Best Sideline Rants Ever

Scott Janovitz@@BrainTrain9Featured ColumnistJanuary 7, 2015

Best Sideline Rants Ever

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    John McEnroe gave a new, much harsher voice to the rant.
    John McEnroe gave a new, much harsher voice to the rant.MARK AVERY/Associated Press

    There's much more to sports than X's and O's or winners and losers. Sometimes, the games themselves take a backseat to the sounds of the day, and sometimes those sounds come to us in the form of entertaining—and occasionally shocking—sideline rants.

    In fact, over time, certain coaches and players have become almost as well known for their sideline antics as for their on-field (or court) play.

    In tennis, for example, millions gathered over the years to watch both John McEnroe and Andy Roddick, but nearly just as many wanted to hear them as well.

    Similarly, in football, guys like Peyton Manning and Dez Bryant are famous for talking, both on and off the field, while certain coaches—such as Will Muschamp, Brian Kelly and Bo Pelini—have scared small children to bed with their regular rants. 

    Of course, the list of classic rants—and ranters—extends far beyond the aforementioned few, a fact that inspired us to chronicle the Best Sideline Rants Ever.  

    *We should note, some of the following slides—or their respective videos, to be more exact—contain explicit language and are NSFW.

    Such is the case, though, when one highlights athletes and coaches at their angriest most "rantastic" moments.   


Close, but No Cigar

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    Steve Spurrier has been known to rant from time to time.
    Steve Spurrier has been known to rant from time to time.Rainier Ehrhardt/Associated Press

    We confined our list to just 12 rants, but would like to at least acknowledge a few more. Consider this, then, is our list of honorable mention rants:

Not so Cuddly Kelly

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    We begin our "Tantrum Tour" with a well-known coach, and an often angry one at that.

    The great State of Indiana—and Notre Dame football, to be more specific—brings us the volatile Brian Kelly, whose uncontrollable anger regularly produces sideline rants worth remembering. 

    His most dynamic rant, however, came in 2011, and wide receiver T.J. Jones will never be the same as a result. 

    We aren't exactly sure what Kelly said to Jones, but we promise it wasn't nice. And the way the furious coach stalked his prey—with a sort of animalistic commitment—was a sight to behold for sure.

    It's also worth noting the color of Kelly's face—a nice fire-born red—which makes one immediately fear for the coach's health but also screams, "cross me again and see what happens!"   

Haley Strikes Back

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    In today's NFL, wide receiver rants are a dime a dozen. This selection, however, is much more than that, which is why it made our list. 

    Though the chosen moment begins with pass-catcher Anquan Boldin vehemently expressing his general displeasure, then-Arizona OC Todd Haley immediately turns the tables on Boldin, stealing the wideout's initial thunder.

    It's as if Haley thought, "Wait, what? You've got to be kidding. This is my rant, not yours."

    While most coaches try to avoid confrontation with their players, Haley seems to thrive in such contentious conditions, as if he's just getting by until the next possible fight.

    And the biggest takeaway here is a simple one: No matter how mad you get, you'd better think twice before messing with Todd freakin' Haley!  

Bo Knows Anger

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    We stick with the "angry coach" theme here to highlight Bo Pelini, a true rant specialistand one of the most bitter coaches around. 

    During his tenure in Lincoln, it didn't take make much to get Pelini going.

    Perhaps no one, though, felt Pelini's ire quite like former Nebraska quarterback Taylor Martinez, who goes toe-to-toe with the maniacal coach in the video above.

    For the time being, let's put aside the obvious questions concerning general ethics and the proper manner in which one should deal with other humans. 

    For in this moment, Pelini teaches us all a valuable lesson, showing the rest of the world what it's like to be truly mad.

    Or, on second thought, maybe the rest of us are just much better at dealing with "things." 

Terrell Tantrum Owens

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    We take a momentary break from Rants by Coaches to highlight Terrell Owens, an athlete who nearly turned the sideline rant into a poetic art form. 

    When T.O. wasn't making noise on the field, he was literally screaming off of it, ripping apart teams with every passing tantrum. 

    Likewise, we'd be remiss if we didn't include a broader look at T.O.'s sideline antics—rather than just a single rantso enjoy the montage provided above.

    In it, Owens gives viewers just a taste—which, for the record, is plenty—of his Hall of Fame rant-ability. 

Trembling with Trembley

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    When it comes to scary, former Baltimore Orioles manager Dave Trembley takes a backseat to no one.

    Talk about a players' coach. In the highlighted rant, Trembley goes to bat (pun intended) for his guy and then say the very least.

