Come To Think Of It...A Painful Spring for Cubs

Ouch.

I can hardly write about it without grimacing as if it was happening to me.

Felix Pie. Twisted testicle. Enough said.

You've got to be kidding me. This makes me 'nails on a chalkboard' kind of squeamish.

Men, repeat after me: A twisted testicle. I'm not usually one who is at a loss for words, as anyone who reads my articles will tell you, but this one leaves me speechless.

And it's not the only pain the Cubs have endured this spring.  Besides the teams' painful won-loss record, that is.

How about Mark DeRosa? All he's had to endure is a heart condition that had to be surgically corrected.

Kosuke Fukudome got hit on the collarbone, though he, luckily, avoided serious injury. Welcome to American baseball K-Fuk.

Aramis Ramirez has an inflamed shoulder. Take two and call me in the morning.

Alex Cintron, trying to make the team as a utility infielder, got smacked in the cheekbone by a batted ball. Ow, that will leave a mark.

And now closer-in-waiting Kerry Wood has an aching back.  Ronny Cedeno has a bad hammy.

Even the Cub's strength and conditioning coach was not immune to pain, though in his case it didn't involve pain of a bodily nature. And it ended pretty well too. You see, a bunch of Cubs got together and pulled a prank on Tim Buss.

They smashed up his wife's 1995 Nissan, and left it on the ramp near the right field corner of HoHoKam park, leaving an exasperated Buss wondering what he'd tell his wife. Later, he found out that the players had purchased a brand new SUV for him. All's well that ends well.

I'm almost afraid to ask what's next.

Hopefully a painful spring isn't a harbinger to a painful season. 100 years? Now that one hurts.