Power Ranking Every Premier League Club Mascot
Dinosaurs. Hippopotami. Space aliens. Giant Hammers.
The Premier League offers a rich tapestry of mascots, but who boasts the greatest costumed creature with an underpaid struggling actor lurking inside it?
B/R is always keen to tackle the tough issues in the beautiful game, so we've ranked the Premier League's 20 mascots, offering points for originality, aesthetics and achievements.ย
Take a look and be sure to leave a commentโunless you are Herbie the Hammer. You are terrifying.
20. Changy the Elephant (Everton)
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Merseyside isn't famous for its elephant population, but Everton are currently fronted by Changy the Elephantโnamed for their Asian beer shirt sponsors.
Shilling your mascot for a sponsor? For shame, Everton!
19. Samson (Sunderland)
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With the kind of luck Sunderland are having this season, one can only presume the entire team crossed paths with their black cat mascot one too many times.ย
Samson is innocuous enough, but having a traditional symbol of bad luck paraded out before games doesn't seem like a fantastic plan.ย
18. Captain Canary (Norwich City)
3 of 20Not only does Norwich City's Captain Canary look bizarre, but he's barely mobile enough to slowly dribble the ball.ย
Someone needs to send him down the coal mine and bring back one of Norwich's brilliant mascots of old, such as the Aviva Lemur orโthe one that would top this list if it was still around todayโthe Norfolk Dumpling.
17. Mighty Red (Liverpool)
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Liverpool didn't have a mascot until 2012, when their American owners insisted they catch up with the times by introducing Mighty Red, which is a Liver Bird. Allegedly.ย
Mighty Red divided fans because of the perception that he was an unnecessary step in the direction of modern football, and also because he was a bit rubbish.ย
The club insisted he wouldn't be on the field before matches, and the fans were angry in 2014 when they reversed that decision.
16. Fred the Red (Manchester United)
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When a club decides its mascot should be a devil, they have an excellent opportunity to intimidate opponents and make small children cry.
Fred the Red, however, has a happy cuddly face, like a Care Bear that spent too long on the tanning bed. If the devils down below all look like Fred, then, to quote AC/DC, "Hell Ain't A Bad Place To Be."
15. Hercules and Bella (Aston Villa)
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The Premier League's second-best lion mascot is Hercules, who roams Villa Park with his arbitrarily named partner Bella.
(Perhaps she was added to the pride to make Hercules seem like more of a family man after the time the man in the suit was sacked for groping a beauty queen.)
Given that the mythical Hercules killed the Nemean Lion and wore its skin as a cloak and head as a hat, Villa's mascot does seem to be rather poorly named.
14. Cherry Bear (Bournemouth)
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With his sideways baseball cap, hanging tongue and eyes that are far too close together, Bournemouth's Cherry Bear doesn't give the impression of being smarter than the average bear.ย
However, the furry tub-thumper is a hit at Dean Court, having earned a two-year contract with the club last season. Because mascots have contracts now.
13. Sammy Saint (Southampton)
8 of 20Down at St. Mary's, Southampton fans are often treated to the physical comedy stylings of Sammy the Saint.ย
If you want to see a non-specific breed of dog with little relation to the club's history dance "Gangnam Style" like it's 2012, you know where to go!
12. Moonchester and Moonbeam (Manchester City)
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In the pre-petrodollar days, Manchester City's mascot was a slightly depressed Mancunian with a giant shadow cast over him*.
These days, the club are represented by Moonchester and Moonbeam, an alien couple who came down to earth to spread the gospel of City and hold upย insulting signsย about Sir Alex Ferguson.ย
*Probably.
