The Craziest Fan Tattoos in Sports
The tattoo, not unlike marriage, religion or gangs, is a major commitment that has the potential to haunt you forever. Although a tattoo that immortalizes your favorite team or player can quickly go from "great idea" to "regrettable," it's nothing on par with having your ex's name or a naked succubus riding a flaming dragon.
But, a sports tattoo is not something to take for granted either; the decision is rife with pitfalls that could be more catastrophic than deciding which player's jersey to buy.
Your Pittsburgh Penguins Maxime Talbot jersey can be burned and replaced—and while the wasted cash is a shame—it will never, ever evoke the white hot regret that a poorly rendered Max Talbot face etched somewhere on your body will.
That doesn't mean that seeing insane sports tattoos on other people isn't great—their regret (or pride) is our gain. And the combination of blind devotion and inebriation that often inspires fans to make impulsive decisions is the perfect formula for a tattoo that can stop traffic.
These are the craziest fan tattoos in sports.
Newcastle United
1 of 40
Date: January 2011
Event: Sunderland vs. Newcastle United
What’s with all these pale, chubby English soccer fans getting massive belly tattoos? This guy is shining a massive spotlight on the one part of his body you’d think he’d most like to cover up.
It’s certainly the part (which is legally allowed to be exposed) that everyone else would like him to cover up.
Dallas Cowboys
2 of 40
Date: September 2010
Event: Cowboys vs. Bears
Look at this poor bastard. You know there are few people in Dallas who are more devastated by general manager Jerry Jones’ reign of abject mediocrity than this inked fan.
That’s far too much body real estate to dedicate to a perennial 8-8 team.
Hampshire
3 of 40
Date: May 2007
Event: LV County Championship, Hampshire vs. Yorkshire
Everything about this fella’s back is awful, but I think it’s the rogue scorpion that really sends it over the edge.
.jpg?w=256 "Colts Jaguars Football")
Vancouver Canucks
4 of 40
Date: November 2008
Event: Flames vs. Canucks
This guy’s tattoo actually wouldn’t be that crazy if it were located on the lower back of a woman. Sorry, but that thing screams “tramp stamp.”
Vancouver Canucks
5 of 40
Date: November 2008
Event: Flames vs. Canucks
Apparently, very bad decisions are an epidemic among the Canucks faithful. Much like their team’s choke jobs in the playoffs every year.
England National Team
6 of 40
Date: June 2012
Event: Euro 2012, England vs. Ukraine
Not only is the view of this tattoo especially unappealing, getting inked with a declarative statement is never a good idea. Will there always be an England? Probably. But what if there isn’t? That would only be an ugly daily reminder.
New England Patriots
7 of 40
Date: November 2009
Event: Patriots vs. Colts
Because of the dimensions, this tattoo cannot be seen in its entirety. Which is for the best, honestly, as it doesn’t get any better at the bottom. I can’t believe this guy got the name of a razor and the stadium permanently inked on his arm...his whole arm.
This tattoo is more permanent than any building.
Moto X Freestyle
8 of 40
Date: August 2002
Event: Moto X Freestyle
It’s hard to tell if that’s a man or a woman in the photo, although I think it’s a man. That tattoo would be ill-advised on a woman; on a man, it’s just plain wrong.
England National Team
9 of 40
Date: June 2004
Event: Euro 2004, Croatia vs. England
This tramp stamp is on the lower back of an English fan—the photo had to be cropped, but I promise you that “England” was plastered across the butt of this guy’s shorts. What that has to do with red hands breaking out of shackles is above my pay grade.
Philadelphia Flyers
10 of 40
Date: June 2010
Event: Stanley Cup Final, Flyers vs. Blackhawks
I don't want to get too down on this tattoo, because it's clear the owner is crazier than the ink.
AFC Ajax
11 of 40
Date: September 2002
Event: Litmanen Stars New Season
Not only is this guy’s tattoo awful, but the fact that he’s making someone autograph the upper portion of his right breast is practically an act of terrorism.
Washington Redskins
12 of 40
Date: August 2009
Event: Redskins training camp
On one hand, I’m impressed with this guy’s tattoo artist—creating such a symmetrical chart on an expanding surface couldn’t have been easy. On the other hand, this dude basically has a spreadsheet on his entire back.
