Jacory Harris: The Coolest Dude In Doak

While his teammates’ dreadlocks bounced up and down in celebration all over Bobby Bowden Field after their 38-34 victory, Jacory Harris stoically stood on his sideline and seemed ready for another clutch touchdown drive. The Canes have many holes to fill before they can compete for a National Championship, but one of them isn’t quarterback.

Harris was brilliant Monday night by throwing for more yards against the Noles than any other UM quarterback with 386. He threw two touchdowns, but we learned more about him from his two interceptions. Unlike the dreadful Kyle Wright, Harris never got the deer-in-the-headlights look; nothing scared Harris.

Unlike the unlikable Robert Marve, Harris doesn’t have his own initials tattooed to his triceps. Harris never gloated after a touchdown or taunted anyone after the game.

And comparing Harris to Kirby Freeman would just be a waste of words and cyberspace.

Harris is simply that calm, cool and collected leader teammates will look to when they’re in a foxhole. No matter the jaw-dropping play or mistake, he assumed his comfortable position on one knee and waited for his defense to get the ball back.

Much like a tall, slender quarterback sans rocket arm who also burst on the national scene against Florida State, Harris is most reminiscent of the great Ken Dorsey. Only with Harris, he doesn’t have nearly the star-studded help.

We Miamians love to think we can fix things overnight. Fix our traffic by building bus lanes no one uses. Electronic voting booths to eliminate election debacles. Top rated recruiting classes to win a National Championship.

In the words of the incomparable Lee Corso, “Not so fast.”

While Harris played an outstanding game and the defense looked serviceable compared to last year, the coaching staff will eventually lose games for the Hurricanes.

Randy Shannon was calling timeouts like a basketball coach leaving his offense with no way to stop the clock in a hurry-up situation just like he did against Cal in the Emerald Bowl last season.

For some reason, Cooper touched the ball 15 times. That’s including receptions, carries, kick returns and punt returns. This guy is the most electric football player on both teams and the plodding Javarris James gets 11 carries with a 3.3 yards per carry average?

Cooper needs the ball thrown to him, handed to him and kicked to him. He should be lining up in Wildcat formations, spread formations, and wishbone formations. He should be the offense. He needs 30 touches per game. Let’s do it, Shannon. Let’s make it happen. Let’s get this guy a Heisman.

The Canes’ victory was not only impressive because it happened in Tallahassee or because the Seminoles were ranked and the Canes weren’t. No, the win was impressive because the Canes managed to overcome Shannon’s need to squib or pooch kick the kickoffs.

He wants to avoid the lengthy kickoff return, but giving the opposition the ball at midfield is the equivalent of a lengthy return. If you feel your special teams unit cannot avoid a kickoff return for a touchdown, then you didn’t coach them adequately.

Returns for touchdowns are extremely rare. In fact, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers recorded their first ever touchdown return in 2007 after 32 seasons and 1,865 attempts. Squib or pooch kicking is a lot like never leaving the house for the grocery store because you might die in a car accident. Remaining in your house will save you from a car wreck, but you will starve eventually. Live a little, Shannon.

But despite Shannon’s penchant for wasting timeouts or giving FSU the ball at midfield, the Canes won and that’s all because they were led by perhaps the physically slightest player who happens to have the largest heart and some other male organs equated with fortitude.

Thank you, Jacory Harris. Now, beat all the other teams on this schedule and win us a National Championship.