11. Monty and Maggie the Magpies (Newcastle United)
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Magpies are attracted to shiny objects, which makes one wonder why Monty and Maggie have stuck around St James' Park so long, given the lack of silverware that has passed through.ย
Regardless, the Toon Army turn up through thick and thin, with younger members hoping for a high five from one of their winged friends.ย
10. Baggie Bird and Albi (West Bromwich Albion)
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There's also a "pair of birds" theme going on at the Hawthorns, where Baggie Bird and his accomplice Albi stoke up the atmosphere while trying to avoid the furious gaze of Saido Berahino.ย
Rumours spread last summer that the birds had flown the coop, but thankfully, they are still nesting in the Midlands.ย
9. Chirpy the Cockerel (Tottenham Hotspur)
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Tottenham Hotspur's crest has featured a cockerel since 1901, so it is fitting that their mascot is a big black... bird. ย
Chirpy used to be blue and white with a rather bloated face but was reimagined as a Woody Woodpecker-style character with a huge grin on his beak in 2013.ย
He's a good-looking chap who would look very dashing in your golf bag.ย
8. Harry the Hornet (Watford)
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One might expect a hornet to look a little more aggressive than Watford's mascot Harry, but then again, one might expect Watford to keep a manager for more than five minutes and that generally doesn't happen.ย
Regardless, Harry the Hornet deserves our respect. Not because he once actually married his partner Harriet on the field at Vicarage Road when Wolfie the Wolves mascot was his best man but because he broke a world record in the most recent London Marathon while raising ยฃ4,400 for charity.
7. Filbert Fox (Leicester City)
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Filbert Fox, named after Leicester's former home of Filbert Street, is the Crash Bandicoot lookalike who parades on the touchlines at the King Power Stadium.ย
He also has the mascot equivalent of a Taylor Swift #squad, as his strangely named friends Vickie Vixen and Cousin Dennis often join him for pre-match festivities.
6. Herbie the Hammer (West Ham United)
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West Ham United might have missed out on a commercial tie-in with the Iron Man movies, but they have an impressive mascot in Herbie the Hammer.ย
With his demonic yellow eyes, RoboCop build and hammer-shaped head, no amount of bubbles can stop this mascot from giving children nightmares.ย
He makes Julian Dicks looks pretty friendly by comparison.
5. Pottermus (Stoke City)
16 of 20Stoke City win points for originality, as it seems unlikely that any other club uses a hippopotamus as a mascot. They also win points for the excellent production values in the video above.ย
Pottermus has enjoyed several notable moments over the years, including the times when a linesman mistook him for a player and, bizarrely, when he came seventh in the player of the year votes.ย
4. Gunnersaurus (Arsenal)
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Legend has it that Gunnersaurus is so old that he can remember a time when Arsenal used to win league titles.ย
The club claim that the prehistoric mascot hatched from an egg discovered under the North Bank Terrace at Highbury after the stadium closed, but he was actually created by a fan who won a competition.ย
Not only is Gunnersaurus always up for the bantsโhe often has a T-shirt cannon at gamesโbut in January, he will be just like a new signing...ย
(Note: The fact that he is in fourth place in this list is entirely coincidental. Honestly.)
3. Stamford the Lion (Chelsea)
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A lover of all things Chelsea and a hater of Minnesota dentists, Stamford the Lion is a classic mascot.ย
Why does he have such a huge grin on his face? Maybe he's happy with Chelsea's recent title haul, maybe he gets a cut of the profits from his very own iPhone app. Not many other mascots can boast such technical advancement.ย
2. Cyril the Swan (Swansea City)
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Your mother told you never to go near a swan because it could break your arm. The same rule applies for Cyril the Swan, who is, as the Welsh say, a "bit tasty."
The feathered one has had touchline bans, fines and police warnings on numerous occasions. During a 2001 match with Millwall, he famously pulled off Zampa the Lion's head and dropkicked it into the crowd.ย
Much like Bafetimbi Gomis' wildcat goal celebration, Cyril is terrifying and spectacular.
1. Pete and Alice the Eagles (Crystal Palace)
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Pete the Eagle is a massive eagle that wears giant sunglasses. He tweets pictures of himself getting physio treatments and shacked up in bed with his possible-wife Alice the Eagle. He's actually a headmaster from Kent.ย
What's not to love?
Selhurst Park has developed from a nasty part of Croydon that no one really wants to visit to a football fortress in recent seasonsโsurely that has something to do with Pete, Alice and the actual real-life eagle that flies before games? Yeah, let's say it does.ย
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