Newcastle United
13 of 40
Date: May 2004
Event: Olympique De Marseille vs. Newcastle United
Let’s be honest here. This one is more about the canvas than the painting.
Oakland Raiders
14 of 40
Date: November 2011
Event: Raiders vs. Bears
So many things about this tattoo scene are weird. The Lombardi Trophies look like they’re sprouting from the Beavis and Butt-Head-like rendering of Al Davis, whose disembodied head is resting awkwardly on a comically undersized Raiders helmet.
Oakland Raiders
15 of 40
Date: November 2013
Event: Raiders vs. Eagles
Here's another tattooed tribute to the late Al Davis. Whatever gains this one makes for looking less scary than the last one are completely wiped out by the skeleton on the other leg that looks like it’s about to shoot Davis in the dome.
Stoke City
16 of 40
Date: April 2011
Event: FA Cup semifinal, Bolton Wanderers vs. Stoke City
This Stoke City fan got one tattoo too many. Can you guess which one pushed him over the edge? Never get a tattoo that accentuates the weird shelf on a naked skull.
UEFA Champions League
17 of 40
Date: May 2006
Event: UEFA Champions League Final
A butt tattoo is almost never a good idea. I’ve never seen a good butt tattoo in all my years, which is why I said almost—they say nothing is impossible.
Philadelphia Eagles
18 of 40
Date: October 2012
Event: Steelers vs. Eagles
Here's Chuck Salomon representing Eagles green at Pittsburgh’s Heinz Field prior to a game against the Steelers. He’s going to be devastated when he finds out eagles don’t have teeth.
Philadelphia Eagles
19 of 40
Date: October 2012
Event: Steelers vs. Eagles
Here’s Chuck Salomon again! Apparently he moved down to his thighs after he ran out of room on his ample belly. Anyone else wondering if his belly button started off as an outie or just transitioned out of necessity?
Maybe it's just trying to get away out of sheer embarrassment.
Celtic F.C.
20 of 40
Date: July 2009
Event: FA Wembley Cup, Celtic vs. Tottenham Hotspur
This piece of body art features Spider-Man, a name and number, a man who wouldn’t look out of place on the cover of MAD magazine, a crucifix and someone who might be the Pope but closely resembles Vladimir Putin.
Looks like someone should have stopped after Spider-Man.
Dallas Cowboys
21 of 40
Date: September 2013
Event: Cowboys vs. Chargers
As far as massive back tattoos go, at least this one is well done. What’s crazy about this thing is Troy Aikman is the cornerstone of it rather than Roger Staubach.
England National Team
22 of 40
Date: June 2004
Event: Euro 2004, Croatia vs. England
This isn’t a service to England. In fact, this is a massive disservice to England. That oddly undersized tribute to his country only served to weaken a nation. I hope he’s happy.
Pittsburgh Steelers
23 of 40
Date: January 2011
Event: Steelers Fan Collection, Miller Gallery
The Steelers tattoos in this art exhibit are jarring. First of all, I’m not particularly religious, but I can’t imagine integrating a crucifix into a football tattoo is something Jesus would do. Also, how could you ever sleep with Jack Lambert’s face snarling into your soul?
AC Milan
24 of 40
Date: May 2007
Event: UEFA Champions League Final, Liverpool vs. AC Milan
Unless you’ve got a top-notch tattoo artist with a decades-long proven track record of successfully inking human faces on human bodies that don’t look like the crudely drawn portraits of an artistically talented toddler, it’s probably best to avoid them at all costs. This tattoo is proof of that.
Shell Championship Series for V8 Supercars
25 of 40
Date: November 1999
Event: FAI Bathurst 1000
You have to give it to this guy. That tattoo is an absolute race-car crash, but at least he committed to it. The wicked sunburn is a nice touch.
Manchester United
26 of 40
Date: April 2011
Event: FA Cup semifinal, Manchester United vs. Manchester City
Once again, I’m just not sure Jesus would love this. Unless all those guys around him on that dude’s back were crucified, it seems that including Jesus here would marginalize his ordeal. But like I said, I’m not religious, so maybe this stuff was given the OK in the Bible.
Oakland Raiders
27 of 40
Date: September 2013
Event: Raiders vs. Jaguars
We’ve all seen far worse Raiders tattoos than this one, but imagine what that thing is going to look like a few years down the road when he’s no longer...working out...with the same frequency.
