Imagine All The People

Joseph ManuelContributor INovember 23, 2009

CORVALIS, OR - NOVEMBER 23:  Charles Favroth #11 of the University of Oregon Ducks attempts to tackle Shawn Jackson #34 of the Oregon State University Beavers during the 'Civil War' game at Reser Stadium on November 23, 2003 in Corvalis, Oregon. Oregon State won 45-24.  (Photo by Jon Ferrey/Getty Images)
Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images

Imagine being a failure.

No, hold it, that’s too broad.

Imagine regretting a major life decision.


Imagine going into a big decision thinking that it will pan out for the better.

Imagine getting asked to go to a certain place among many, and finally picking the one that you think will turn out to be the better scenario for yourself.

Imagine that you go to this place that you think is great at first; you learn to grow up, you’re advancing your life (or so you thought), you’re meeting a lot of cool new people (or so you thought), and you’ll have a terrific plan once the whole procedure is finished. Sounds ideal, initially.

Imagine being jealous.

Wait, hold up.

Imagine admiring something instead. Your admiration is the result of constantly being bested. Your admiration is for a huge event which tore so many people apart.

Now imagine that this event has just occurred. And imagine that the result was not favorable to your likeness. Imagine being mad at first, then placing blame, then being mad again, then cursing everything in sight, and then finally accepting that you just were not good enough.

Imagine leaving the event, tears in your eyes. Two kinds of emotion eschew from the whole situation: joyous celebratory gestures and tear-soaked sadness culminating in bowed heads and quiet, shuffling feet.

And imagine your emotion being the latter.

Now imagine getting in your mode of transportation, and going back to the place you once held so sacred. Imagine the trip, and thinking the whole time that you wished you did not belong to this place, and that you have so much regret.

Imagine the long, quiet ride.

Imagine reaching your destination, going home, and thinking about the event the whole time. Imagine replaying everything in your mind, and wishing that you did something a little different that would have changed the whole outcome.

Imagine your phone being flooded with calls and text messages of many varieties. Some are encouraging, some are mean, and some are just repetitive.

You don’t care about this at the moment, because you’re still in heartbreak mode.

Imagine finally being able to rest. As you sit down, your whole body is completely aching, and the fact that the event did not turn out favorable to you only compounds your physical pain.

Imagine thinking about how many opportunities have just been lost based on this event. Imagine one side going completely up, and the other side going completely down.

Imagine once being so close to going to a warm weather city during the dead of winter doing what you love doing, and instead not knowing where you are headed yet during this aforementioned cold, chilly season.

Imagine dreading the next day. Imagine getting yelled at mercilessly. Imagine more physical pain being dealt to your already aching body.

Now imagine weeks going by. The sting still glaring, never leaving your mind. Imagine that the big day comes in which you thought you would be doing something meaningful, and instead you are sitting on a couch watching the television and admiring the people you see on it.

Imagine watching those that bested you during your darkest hour on the television, and not sure if you want them to succeed or fail. All you know is that you could have been there.

Now imagine watching this television for approximately four hours, and constantly seeing a flood of green and yellow besting a flood of red and silver.

Imagine pitying those in red and silver, because you can feel their pain.

Now imagine wishing that you had chosen to wear the green and yellow instead of black and orange. Imagine the limitless possibilities that could have resulted in your decision.

Imagine heaving a sigh of disappointment, and having to wait a full year to try and gain your revenge. And imagine not even circling the date on your calendar, because you know that you secretly don’t want it with the green and yellow.

Now imagine that you are a football player for Oregon State University after Dec. 3, 2009.


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