs.
Fore!
12 of 14
"You know what I hate about golf? You can't blame the refs when you suck. I may quit this sport. The shirts are pretty sweet though. Yeah the shirts are really sweet—I better keep playing."
Spurrier loves any sport where he can wear his visor.
Shirts Are for Sissies
13 of 14
"I surrender. You got me. I do not have a license for these guns."
This was just about a year prior to the shirtless Daytona pic that headlines our slide show. A lot can change in a year.
Rubbing's Racing
14 of 14
"I can't believe I am stuck with these losers. Nice formal attire losers! Can I get you a wine glass? It's hard to be so hip. God I hope no one takes my picture with these dorks."
And this is what happens when you stop working out.
.jpg?w=480 "Ohio State Team Doctor")
