13 Worst NBA Commercials of All Time

Sports is one of the easiest outlets for companies to take in order to hock their many products, but the NBA in particular because of the visibility and the recognizability of the players is especially known for selling products.

Some of these commercials are straight-away, dead-center home runs and become instant classics like the Michael Jordan and Larry Bird game of HORSE or Larry Johnson unveiling Gran-ma-ma, and they get stuck in our memories forever.

However, others get stuck in our memories for different reasons. They can be incredibly dull, confusing, disorienting or just have no structure at all, usually leading to mass confusion and general dislike of the commercial.

So, here we have the 13 NBA commercials that leave you with your mouth agape if for no reason but the sheer ridiculousness of these ads.

Kobe's 81 Commercial

This commercial always seemed like Nike was late realizing that Kobe had scored 81 points, and then when they realized that they hadn't done anything with it they just went out and threw a commercial together.

It just shows a snippet from each point that Kobe made with some generic Kobe Bryant quotes accompanying it, with an electronic beat that sounds like it was made by a college kid trying to become a DJ.

Poor effort and poor execution on this one, Nike.

Amar'e's Tall, We Get It

For the most part I have absolutely loved the commercials that ESPN put out for their weekday NBA games that feature some compilation of NBA people in an RV, but this one just wasn't up to standard with the others.

It's usually some comedic or strange interaction between an announcer and a player or coach with a punch-line tacked onto the end, but this one is merely an observation that Amar'e Stoudemire is taller than Jeff Van Gundy, accentuated by a slow-moving driver seat.

The other RV commercials at least got a guffaw or two out of me for the first handful of times that I saw them, this one may have gotten a, "heh!" upon first view and then nothing from then on out.

Spike and Tim

There's the Spike Lee commercial with Michael Jordan, and then there's the Spike Lee commercial with Tim Hardaway—they are quite different beasts.

The Nike commercial with Spike and Jordan is a classic spot starring the greatest basketball player of all time, the other is just a bit confusing.

Spike has the most colorful basketball court anyone has ever imagined and then he has Hardaway showing the people how to shoot, all the while criticizing his shot.

So, they're selling shoes by showing off a guy shooting with poor form in them? I'm just a bit more than confused.

Magic Johnson and 7up

There is nothing about this commercial that makes sense. First we have Magic Johnson putting in a very easy layup to undertones of a song that goes, "Feelin' 7up, I'm feelin' 7up!" as the '80s explode all over the television screen.

He then goes on to shoot a few more easy layups before he has to perform a magic show for all the kids in attendance, at which point he speaks in the most ridiculous voice possible and turns a basketball into a 7up.

Make sense? Great.

Painfully Good

There once was a time when Minute Maid was the official soft drink of the NBA, and because of that, commercials like this one got released.

Patrick Ewing and Dominique Wilkins are playing in yet another run-down looking gym from the '90s and there's only one Minute Maid left. Naturally, they'll have to ball for it.

A few quick shots of basketball things happening and a closeup of someone else snatching the Minute Maid and the game ends, revealing Isaiah Thomas as the soda thief. 

Such a classic spot.

What Should I Do?

This became the root of some of the best commercial parodies in Internet history early on in the 2010 season after LeBron James left the Cleveland Cavaliers.

LeBron is questioning what he needs to do to make everyone happy, and whether or not he should actually care if everyone is happy.

In the end all LeBron needs to do is shut up and play basketball, and that alone would probably rehabilitate his image more than anything else.

The Big-Head Ballers

I don't dislike all of the newer commercials that the NBA put out plastering big heads on the bodies of players with moments from the past, but this one where they plaster guys faces on top of The Turtles as they sing "So Happy Together" is too strange even for me.

Among the creepier parts there's Chris Bosh's "Hey ladies" face, Carlos Boozer holding a trumpet in pain, Steve Nash screaming while playing guitar and Shane Battier swiveling and bopping followed by Benny the Bull playing drums.

Kevin Durant from the Past

I'm a big fan of the NBA's "Where Amazing Happens" commercials, but the ones they made last year where they go back in time and confront future superstars is just a tad strange.

First, all they do is add in some old fellow to what seems to be home videos from Kevin Durant telling him that he's going to be playing for a team that doesn't exist yet with players he's never heard of.

However, the strangest part of it all is the fact that Durant doesn't say a word to this guy, he just kind of laughs him off and turns away. And you know what, you can't really blame him for doing it. There's some crazy man telling him that he's going to play basketball for a fictional team, what's up with that?

Look Who's Shopping at Food Lion!

I'm not sure which is more unbelievable; the notion that Michael Jordan is shopping at Food Lion to save a few bucks or the idea that he is at Food Lion in the first place at the height of his popularity and he's not being mobbed like the Beatles just landed in New York.

Anyway, this is another classic cheesy '90s commercial that assumes basketball players carry out average, everyday tasks just like the rest of us.

To top it off, Jordan is caked in Coke gear and finishes the commercial by seemingly stealing a head of lettuce.

Vlade Without a Neckbeard?

Here you'll see the old formula for any commercial that a company wanted to involve a moderately famous NBA player.

Obviously, Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson and Larry Bird couldn't sponsor everything, so some companies had to settle for the likes of, well, Vlade Divac, A.C. Green and Mychal Thompson.

Basically the plan was to throw a few semi-recognizable basketball players into a commercial, have them demonstrate the product and then end it with a cheesy joke.

Nema problema.

Magic and Spicy Hot Chicken

There are three things that I can't believe in this commercial, and Magic Johnson spitting fire at a basketball, leading to it flying through the hoop is the most believable occurrence in this commercial.

After that there's the idea that Magic is sitting down after a pick-up game with some random dudes to enjoy a bucket of KFC while still in that gym. I feel like he'd want the comfort of home to settle down and enjoy his chicken in peace.

Finally, how spicy can chicken from KFC really be? Surely not so spicy that Magic refuses to share with the nameless ballers in the commercial for their own protection.

One Six-Footer Scottie Can't Handle Alone

It's the early '90s, so why not have a commercial ripe with sexual innuendo?

Here we have an everyday scenario as Scottie Pippen dribbles lightly in what seems to be a high school gymnasium with a few Chicago Bulls cheerleaders cheering on his dribbling. What comes next? Scottie discovers a six-foot sub standing vertically in the middle of the court, of course.

He then drops the classic lines that he may have rehearsed twice before they shot this commercial, "This is one six-footer I can't handle one-on-one. Ladies, let's have a party." Cheesy smiles all around.

Of course, they finish the commercial sitting cross-legged on the ground eating a sub, followed by Pippen dunking a basketball that turns into a sub. God the '90s were great.

A Michael Jordan Slideshow

I think I put together a powerpoint presentation in seventh grade about Michael Jordan and all the great things he did throughout the '90s, and apparently Nike decided to use it as a commercial.

The spot is just a generic psuedo-inspirational soundtrack placed with some of Jordan's greatest moments and pictures.

What exactly does that demonstrate?