College Football Superlatives from Kramer's Korner: Welcome to Campaign Season
Urban Meyer’s first order of business was the most imperative: conquer Minnesota in its outdoor, oversized, alcohol-serving snow globe and keep all hopes for a College Football Playoff appearance alive no matter what cost.
His second undertaking—once item No. 1 had been crossed off the list—was to play to the crowd and reinforce how ancient that inexplicable loss to Virginia Tech appears today. Meyer’s post-win message was calculated and not the least bit surprising.
Like an expert promoter talking up his prizefighter to anyone willing to listen, he reminded us that college football’s campaign season is upon us:
.jpg?w=256 "Ohio State Team Doctor")
"Urban Meyer: "I challenge any team in the country that wants to schedule this one in November. Have at it."
— Brian Bennett (@BennettESPN) November 15, 2014"
Meyer undoubtedly believes in the extended sales pitch, but this signifies much more than being openly confident about your team. It’s where the “head coach” label morphs into astute politician. It’s where actual football is accompanied with sound bites suited for a poster.
This verbal art form isn’t exclusive to Ohio State. It also doesn't exist solely because a group of humans will decide CFB’s postseason for the very first time. Even the BCS brought out these November pitches in an effort to sway Harris Poll voters’ ears and overall public appeal.
With 12 committee members to influence, you can expect this coach-speak weekly from any team within arm’s reach of the playoff. It’s far easier to sway a human than it is to sway a computer, and for that reason, the campaigning will likely reach an unexplored threshold over the coming weeks. You’ve been warned.
Even though these comments relayed in tweets and columns may seem insignificant in the grand scheme, a coach—particularly one looking to close ground on the top four positions—has no other choice but to embrace his inner used car salesman.
It will be familiar, repetitive and completely understandable. However, as the flood of self-endorsements continues to rain down each week, the more significant question becomes: Will it work?
We shall see.
As for the rest of the week, including awards, highlights and Vines of grown men eating ice cream in the snow, here is your Week 12 recap.
Offensive Player of the Week: Melvin Gordon, Wisconsin
This is the least amount of suspense surrounding any award in the history of awards. The fabulous Melvin Gordon, Wisconsin’s star running back, broke the FBS record for rushing yards in a game Saturday. And he did it in three quarters.
Gordon finished with 408 rushing yards on 25 carries, good for an average of 16.3 per rush. He also found the end zone four times. His 408 yards rushing were two better than former TCU running back LaDainian Tomlinson, who went for 406 yards against UTEP in 1999. It’s worth pointing out that Gordon accomplished this in 15 minutes less and did so against a ranked opponent.
In total, Gordon has now rushed for 1,909 yards and scored 25 touchdowns this season. He is, quite simply, unfair.
Dominant Defender: Jalen Ramsey, Florida State
You could make an argument—and a pretty convincing one—that Florida State does not beat Miami if Jalen Ramsey doesn’t play the best game of his season and one of the best games a defensive back has played all year.
Yes, there were defenders with better overall tackling numbers this weekend, but his impact was felt through various moments in the game, including Miami’s last offensive snap. Ramsey secured the Florida State win with his interception late in the fourth quarter. He also added three tackles, a tackle for loss, four pass breakups, a forced fumble and a blocked PAT.
The blocked PAT changed the complexion of the Hurricanes’ final drive entirely, and its importance cannot be overstated.
Video Game Box Score
-Tevin Coleman picked the wrong week to run for 307 yards. Indiana’s outstanding running back carried the ball 32 times to reach this incredible output, good for nearly 10 yards per carry. He also scored a touchdown. The most shocking thing about this performance wasn’t the production itself; it’s that the Hoosiers still lost to Rutgers by 22 points, despite a massive showing from their star.
-Cincinnati and East Carolina provided the most basketball-esque score of the weekend Thursday. In total, the Bearcats and Pirates combined for 100 points, 1,158 yards, 854 passing yards and 59 first downs. There were also 107 passes thrown. In the end, despite its best efforts to give the game away, Cincinnati prevailed, 54-46.
