Big Ten Division Names: Should Pac-12 Reconsider Its Alignment?
In a move of utter class and humility, Big Ten commissioner Jim Delaney today revealed the new logo for the now-12-team league along with the names of its two divisions.
The greatest conference in the history of sport will now have grandiose division names to match its distinguished institutions. Those divisions are the "Legends", which include Iowa, Michigan, Michigan State, Minnesota, Nebraska and Northwestern; and the "Leaders", which encompasses Ohio State, Illinois, Indiana, Penn State, Purdue and Wisconsin.
When asked how he and his collection of linguistic virtuosos conjured up such perfectly descriptive titles, Delaney explaind, "The Legends, not too hard in that we have 215 college football Hall of Fame members, we have 15 Heisman Trophy winners...We thought it made perfect sense to recognize the iconic and the legendary through the naming of the division in that regard."
Regarding the other division, Delaney pontificated, "We’ve had plenty of leaders in the conference, that’s for sure, but the emphasis here is to recognize the mission of using intercollegiate athletics and higher education to build future leaders.”
In other words, the Legends are awesome. The Leaders...eh...they do good things, too.
Meanwhile, fans out west can only sit and wonder what could have been in the Pac-12 and whether commissioner Larry Scott jumped the gun by splitting the conference into "North" and "South" divisions.
No, not because there's anything particularly wrong with how the teams are aligned (though some would beg to differ).
Rather, couldn't Scott and his buddies at Pac-12 headquarters have come up with something more creative?
In that spirit, here are some suggestions that the folks in Walnut Creek should take into consideration.
Hippies Vs. Preps
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The most natural reaction of most old-time college football establishment people is that the Pac-12 is filled with hippie-dippie kids at schools like Berkeley and Washington State.
However, it's also quite easy to forget about all the preppy kids at USC and Stanford.
Dividing up the conference between Sperry Topsiders and tie-dye T-shirts would work perfectly with the 12 teams now involved.
Thus, the Pac-12 could be divided into Hippies vs. Preps as follows:
Hippies: Cal, Washington State, Colorado, Arizona State, Oregon, Oregon State
Preps: USC, Stanford, Utah, UCLA, Arizona, Washington
Surfers Vs. Skaters
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The West Coast is also well-known for its extreme sports counterculture, highlighted by surfing and skateboarding.
With that in mind, the Pac-12 could divy up its teams geographically, with those teams closest to the Pacific Ocean as "Surfers" and those farther inland as "Skaters".
The lineup would look something like this:
Surfers: UCLA, USC, Cal, Stanford, Washington, Oregon
Skaters: Oregon State, Washington State, Arizona, Arizona State, Utah, Colorado
Bros and dudes, unite!
Blues Vs. Reds
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The Pac-12 could also very easily be divided up by school colors.
Those who remember the color wheel from their elementary school days will instantly recognize that just about every pair of teams in the new conference sports one with bluer colors and one with red-infused hues.
A Pac-12 divided up as Reds vs. Blues would look something like this:
Reds: USC, Stanford, Oregon State, Arizona State, Washington State, Utah
Blues: UCLA, Cal, Oregon, Arizona, Washington, Colorado.
Let the color wars begin!
.jpg?w=256 "Ohio State Team Doctor")
Barbarians Vs. Librarians
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As in every conference, the Pac-12 has its fair share of schools known for their academics along with other institutions that...errr...how do I put this politely?
Institutions that are more inclined toward extracurricular activities.
So why not create divisions based around that distinction, and give the groups creative names, like Barbarians and Librarians?
Here's how such an alignment would shake out:
Barbarians: Arizona, Arizona State, Oregon State, Washington State, Colorado, Oregon
Librarians: UCLA, USC, Cal, Stanford, Washington, Utah
Subsequently, the Pac-12 could title its championship game "The Battle of Brains vs. Brawn."
Haves Vs. Have-Nots
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Some schools in the Pac-12 have sparkling facilities and mega-million-dollar endowments.
Others are state-supported and struggling under the pressure of budget cuts and angry student populations.
Essentially, the Pac-12 has its Haves and its Have-Nots, so why not make that distinction in conference athletics as well?
Haves: USC, Stanford
Have-Nots: UCLA, Cal, Oregon, Oregon State, Washington, Washington State, Utah, Colorado, Arizona, Arizona State
Nothing like a little bit of class warfare in intercollegiate athletics!
Pac-10 Vs. Newcomers
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Frankly, it has to be tough for the old-school Pac-10 teams to let Utah and Colorado join the party.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to temporarily keep the Utes and the Buffs on the outside looking in, until they've earned the right to be part of the Pac-12.
You know, like hazing.
Pac-10: everyone currently in the Pac-10
Newcomers: Utah, Colorado
Paddling is optional.
.jpg?w=480 "Ohio State Team Doctor")
.jpg?w=600 "Colts Release Kenny Moore")
