Detroit Tigers Introducing an All-Star Lineup of Filthy, Tasty Hot Dogs for 2014

You’re going to want these in your mouth.

Resist all you want, but the moment baseball fans step into Comerica Park this season, they will be met with the irresistible aroma of hot dogs and gravy wafting through the air. 

According to Bill Shea of CrainsDetroit.com (h/t Brian Manzullo of the Detroit Free Press), the Detroit Tigers are introducing four new ballpark franks into their vending rotation for the 2014 season.

Headlining the meat fleet is the "Poutine Dog"—a hot dog covered in fries, beef gravy and cheese curds. It will sell for $7 and stand to be the most important American-Canadian collaboration since NAFTA.

Next we have the "Late Night Dog"—a ballpark frank stuffed with fried egg, bacon and cheddar cheese. It’s an omelette on a hot dog, and will probably change your religion.

Third in the new line is the "Pork & Beans" dog—a frank buried in baked beans, cheddar cheese and bacon. It sounds like a hot, wonderful mess for those who want the South in their mouth.

Last, but not least, is the "Slaw Dog" covered in coney chili and cole slaw. This is classic Detroit fare and sure to be a fan favorite.

As it may sound, Sportservice—the company in charge of vending at Comerica—has been hard at work on these creations. 

“All the hot dogs are a combination of us all brainstorming and looking at trends,” said Robert Thormeier, Sportservice general manager at Comerica. “Currently, poutine seems to be growing, and my operations manager and chef are big fans of it, so we developed it from there.”

Yes, develop away, hot dog scientists. Build a Hadron Collider if you have to. Do whatever it takes to keep the ballpark rife with meat covered in other meats.

Tigers fans come for the Cabrera, but they’ll stay for the gravy. They always stay for the gravy.

Welp, I’m starving.

Follow @Dr__Carson