Anti-Video Game Box Score
-If you were curious as to why the USC-Cal game lasted far longer than it should have, look no further than the part of the box score where penalties are housed. The Trojans and the Bears combined for 24 penalties and 261 penalty yards, which is remarkable, even for Pac-12 officials. USC did the primary heavy lifting, finishing with 14 penalties for 159 yards.
-The injury to superstar freshman Deshaun Watson forced Clemson to turn (again) to the experienced Cole Stoudt. It did not go well. Stoudt completed just three of 11 passes for 19 yards. He also threw three interceptions, two of which were taken back a combined 147 yards for touchdowns. As a result, you finished with a better rating than he did:
"Cole Stoudt's QB rating -12.8. Yes, that is a negative twelve point eight. pic.twitter.com/ts5Jw3770U
— Beat Clemson (@BeatClem) November 15, 2014"
Biggest Surprise
I’ll be honest, I did not expect to see a grown man on the sideline, mustache-equipped, eating ice cream in the snow early Saturday afternoon. Thanks to Minnesota sideline phone technician Dan Lehman, however, that’s precisely what transpired.
Oh, don’t judge. There is never, ever a bad time to eat ice cream. Quite frankly, eating ice cream in below-freezing temperatures might as well be featured on a Big Ten rivalry trophy. At the pace we’re manufacturing these, perhaps this will soon be possible.
Also, have you ever eaten ice cream in the snow? Why not?
Best Moment
In untraditional fashion, Arkansas head coach Bret Bielema has established a cult-like following through soul-crushing losses. That seems strange given the way we obsess over results, although the Razorbacks’ 2014 season has been anything but ordinary.
Bielema finally earned his first SEC win Saturday, limiting LSU to 123 yards and allowing no points in a 17-0 win. A fanbase that had anxiously waited to celebrate the occasion finally got its chance—and celebrate it did:
"WHAT. A. NIGHT. #WeTookTheBoot #WPS pic.twitter.com/zKZu3ff9D3
— Razorback Football (@RazorbackFB) November 16, 2014"
It’s hard to not feel the satisfaction for Bielema and the program in general. Arkansas had come so close to ending a winless conference streak that dragged out far too long, with many of the defeats being a play or point away from a different result entirely. Along the way, the Hogs picked up sympathy. And, because the team is so obviously improved, it has garnered respect.
Although one win against LSU won’t erase a season of close calls, it does set a solid foundation for the remainder of the year and next season. The progress has been remarkable.
Now, at least on the surface level, there are some results to go with it. Expect plenty more to come.
For the Highlight Reel
At first glance, the series of events didn’t seem real. The score itself was already strange enough, and a play of this magnitude nearly overloaded our system. But Nigel King’s bizarre and brilliant sideline-navigating grab was real, and for a while, it looked like a potential deathblow to TCU’s College Football Playoff hopes.
The upset bid was not to be, although that doesn’t make King’s 78-yard touchdown any less magnificent. The fact that he was able to catch the ball off the deflection, gather it with one hand and somehow not go out of bounds will stay a football mystery.
It’s better that way.
If the College Football Playoff Started Today...(or Why I Hate Your Team)
Had Florida State lost Saturday night, this section would have been pure mayhem. As is, picking the top four teams in college football—and placing them neatly in a four-team playoff that won’t be decided for weeks—remains a tall order.
Ohio State and both Big 12 teams are right on the cusp, so let’s get that out of the way now. As for what my playoff would look like if it started today, here is the top four. (Note: My playoff would include 64 teams, be played on an aircraft carrier and would not allow Pac-12 officials under any circumstance.)
1. Oregon
2. Alabama
3. Florida State
4. Mississippi State
Five Leftovers to Chew on
1. Todd Gurley will almost certainly never carry the ball at the collegiate level again, which is a tough reality to stomach. Gurley suffered a torn ACL Saturday against Auburn while playing for the first time since his suspension, ending his season and almost certainly his Georgia career. Although there are many ways to take this conversation and various ways to direct anger and blame, I’d rather not. Well, not now, at least. I just feel for a kid who got a raw deal in a variety of ways this year. Get well soon, Gurley.
