Milwaukee Brewers Ban High-Fives Due to Rampant Pinkeye

Much like the zombie outbreak that will inevitably consume the globe and drive humanity onto floating colonies at sea, the spread of pinkeye can only be slowed by containment.

You isolate the infected, protect the healthy and remain vigilant for any signs of the disease spreading in the community or its pillows (NSFW language).

The Milwaukee Brewers are facing a pinkeye outbreak of their own, and according to The Associated Press (h/t ESPN), the team is employing preventative measures to fight the epidemic.

After watching catcher Jonathan Lucroy and pitching coach Rick Kranitz succumb to red, watery eyes, the team will reportedly initiate a cease-fire on all high-fives for the next several spring training games.

Judging by manager Ron Roenicke's comments on the spread, the scope of the pinkeye situation may be greater than initially believed.

"We've been going through it for a while, and it seems like a couple of more show up every day," Roenicke said.

I'll say this: The Brewers are recognizing the problem, unlike the gross Pittsburgh Penguins, who essentially said "Looks fine to me" when Sidney Crosby showed up with half of his face overtaken with mump mounds in December.

In any case, the Brewers will have to make do with elbow taps and flying shoulders for now. You can never be too safe when dealing with a potential pandemic.

Dan is on Twitter. He dispatches the infected with his trusty lobo shovel.