England National Team
28 of 40
Date: June 2004
Event: England fans camping in Portugal
Here's another horrifying tribute to England that is permanently inked on the pale love handles of one of its own. The patriotic tramp stamp is bad, and the ridiculous Asian characters near the nape of his neck are even worse. I bet the English translation of that tattoo is “drunk, white idiot.”
Pittsburgh Penguins
29 of 40
Date: October 2010
Event: Penguins vs. Flyers
Let this be a lesson to everyone! It’s bad enough to be stuck with the jersey of some obscure mediocre player after he bails for the first team that overpays him, but it’s much worse to have his face live forever on your leg. I had a Max Talbot jersey before he peaced out to the Flyers—this dude wishes all he had was a jersey.
Newcastle United
30 of 40
Date: April 2010
Event: Newcastle United vs. Ipswich Town
Remember what I just said about the Max Talbot tattoo? Well, imagine that idiot had a jersey tattooed on his back too. Maybe this Shearer character never left Newcastle, but it’s still a crazy idea—especially when paired with a Spider-Man hood. On the bright side, this guy has one less shirt to wash.
Leicester City
31 of 40
Date: March 2008
Event: West Bromwich Albion vs. Leicester City
This soul-sucking tattoo accentuates the asymmetrical gathering of the wearer's back fat. I wish I hadn’t spent all that time examining it because now I want to gouge my eyeballs out with a spoon.
Celtic F.C.
32 of 40
Date: April 2003
Event: Celtic fans get ready for their trip to Seville
You don’t have to see the massive back tattoo of a bunch of people bending over to know this is a man who makes bad decisions. The sombrero alone tells that story—never trust anyone wearing a sombrero, unless that person is selling sombreros.
Oakland Raiders
33 of 40
Date: October 2012
Event: Jaguars vs. Raiders
Something tells me this guy doesn’t get invited home to meet the parents very often. He may be a perfectly nice guy, but a Raiders head tattoo? That’s a deal breaker, ladies.
Newcastle United
34 of 40
Date: February 2011
Event: Blackburn Rovers vs. Newcastle United
So wrong. So very, very wrong. The only good thing about this guy’s tattoo is that he was honest enough to make a fellow fat guy the star of the show. This is wholly unpleasant, but it would be much worse if a topless woman was trying to pawn off that bottle of Newcastle Ale to unsuspecting strangers.
Argentina National Team
35 of 40
Date: June 2010
Event: FIFA World Cup, South Africa vs. Argentina
This Argentine fan is so covered in ink that it’s impossible to tell if any of them are even sports related. Not that ironing out that little detail will make it any easier for him to find a job.
NASCAR
36 of 40
Date: July 2013
Event: Camping World RV Sales 301
The phrase "NASCAR Girl" is what really brings this seemingly incoherent ink montage together—yet, so many questions remain unanswered.
Where does the mystical staircase lead to? Who is the woman walking down it? What is the NASCAR connection? Are the butterfly and moon parts of the scene or just a product of limited space?
England National Team
37 of 40
Date: October 2013
Event: FIFA World Cup Qualifier, England vs. Montenegro
Part skin diorama and part menacing advertisement for English hooliganism, I'd read this guy in the waiting room of my dentist's office if I didn't think he might kill me.
San Diego Chargers
38 of 40
Date: December 2012
Event: Bengals vs. Chargers
I'm neither passing judgment nor being snide when I tell you that I've never met a real Chargers fan in my life. Not one.
But if the team inspires this guy to live with a Chargers demon tattoo on his melon until death do they part, then I'll just have to assume that geography is likely the reason why.
Tottenham Hotspur FC
39 of 40
Date: September 2012
Event: UEFA Europa League, Tottenham Hotspur vs. S.S. Lazio
If Mike Tyson's face tattoo had a spirit animal, this dude would fit the bill. But considering the visual image that his mere presence creates, I'd have to say the middle finger is a little redundant.
Los Angeles Lakers
40 of 40
Date: May 2001
Event: Spurs vs. Lakers
The “I slept with Shaq” tattoo was so insane that I felt the need to Google search and find out the story behind it. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t find any explanation that would make this thing seem like a good idea.
What I did find is a time gap of more than a decade between when Getty Images says this photo was taken and when this insane dude actually got some attention for his bad decision making.
.jpg?w=480 "Colts Jaguars Football")
