Lawrence Taylor Doesn't Watch Football...But, He Loves To Watch Porn!

Hall of Fame New York Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor told KLAC radio station in Los Angeles last week that he no longer follows NFL action because he prefers to watch pornography instead.

"I don't really mess with football anymore," said Taylor, 50, a 10-time Pro Bowl selection who was named to the NFL's 75th Anniversary All-Time Team. "That's an era of my life that has passed. A lot of guys will sit there and live football. Every Sunday they're glued to the television watching football. I don't watch football. I'd rather watch two people f@ck."

L.T. was selected by the Giants out of the University of North Carolina with the second overall pick in the 1981 NFL Draft.

From the instant he premiered in the swamps of New Jersey, the native of Williamsburg, Virginia physically overwhelmed the competition and he is widely credited with revolutionizing the linebacker position in the professional ranks.

"Lawrence Taylor, defensively, has had as big an impact as any player I've ever seen," said football icon John Madden. "He changed the way defense is played, the way pass-rushing is played, the way linebackers play and the way offenses block linebackers."

Taylor, a two-time Super Bowl champion and the 1986 AP NFL MVP, is simply one of the greatest players to ever grace the gridiron.

However, L.T.'s lengthy battles with drugs, alcohol, and various other personal demons almost derailed one of the most accomplished careers in the history of football.

In 1988, Taylor tested positive for cocaine for the second time and he was suspended from football for 30 days.

NFL rules stipulate that if a player were to test positive for blow three times, that individual would be forever barred from competing again.

With that realization in mind, Taylor claims he temporarily resisted using snow and he turned to the bottle as a substitute.

In a November 2003 interview with Mike Wallace on 60 Minutes, L.T. was asked what he could do that no other outside linebacker could and he answered, "Drink."

During the same interview segment, the one-time WWF wrestler recounted an episode when he arrived to a team meeting in handcuffs after a wild night spent banging strumpets.

"A couple of ladies that were trying out some new equipment they had. You know?" Taylor asked rhetorically. "And I just happened to, and they just didn't happen to have the key."

Taylor admitted in his second autobiography that he was excited to resume snorting candycaine as he neared his retirement from the league.

"I saw coke as the only bright spot in my future," said the aspiring actor.

At the conclusion of his illustrious pigskin career, Taylor followed through and he began to blow coke again as if he were impersonating Tony Montana.

According to the three-time AP NFL Defensive Player of the Year, he only associated with drug users during this period and he lived in a home with white sheets that covered his windows.

"I had gotten really bad," Taylor said. "I mean, my place was almost like a crack house."

The gridiron legend swears that he is entirely clean and sober these days.

Nevertheless, L.T. still readily acknowledges that his vice is smut.

Taylor once was quoted as saying, "For me, crazy as it seems, there is a real relationship between wild, reckless, and abandoned off the field and being that way on the field."

Perhaps Taylor could utilize that same mentality, avoid a relapse, and flourish in the world of porn.

Just think, L.T.'s first adult feature could be titled, "Sack the Muff."

Somewhere, Jackie Treehorn is licking his chops at the potential of it all.

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