B/R 5th Down: Jim Harbaugh Visits Paris, Wedding Pictures at Notre Dame Stadium

Editor's Note: The 5th Down captures the top social college football stories of the week. Because the long, grueling offseason is underway, we'll focus on things that make us laugh, think or maybe cry, but mostly laugh.

1) Ah, Jim Harbaugh! Allez Les Bleus! 

Looking back at The Office, there's no doubt that Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh would have been a member of the Finer Things Club. And unlike a certain other Jim, Harbaugh would have read Angela's Ashes from start to finish in a day, because he's like that. 

So a Harbaugh trip to Paris seems appropriate. "Such culture! A Le Big Mac!" he probably thought while riding a bicycle with a baguette (see lower right photo) in the front basket through the streets of one of the most beautiful cities in the world. (Yes, Harbaugh rides bikes in khakis, too, because greatness never takes a vacation.) 

Come to think of it, Harbaugh is so confident and probably already knows more about France than us that he decided it'd be a good laugh to act as a tour guide around the city. And you know what? It probably worked, too. 

2) A Traditional (Fighting) Irish Nuptial

Former Notre Dame offensive lineman Braxston Cave got married this past weekend. Some of the groomsmen were Cave's former Irish teammates. Naturally, the group had to get some action shots inside Notre Dame Stadium.  

While 5th Down is a public supporter of fall weddings—once again, get married whenever you please because it's your day—we're an even bigger supporter of weddings in and around stadiums. If you're going to combine your passions, what better way to do it? 

3) What...What is This? 

Look, I don't know what this is about or who did it, but now all I want is for LSU head coach Les Miles to coach a game in that suit. Also, can we get him to do some sweet Michael Jackson moves every time LSU scores a touchdown? Maybe a spin or a moonwalk or something?

You know he'd do it, too. You know he would. 

On a related note, if anyone is willing to make chalk art of coaches in music videos, please send them to us.

4) UPDATE: Urban Meyer Still Has Facial Hair and it's 70 Percent More Dad-Like

A month ago, 5th Down found an outstanding vintage photo of Ohio State head coach Urban Meyer rocking a pretty sassy mustache. Now, we have photographic evidence of Meyer sporting a goatee during vacation and, oh my goodness, that looks like every dad ever.

Bustedcoverage.com

Meyer's facial-hair game is strong. So strong, in fact, that we're wondering what's holding him back from really getting into it. Imagine Meyer on the sideline game with a dapper handlebar mustache. You can't lose with that thing. 

5) Let's Talk About Genetically Engineered Kickers

You've heard of #collegekickers. And if you haven't, well, it's basically THIS. 

These, these my friends, are the opposite of #collegekickers. Yes, they're kickers who are (or will be) in college, but we're also lacking any proof that they're 100 percent flesh and blood and not created in a lab. 

It all started last month when Alabama commit Eddy Pineiro sent a ball 73 yards through the uprights during a training session for Kornblue Kicking:

That led Baylor kicker Spencer Evans to attempt, and make, a 75-yarder:

Not to be outdone, Texas kicker Nick Rose—he of the greatest Flock of Seagulls/Bieber cross-cut ever—nailed an 80-yard field goal during a practice session:

These are ideal conditions, of course. There's no pressure and no need to adjust the height of the trajectory to overshoot defenders. It's pure distance and that's it. Still, these aren't kicks at which to scoff. Eighty yards is 80 yards. That's more than a kickoff. 

College football needs these types of kicking machines. While #collegekickers make the sport more interesting, they also make it more frustrating. Having a cyborg hit an 80-yarder would certainly boost the overall entertainment value of the game. 

But there's probably a rule about it deep in the NCAA rule book. Just a hunch. 

6) An Appreciation for Big Ol' Linemen

I don't know how many games Arkansas will win in 2015. Odds Shark has the Hogs as the longest shot (50/1) to win the SEC West. Regardless, the best thing about the Razorbacks is that they know exactly who they are. 

And they are a team on which everyone weighs like 300 pounds and wants to wrassle you in a phone booth. This is conveyed in Arkansas' 2015 media guide, which features beefy offensive linemen and only offensive linemen: 

This is a brilliant idea. The running back combo of Jonathan Williams and Alex Collins is as good as there is in the SEC, if not the country. Putting them on the media guide would have been an obvious choice. But those backs need a force of an O-line behind which to run, and that's what they get. 

O-linemen never, ever get the recognition they deserve. There are no real stats to put next to their names, and they'll never be considered Heisman-worthy. So by all means, Arkansas, put those linemen on the media guide for all to see. We need more appreciation for these brave sons of Fayetteville. 

(And more appreciation for big men dancing, as seen below.) 

7) This Has Nothing to Do with Football

I mean, OK, yeah, technically it's sort of related. Ohio State wide receiver Michael Thomas is a football player doing social media things, so it all overlaps, but let's be honest: The only thing that matters here is this water slide.   

Look at that thing. Where is that? Can I go? Are there unlimited turns? If I pay the water park $1,000, can I have the whole thing to myself for a day? I'd be willing, you know. There are smart investments and bad investments. This would probably be considered a bad investment since many wouldn't be able to justify dropping four figures (or more?) on entertainment with a limited shelf life.

Whatever. Doesn't matter. Doing it anyway because it's July.  

8) Finally, a Thumbs-Up for This Commitment Video

"

#WeAre pic.twitter.com/2E4gF87wpO

— Quinn Nordin (@QuinnNordin) July 10, 2015"

The commitment video for kicker Quinn Nordin has been going viral because, well, it's on the dramatic side.

Some might view this as over the top, but we say the more ridiculous it is, the better. Nordin is the top kicker recruit for 2016, according to 247Sports, and more scholarship offers could be on the way. That's incredible for a place-kicker. 

So, enjoy it all. Enjoy the recruiting process. Enjoy the video. Enjoy the moment. Most players won't have this type of opportunity again. 

Nordin will have to work hard once he gets into college, but he's already shown that he's willing to do that. He doesn't need to be quiet or humble about this. He's earned that much. 

Ben Kercheval is a lead college football writer for Bleacher Report. He's currently brushing up on his high school French on Twitter @BenKercheval.