    With his now-legendaryeven if repetitivevitriol, Trembley also lends credence to the power of simplicity.  

    The Dave Trembley Official Method of Persuasion: Find a line that works and stick with it, in an overtly loud and scary fashion! 

Undeniably Dez

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    Though the faces may be blurred in the video above, Dez Bryant's frustration and anger cannot be any clearer.

    Sure, we now know Dez was actually being more constructive than belligerent at the time, but the rant remains classic all the same.  

    Who said all rants had to be dripping with anger anyway? 

    Not to mention Bryant isn't exactly a first-time offender—he could have made our list with this one too.

    And, no matter what, the dynamic wideout will forever defend his right to rant

    To be honest, so will we. 

'Boom' Goes the Dynamite

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    In this epic sideline rant, Will Muschamp—better known to some as Coach Boom—does his best to spark the question, "Bo Pelini...who?"

    As you can see, few coaches can get furious quite like Old Mussy, and in this instance, Clay Burton encounters what has to be among the meanest rants in rant history.

    Unfortunately for Muschamp, his anger-filled lessons were too seldom embraced by guys like Burton, as the higher-ups in Gainesville have since asked him to teach them anywhere but there.

    Of course, even if Muschamp never gets another head-coaching opportunity, we know for a fact that he will continue ranting from the sideline all the same.   

Rumble with Roddick

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    When it comes to the sideline rant, Andy Roddick took over right where John McEnroe left off.

    Simply put, you have no clue what condescension feels like unless you've umped a Roddick tennis match. 

    It's impossible to condone the American's brattish on-court behavior, but even harder to resist laughing at it. 

    In truth, we aren't entirely sure what angered Roddick so profoundly in the clip above. 

    No matter what, though, Roddick—almost without fail—makes us chuckle, especially when he so courteously gives an umpire permission to use his own ears.    

Brady Bites Back

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    Tom Brady has been known at times to get heated on the sideline, but his eruption in 2011 almost certainly takes the cake.

    Though, if we're being honest, we aren't sure if we should give Brady or offensive coordinator Bill O'Brien the bulk of the credit. 

    If there's one thing for certain, it's that Brady both starts and elevates the whole "discussion."

    And give O'Brien—now the head coach in Houston—a ton of credit for refusing to back down to the franchise star. 

    Now, then, only one question remains: Who was actually right, Brady or O'Brien? 

Manning Meets Saturday

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    Both on the field and on the sideline, Peyton Manning believes he is better than the aforementioned Brady.

    And who are we to argue?

    Of course, when it comes to rants, it would be hard to do so even if we tried.

    After all, Manning is a rant legend. 

    And his confrontation with Jeff Saturday, in particular, stands above the rest.

    When, in the clip above, Saturday questions Manning's play-calling in the red zone, the quarterback "snaps" into a tirade of epic proportions, shifting from savvy politician to cranky prepubescent.

    It's also worth noting that beyond the tirade itself, the extended moment reaches all-time classic status, as Manning first acknowledges that he's "mic'd up" before comparing the drama that had just transpired to an episode of Desperate Housewives. 

    Not surprisingly, then, leave it to Manning to find an element of humor in what was otherwise nothing but a ridiculous rant. 

Ranting in the Knight

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    We've included the "tyrannical" Bobby Knight in our list, because failing to do so—when it comes to such a list—would be a major mistake.

    Simply put, sideline rants wouldn't be what they are today without the prolific Knight. 

    And the selected rant, in our opinion, just so happens to be the legendary coach's finest work.

    Replete with disgust, ridicule, explicit language and airborne chairs, the rant in question truly has it all.

    Like few others, Knight embraced the physical side of things during his most notable tantrums, serving as sort of the Charlie Chaplin of sideline rants.

    Of course, finding a favorite rant—like asking a parent to pick which kid they love the most—was no easy task, though it certainly was tons of fun 

King of Rants

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    It would be near sacrilege to finish our Review of Rants with anyone other than the unquestioned King of Rants: John McEnroe.

    In fact, to limit this slide to just one rant would grossly sell the maniacal McEnroe short.

    After all, no one could trash the maxim "don't sweat the small things" quite like Johnny Mac. 

    In fact, his sideline antics were so startling that his brilliant on-court game was often of secondary concern. 

    More importantly, revisiting past McEnroe rants today reminds us—with numerous, "wait, he actually said that?" moments—how far we've really come as a civilization. 

    That said, we sure are happy to remember said hurdles, now that we've gotten over them. 

    Follow Janovitz on Twitter @BrainTrain9


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