8 Better Ways to Retire from the NBA

Grant Hill and Jason Kidd both announced their retirement a few days apart, as the co-1994 Rookie of the Year Award winners will leave together, just as they came into the league together, but there was nothing exciting about their announcements.

Hill was the first to announce that he wouldn't be coming back next season.

Almost dismissive about the topic, Hill was introduced on Inside the NBA by Ernie Johnson, and simply said, "I'm glad to be here, and I'm glad to say I'm done."

That was it for Hill, after 19 years worth of one of the most intriguing careers in the history of the game, he gave a pretty cool, albeit nonchalant announcement on national television.

Kidd's announcement was even less eventful, doing nothing but telling a few reporters on Monday that he was done, despite the two years still left on his deal with the New York Knicks.

With how flamboyant so many players in the NBA have been over the years, it's a bit surprising that we don't see more flashy retirement announcements.

The most we ever see is a press conference, maybe a rant and a walk-off, but nobody ever goes all-out to tell the people that they're done with basketball.

It seems like there are plenty of opportunities to make a real splash with a retirement announcement, the players just need a few ideas.

8. Take to the Skies

If a player wants everybody to know at the same time that he's decided to trade in his tennis shoes for loafers, it's hard to do without going through an intermediary.

A guy would either have to send out a tweet, which is a bit impersonal, or he could go through a reporter, which is too ho-hum.

Of course, he could always just get a skywriting buddy and some fliers at Kinkos to do the job for him.

Get the skywriter to write out the announcement in midair, while simultaneously blanketing the city with fliers that detail the announcement.

There might be a bit of a clean-up necessary, but this is just my first idea. I've got a ton more.

7. Jumbotron Announcement

This would likely be an end-of-the-season thing, or possibly just anytime throughout the season I suppose, but I want to see a player make like a cheesy boyfriend proposing to his girlfriend at a public event.

The player shouldn't tell the front office, players, coach, anybody. Instead he needs to get the Jumbotron guy to write up a message that says the player will be retiring as he just stands there and waves.

A wave of reaction the likes of which we've never seen will flow over the crowd, until the team eventually looks to see what's going on, as they realize what's going on as well.

There might be a bit of resentment for not telling anybody beforehand, but it would still be a cool way to get a shocked, simultaneous reaction from 17,000 people.

6. The Blaze of Glory

This is what I call the "Take this job and shove it" approach to retiring, and it's likely something that's going to take an extremely disgruntled player to pull it off.

Latrell Sprewell did have a small variation of this when he decided that a three-year, $21 million deal wasn't good enough to feed his family. He turned down other, smaller offers on in the season and ended up being forced into retirement in 2005.

However, that was more him being short-sighted, rather than trying to make a statement to the league.

What I want to see is a player go into a game, possibly the last game of the season (or around that time), and just go rogue against the league.

Argue calls with referees, sit down at the broadcast table and make disparaging comments about David Stern, sit in the stands and have a few beers with the fans, and wait for the angry phone call following the game.

Once Stern comes down with an historic fine, it's time to announce the end of an illustrious career.

Finish it off by doubling Stern's fine and donating it to local charities, all while thumbing your nose at the commissioner.

5. Private Announcement with the Fans

In a bit of a different direction than the last suggestion, this would would be a bit of a classier route.

It's another attempt to get the message out to a large group of people, all while trying to go directly to the people rather than an intermediary.

Instead of putting together a press conference, throw a party. Squeeze everybody into the arena who can fit, pay for some free food and drinks, and have a big thank-you party.

In the end, it seems as if everybody would know what was coming, but end it all with an announcement, and another nod of gratitude toward the fans.

4. Eke Your Way Down the Bench

This one's gone down a few times in recent years, and it's really one of my favorite to see evolve over the years.

You can see when a player is starting to go downhill, and he's realizing it. Whether he's a lifetime bench player or a former great, there's a moment where their retirement becomes imminent.

The only problem is they show up again in the following season, and then for three more seasons following, all the while scooting down the bench closer to the deep reserves.

Eventually you see them sitting in a suit next to the coaches, but still listed on the team's roster.

It's at that point where the indistinguishable jump becomes tricky, going from the old player wearing a suit to the young assistant coach fans love to see still around.

Sam Cassell did it, and so did Brian Shaw.

Now it seems as if there are a few candidates to take the leap. Juwan Howard is the obvious candidate, but Derek Fisher, and possibly even Jerry Stackhouse and Andre Miller, albeit a bit down the road.

3. Take the J.D. Salinger Route

There's not enough players who retire in their prime. That's not exactly a complaint, it's just surprising that there aren't any players who decide they don't want to play any more and simply walk away.

If that's the choice a player makes in the near future, then I've got a suggestion that would get them all kinds of attention.

Let's say a good player, Chris Paul maybe, gets tired of the spotlight after a decade in the league.

Plenty of years lie ahead if he wants to stick around, but it seems more daunting to keep dealing with the negatives than simply retiring.

Rather than holding a press conference to announce an early retirement, I say just take a tip from The Catcher in the Rye author J.D. Salinger and go into seclusion; just disappear.

There would be endless speculation of what went wrong, why he decided enough was enough and just what he could possibly be up to.

2. Drop the Mic

A bit of a variation of simply disappearing, Gregg Popovich had a pretty cool way to retire, even if he was being a bit facetious.

Earlier this season Pop was asked about when he thought Tim Duncan would retire. His response via Fox Sports Southwest was pretty cool:

"

When he doesn't think he can, he'll stop. It might be in the middle of a game. I can see him walking of the court saying 'Nah, I'm not pulling my weight anymore, I'm gone.' And he'll walk. And I'll be right behind him, like this. No pride, no nothing.

"

That would be the ultimate movie-style ending to a career, a player simply walking off the court in the middle of the game because he realizes that he's not helping his team as much as he should be able to.

It would be a bitter pill to swallow, but boy would it be one of the most badass and humble ways to end a career.

1. The Robinson Way

While going out with flash and style would be memorable, there's got to be nothing more fulfilling than finishing a career after winning an NBA championship.

The last player to decide enough was enough after winning a ring was Peja Stojakovic, but that's mostly due to the fact that nobody wanted him anymore. 

Whenever anybody talks about going out on top, the ultimate example in the NBA is David Robinson, who played his final season with the San Antonio Spurs back in 2003.

Robinson's minutes were dwindling by 2003 and he couldn't move quite as well around the basket, but he could still rebound, and he was still one of the widest, strongest big dudes in the NBA.

The Admiral could have easily returned and come off the bench, or even shared starting center duties for the Spurs the following season, but he read the writing on the wall and was ready to walk off.

It's definitely something Tim Duncan could do two weeks from now, although I'm sure we're all hoping he sticks around and continues to dominate for another decade.