2. Speaking of injuries, Deshaun Watson’s knee injury—which looked serious at the time—is not as bad as it appeared. In fact, he might play again this year. Regardless of whether he does or not, not having to deal with major rehabilitation over the offseason is an enormous win for Watson and Clemson. If he can stay healthy in 2015, he could be in line for a special season.
3. I understand the frustration with Nebraska head coach Bo Pelini and his inability to win a “big” game. It’s not just the fact that Pelini is losing these games, either. In many cases—including Saturday—the Cornhuskers have been blown out in embarrassing fashion. And yet, even with these results considered, Pelini shouldn't be on the hot seat. Not yet, at least. If he doesn’t win one of these types of games over the course of next season, however, the negativity may start to turn yet again.
4. Florida State again lured you into believing it had no shot against Miami, although this is becoming a weekly ritual at this point. I wrote about this Saturday night, shortly after the Seminoles overcame a 23-7 deficit to beat the Hurricanes. It’s clear this is not the same dominant team from last season, so don’t bother wondering when it will suddenly come together. But in a year without a dominant team, FSU and its chaotic style still has as good of a chance as anyone to win it all.
5. What a brutal way for Arizona State’s College Football Playoff bid to end, although given the timing, perhaps we shouldn’t be all that surprised that an average Oregon State team was able to pull off the upset. Even in the disappointment, however, Todd Graham should be celebrated for the job he’s done this season. Graham replaced almost his entire defense and played without his starting quarterback for much of the season. Perhaps Florida was paying attention.
Large Man Play of the Week
When a man tipping the scales near or above 300 pounds does something exceptional, you’re bound to find that exceptional moment in this weekly recap. It doesn’t matter if this large human plays at Alabama or Mercer—he will be highlighted and celebrated.
Enter Thomas Marchman, Mercer’s offensive lineman, who caught a touchdown against Warner on Saturday. This, while excellent by its lonesome, didn’t encompass the entire scene. He was just getting started.
There's a bowling pin celebration and a large man doing a cartwheel included in the video below. You're going to want to hit play if you haven't already.
Best Failed Fake Punt of the Week
This is special, Cal, and I mean that sincerely. Yes, this fake punt against USC failed miserably, but it failed in such spectacular fashion that we can’t help but offer up casual applause.
Why did Cole Leininger lift up both legs—faking it, so to speak—before throwing a duck into the ground?
Perhaps it was all part of the plan...
Animated Reaction of the Week
Although most fans are content to express their disappointment with a missed field goal with a minor arm gesture and a curse word or three, this gentleman from Minnesota had other plans. Someone get him a hug.
Fan of the Week
The commentary in the tweet below says it all, really. I have nothing to add.
"You can see the regret in real time. RT @RedditCFB It was 12° in Boise last night: https://t.co/knPsDMQZWd
— Steven Godfrey (@38Godfrey) November 16, 2014"
Coat of the Week
"What a beautiful coat! pic.twitter.com/ZEAQQPYamj
— Brent Yarina (@BTNBrentYarina) November 15, 2014"
This isn’t so much a coat as it is a fabulous bear costume. It also moonlights as a handy Big Ten football accessory, especially when the calendar turns to November.
Can this coat be worn in most normal-sized automobiles? No chance. But you will never be cold again.
Gators Blocking Gators (Again)
Oh, Florida. Not again. Not like this.
From the Peanut Gallery (Best Tweets of the Weekend)
"— Gamecock Athletics (@GamecocksOnline) November 15, 2014"
"Spurrier is about to drop a mixtape at the postgame pic.twitter.com/F2dh28nsVv
— Danny (@recordsANDradio) November 15, 2014"
"Miami dad giving the FSU bus the finger. Miami (maybe 3-year old) daughter on his shoulders following suit
— Jared Shanker (@JShankerESPN) November 15, 2014"
".@HeismanTrophy Hi.
— Badger Football (@BadgerFootball) November 15, 2014"
"Charlie Strong on his pregame message to players: "They told me it was cold. I told them it wasn't cold."
— Mike Finger (@mikefinger) November 16, 2014"
.jpg?w=480 "Ohio State Team Doctor")
