Watch Lakers' Dwight Howard Discuss Purple Rolls Royce Inspired by Thanos

Timothy Rapp@@TRappaRTFeatured ColumnistSeptember 11, 2019

Washington Wizards center Dwight Howard reacts from the bench during the second half of an NBA basketball game against the New York Knicks, Sunday, April 7, 2019, at Madison Square Garden in New York. The Knicks won 113-110. (AP Photo/Mary Altaffer)
Mary Altaffer/Associated Press

Dwight Howard definitely didn't understand the Avengers movies.  

The Los Angeles Lakers center appeared on In Depth with Graham Bensinger and said he bought a purple Rolls Royce because Thanos—the villain of the Avengers movies—was his favorite character.

And then he kept going.

"He was able to understand that in order for him to complete his mission, he had to get rid of his emotions," Howard said. "And that's the hardest thing that we all face."

No, Dwight. That is not the hardest thing we all face. That's not even remotely close to being true.

See, Thanos' mission—and we're about to get into SPOILER TERRITORY here, so fair warning—was to eliminate half of all life in some dim-witted belief that it would restore balance to the universe. So Thanos literally committed genocide and turned adorable Peter Parker, among others, into dust. 

For some reason, Howard decided he had to respect that hustle.

And listen: He really loves Thanos. Like, really, really loves him. Absolutely loves him:

Fair Game @FairGameonFS1

.@DwightHoward loves Thanos so much that he bought a purple car! 🤣 Howard shares with @KristineLeahy the story of how he met Josh Brolin, the actor who played Thanos in @Avengers: https://t.co/hlyirCbVRd

This is like watching 101 Dalmatians and thinking to yourself, "Damn, that Cruella de Vil had style, baby!" Or watching Star Wars and thinking to yourself, "These pesky rebels just don't respect the rule of law. Thank goodness Darth is cracking down!"

It's all just too much. If you're reading this, just put down your screen and go hug a loved one, because at any given moment, Howard might snap his fingers and turn them to dust.