Pity the Financial Troubles of NFL and NBA Star Athletes

ESPN radio had a piece asking the question, “Why do so many multi-millionaire NFL and NBA players seem to live paycheck-to-paycheck and end up broke?”  Good question, right?  The answer, from a former NFL all-pro was this, with not a second of hesitation:

1. Baby Mommas
2. Posse
3. Family

Baby Mommas.  The sincere complaint of this ex-jock commentator was that the judge in say, Mississippi, when awarding child support for the athlete’s bastard in Mississippi, is unfeeling about the 23 other bastards he has to support in 23 other states.  All the judge cares about is this bastard in his state of Mississippi.  So if the athlete makes $5M a year, the child gets a percentage of that, and the judge doesn’t take into account all the other rulings for child support in all the other states the athlete has already been saddled with (after saddling some girl).  This is a great hardship that is too little understood by most of the common, little people in America. It’s also a big reason that Kobe Bryant faced rape charges: it wasn’t that the girl didn’t want sex with Kobe, it’s she didn’t want the kind of sex that doesn’t create little bastards (more to the point, more Baby Momma’s and additional child support requirements) all over the place, so you see, he was actually showing genuine concern and trying to do the right thing.  Right?

Posse.  Most insignificant, ordinary people underestimate both the importance, and cost, of a decent posse.  You don’t want dead beats or slobs with cheap suits, bad haircuts, or no bling hanging around you, obviously.  They have to look the part of an attaché to a really important celebrity.  So they have expensive tastes, and there are many expensive demands on them to satisfy the athlete’s basic needs.  You can’t simply drive them around in Hummer limo’s on Saturday night and think your work is done.  They are creating an atmosphere and a reputation, an aura, if you will, for you, the athlete.  This is not a part-time job.  The ones in particular that are scoring your trim and drugs may need their personal Lamborghini to get them to and fro in attending to their duties to you.  And if times get tough, that’s the time to amp up the parties, not tone down.  People generally just seem to have no idea how complicated an operation this is, and for the most part, seem not to even care, let alone sympathize.

Family.   These, as it turns out, are basically leaches, trying to suck you dry.  There is no end to their demands, and they come out of the woodwork.  You need a couple posse members just to deal with Family, lest you be stuck having to waste time talking to them yourself. 

When you consider all the troubles these athletes are faced with, it’s amazing some of them aren’t prima-donnas and divas.  That you can get an autograph for as little as $50 and can get paid $5000 to dismiss an assault charge you filed against a cornerback or shooting guard for a pistol whipping is really remarkable.  If you only gave more thought to their circumstances, instead of thinking about yourself all the time, you’d realize you owe them a lot more than they are getting from what, your measly $2000 season tickets?

A funny part in the discussion was the ex-NFL player, speaking on the topic of Baby Momma’s, really passionate about the dilemma, said, “You know, you might be in the Tri-State area - Mississippi, Tennessee, Oklahoma - and have a dozen babies there that you’re already taking care of.”  Other commentator, “I wasn’t aware of that Tri-State area.”  Ex jock:  “It’s true!”