Dropkicks, Jealousy and Coping with March Madness Madness

Don’t listen to them. No matter what every college basketball fan tells you over the next few weeks about how “your” sport doesn’t have a playoff, force back the urge to hit them in the jaw with the nearest blunt object. If this taunting persists, however, then perhaps you can reconsider this gentleman’s pact and proclaim your love of formulas, misguided Harris Poll voters and corrupt BCS bowl CEOs all while you orchestrate the world’s most pristine public dropkick. 

I’m not encouraging violence by any means, well, not really, but simply readying each and every college football fan for the onslaught of college football insults that will take place on social media outlets and in bars across the country over the next few days. These comments will begin flying in when the first buzzer-beater takes place or a Cinderella team makes a long run into the Sweet 16 and beyond. You cannot run from these senseless bashers unless, of course, you avoid your computer altogether or perhaps your friends are simply nicer than mine.

First and foremost, don’t be that guy (or gal). If this is indeed your intended course of action, close the page out immediately and go tell each one of your acquaintances how marvelous your bracket is for the 18th time instead. I’m sure they’re truly interested in your upsets and all your recently-acquired knowledge of San Diego State’s underrated post game. Note: They Are Not.

The football offseason is difficult enough as is, and having to deal with these regurgitated jabs is a pointless flex-down that strays from the moment itself. Second, comparing football in any capacity to a 68-team bracket where 48 games are played in a matter of four days is a pointless exercise. If college football attempted such nonsense, there would be full-body casts distributed after each quarter and far too many hungover fans to ever attempt such an exercise again. College football fans tailgate better than basketball fans. That’s not an opinion, my friends, it’s science.

This yearly tradition of the hardwood always brings about these unwelcome reminders that college football is indeed lacking a formal playoff at the moment. Our championship game is decided by voters —many of which refuse to stay up and watch a Pac-12 game because it clashes with their sleep pattern—and a computer that analyzes certain criteria to create one final game to decide a champion.

There is no perfect system to decide a champion, yet college football’s playoff imperfections seem a bit more glaring. Although getting this champion appropriately is still a work in progress, we still love college football because it’s college football.

I would be lying, however, if I said that basketball’s bracketing madness didn’t make me at least a bit envious. The hoopla, the coverage and the excitement that surrounds the first four days of the tournament is truly unlike anything we have in sports. It breeds the unexpected to a degree that we rarely see in any other outlet. I’m certainly not going to be abandoning my cozy college football recliner for a brand-new sectional constructed with thousands of Digger Phelps’ glow-in-the-dark ties, but I will take note and take in what happens over the next month. It’s impossible not to.

The comparisons between college football’s final act and college basketball’s big finale surface this time each year because many feel obligated to compare the two. Bringing these two together because of a lack of touchdowns or one big three-pointer in a big situation, however, does absolutely nothing to strengthen an argument. Nor should one ever be made.

Is college football doing it right at the moment? Absolutely not, and a playoff system of some kind is imminent. This implemented system will still receive its fair share of criticism regardless of what makes the final cut, but it will still be much better than what is in place now.

College basketball, on the other hand, has talked about opening the flood gates to 128 teams and only recently expanded to 68 over the past few years. Although there’s absolutely no reason they should possibly expand beyond what they have now, they also recognize that there’s plenty more money to be made.

Regardless of the sport, there are rarely more than five teams in a given season that warrant championship consideration. This is especially the case in college football, and typically dominance can be found within the top two or three teams. The difference is basketball allows for any of these teams, along with many, many others, the chance to compete for a championship once their regular-season resume has come to a close.

A college football playoff is indeed on the horizon, most likely to take some sort of form in 2014, and four teams (the likely scenario) will have the opportunity to duke it out in a bracket that pales in comparison to what we’ll see this weekend. It will never have the same four-day hysteria that is generated from college basketball, which is a realistic approach and fine by me.

At least it will save us the playoff snark for a few weekends in March.