Marks out of 10: The PL story so far

This is the time of year I take stock of all the club football I've watched, and make some observations. What happens next is simple: I give each PL club a score based on its current league position, entertainment value, and general demeanor this season.

 After that, there are three special awards I give out to deserving clubs, based on all of the above, and the general feeling among football fans.

So, in alphabetical order:

1. Arsenal FC: A great start to the season, with cries of "Thierry who?" echoing around the emirates. Entertainment wise: hard to beat, it can make grown men cry to see Fabregas and Van Persie on form. Premier League Champions this year? Possibly, not as clear cut this year, the youngsters have the spirit, the talent, and the stamina...well then...the table never lies... Place: 1st

Score: 9/10

2. Aston Villa: Martin O'Neil is a Charismatic and hard-working man who has put together a squad that embodies these values. Shame about 4-4 away to Spurs, but overall good for the money. Place: 8th

Score: 6/10

3. Birmingham City: Not necessarily fantastically entertaining, nevertheless a great effort from a club not as well-endowed as the clubs around it – notably, Tottenham and Fulham are below the Bruce's Blues. Well deserved start to the season. Place: 13^th

Score: 6/10

4. Blackburn Rovers: Mark Hughes has never looked more comfortable than managing Blackburn, who have been surprisingly entertaining, with no less than three 2-1 wins out of three. Higher than most pundit's expectations, but for me, hard work equals places. Place: 6th

Score: 8/10

5. Bolton Wanderers: Oh dear. What can the matter be? Johnny's no longer...well, in this case, Big Sam's no longer around, and Little Sam is simply failing at the top level. It seems the curse of the first team coach strikes again: poor start to the season, and poor football too. Place: 19^th

Score: 1/10

6. Chelsea: Goodbye Mourinho, and for a while, it looked like bye bye to the Blue's title chances. They've picked up in recent matches, most of which is down to John Terry: a man so hard, you'd need to hit him with a tank to do any lasting damage. Entertaining? Off the field, certainly. Place: 7^th

Score: 7/10

7. Derby County: You have to feel for the Rams this year: they are the exact equivalent of Watford from last season. They have been beaten 4, 5 and 6-0 this season, but they still strive to cut the deficit. 1-0 defeat to Reading, closest match this season. Entertaining? Ask the Arsenal faithful...and the Spurs, Liverpool, ...!!! Place: 20^th

Score: 2/10 – on proviso that they must score an away goal at some point!!!

8. Everton: Disappointing is the word I've heard bandied about by pundits in regards to Everton, but for me, the team as a unit have worked well together, with only Johnson's lack of goals letting them down. Good start to the season, though Moyes will be looking to break into that top six again. Place: 10th

Score: 7/10

9. Fulham: Frankly, I'll be surprised to see Fulham break out of the bottom ten, but by no means write them off yet. I felt hiring Sanchez was a mistake, and it appears, despite what appears to be an improved squad on last season, Fulham are still lacking the real depth to be of any real threat to the away teams this year. Place: 18th

Score: 3/10

10. Liverpool: the halfway mark, and halfway ludicrous. Benitez has shot himself in the foot so early on in the season – Liverpool have players to spare, and strikers that are actually scoring goals (take a bow, Mr Torres), so...he rotates them. Why? We'd all like to know. Place: 4th

Score: 7/10

11. Manchester City: Simply superb start to the season – fact is, Sven remains a better club manager than an international manager, with a flair for the Premier League, it seems. Entertaining? Oh yes, a Manchester Derby in which the blues went home victorious – magical. Place: 3rd

Score: 8/10

12. Manchester United: Recently I wrote an article dismissing the claims that Manchester United are boring. Here I further emphasize that point: did you see Tevez's goal at the weekend? You did? Now you no longer have an argument. Place: 2nd

Score: 8/10

13. Middlesborough: What can you say about dreary Middlesborough? They've been on the right and wrong ends of the results, but nothing actually stands out about them. Oh wait, Southgate's nose does, but that's about it. Sorry Middlesborough fans: not entertaining enough, and not hard-working enough. Place: 15th

Score: 5/10

14. Newcastle United: Big Sam shows what he can do with a bunch of chronic underachievers – for me, best start they could have had, with the circumstances, but Owen does tend to make the team work...and when he's out...it's like taking the venom out of a Cobra. You get a belt. Place: 9th

Score: 6/10

15. Portsmouth: despite what appears to be bargain-basement defender buying (three out of the back four are from London clubs), Redknapp shows why he's simply been the best manager of Pompey for a very, very long time. Heavenly start to the season, and fun to watch as well. Place: 5th

Score: 8/10

16. Reading: Proving that Steve Sidwell is in fact surplus to their requirements will take some convincing, but Coppell has spent money well, and played some good, tactical football. Good start to the season for the hard-working Reading. Place: 12th

Score: 6/10

17. Sunderland: Roy Keane has proven he has the guts and the bite for the managerial lark: now his team must prove to him, and thus repay him, that they can keep themselves up this time. Not impossible, but they do have to work harder than most for their goals. Unlucky against Arsenal, showed real determination. Place: 16th

Score: 4/10

18. Tottenham Hotspur: The fans, players and manager have been amazing, given the circumstances. I cannot fathom what the Spurs board think they are doing: lest we forget, Martin Jol managed to get Spurs into 5^th place, two seasons running. To stab him in the back, week after week, since the start of the season, is nothing short of disgraceful. I have no doubt as to who I'd blame for the recent collapse in form – and I know exactly who I'd thank for turning it around. Not out of the woods yet, but Jol, Keane and Berbatov won't let it go down like this. Place: 17th

Score: -10/10 for the Club and its officials, 6/10 for Martin Jol and the Spurs Fans.

19. West Ham United: what more can be said? Have spent money carefully, but audaciously, Curbishley knows what he's doing, and it shows. West Ham are still playing the part of the pantomine villain, however. I half expect an Argentinian forward to pop up at the Boleyn ground next week on a free transfer. However, they have been reasonably entertaining, if frustrated when it doesn't all go their way. Place: 11th

Score: 5/10

20. Wigan Athletic: Hutchins has had a difficult job over the summer getting them ready for the fight, but for me, he never really had much to worry about. The team seems to have learnt the harsh lessons of the last few seasons, and I would say that they are likely to stay up. Don't quote me on it after Christmas, however!!! Place: 14th

Score: 4/10

AND NOW...

... for the Simon Martin PL awards....

The categories are: "Most Entertaining PL Club", "Most Hardworking PL Club", and the “Premier League Lemming” Award.

“Most Entertaining PL Club Award goes to”: ...Arsenal. It was a hard choice between the three top teams of the Gunners, United and City, but Arsenal edge it with THAT fabulous Adebayor hat-trick.

“Most Hardworking PL Club Award goes to”: ...Portsmouth, who have played above and beyond that expected of them, and generally been great fun to watch as well. No other team in the league, circumstances aside, for me, is as Hardworking as Redknapp's Pompey Heroes.

“The Premier League Lemming Award goes to”: ...Tottenham Hotspur's board of directors, for quite honestly being the most pathetic procrastinators and back-stabbers the Premier League has ever known. Back off the Jol, and let him get on with it. Honourable mention goes to Derby, with a 4,5 and 6-0 thrashing from Spurs, Arsenal and Liverpool in that order.

“Well, it's goodnight from me, enjoy the rest of the season everybody!!!”