Heat Fan Remixes The Killers' 'Mr. Brightside' into Hassan Whiteside Tribute

Hassan Whiteside is a monster or possibly an Area 51 alien.

Exactly which species of anthropomorphic, shot-swallowing demon the Miami Heat have discovered in their newfound star is up for debate, but what we do know about Whiteside is that he appears to just be getting started.

Since his breakout 12-block, triple-double performance against the Chicago Bulls in January, Whiteside has notched multiple 20-plus-rebound games for Miami and is averaging 61 percent shooting from the floor in his last five appearances.

Whiteside is becoming a recognizable and terrifying quantity in the NBA, and now his theme song has emerged.

NBA TV's Trey Kirby spotted a song written in tribute to the 25-year-old center. Heat fan and voice-over specialist Dan Sharfin rewrote The Killers' "Mr. Brightside" with lyrics praising Whiteside. Sharfin then posted the tune to SoundCloud, and for that we are forever grateful.

He's no Brandon Flowers, but Sharfin nails it with the lyrics.

Here are a few of the song's many jewels: 

• "We're not as bad at the Knicks, we're not as bad as the Knicks!"
• "Twenty-one on his chest now, he takes off his sweats now, thank you Spo!"
• "Crazy D, swatting shots into the seas, soaring high right through the skies, he's Alonzo in disguise."
• "If Spo would just let you play, all those shots you'd send away."
• "He's the D-League's greatest prize, he’s Mr. Whiteside!"

The spookiest part about the song is its timing. Sharfin posted the track in early January, before someone watered Whiteside after midnight and he morphed into a shot-blocking pterodactyl.

So Sharfin is either a prophet or just a guy who really, really knows how to pick out NBA D-League talent.

In any case, enjoy your new anthem, Miami, and trust in Mr. Whiteside. He's pretty good at basketball and exponentially less creepy than Mr. Brightside.

Dan is on Twitter, blocking trolls like Hassan.