Denver Broncos Fans Frustrated with Pigeon Poop-Gate

Denver-area pigeons are annoying the Broncos fans they chose to poop on during games. 

The Coloradoan (h/t Larry Brown Sports) reports fans in the 306 section of Sports Authority Field at Mile High were recently drizzled with droppings and are sounding off on the disgusting turn of events. 

Jeff and Allison Harden were victims and just thought people behind them were messing around. It turns out, someone had grabbed Allison's shirt and alerted her that she had indeed been pooped on.

But they weren't the only victims in this tragedy of somewhat forgettable proportions.

"

She says she wasn't the first. The Hardens say a group of people were hit; one person as many as four times. They used towels to cover their heads. Popcorn bags became drink covers.

The Hardens say they reported the problem to several different people working at the game. Employees told them it's been going on for years.

"

Years...Years!

Well, that makes sense when you consider the stadium is outdoors and there are ubiquitous treats strewn about in the form of discarded food.

This isn't surprising, but still damn gross.

Let me continue by saying I hate pigeons, the d-bags of the animal kingdom.  

They have no purpose. Like that buddy you have who is always stoned and wants to stay on your couch and eat all your Doritos, pigeons really just want to eat your food and poop in your general vicinity. 

Perhaps I am just jealous because that sounds like a kingly existence. 

Jeff Harden continues in what I assume is a very frustrated tone. 

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There's actually a plastic owl. I'm sure they set that up there at one point to deter the pigeons. It's obviously not working. It's a health issue. There's people with drinks. There's open food containers.

"

There is nothing worse than knowing any moment your food might be pooped on. Seriously, just imagine that meal you are eating suddenly gets destroyed by some jerk bird or Bob from accounting. 

That kind of stuff would ruin a day. 

Loving wife and hater of bird feces, Allison, continues. 

"

These were $250 seats. [We're] sitting there trapped in this kind of a situation. Any moment a pigeon [will] poop on you.

"

I love the word trapped in this quote. It makes you feel like the 306 section in this stadium is a scene taken from the Saw series, with each person fearing they are next in line. 

Forget the game, broadcast the stands. 

Suggestions continue to be bandied about. I say they all start cleaning up and doing chores, that seems to get deadbeat friends to leave the house. 

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