J.R. Smith to Knicks: 5 Funny Predictions as Smith Brings the Crazy to NYC

J.R. Smith will soon be a member of the NY Knicks, bringing a wealth of scoring ability and some very intriguing extracurriculars. 

It's about to go down. 

Judging by what we have learned about crazy basketball players, we can extrapolate a few predictions about former Nuggets star J.R. Smith as he suits up for the Jeremy Lin All-Stars. Sorry, I meant to say the NY Knicks. 

Smith's family includes a sister who loves to box in the stands, so you know she may make the list of possible things that might occur at Madison Square Garden. 

We also know that Smith himself has a propensity to get a little happy with shooting the ball. Consider him Kobe Bryant without all that messy clutch factor and legendary talent. 

Smith is a good player who will make the Knicks better and deeper, but more importantly, he will make them fun. 

The barrel of laughs is about full, so we dive into the realm of the completely plausible with this breakdown of the Knicks' future. 

I bet you thought things were a bit bonkers when some scrub began putting the franchise on his back and railed off seven wins in a row. 

Well, you haven't seen anything yet. Forget Linsanity. Things are about to get Smith-Sane. 

Hmm, not sure I am doing that right. Whatevs, away we go. 

5. WWE Comes to MSG

J.R. Smith had a wonderful time in China as he half-played basketball and half-watched his sister box with just about every person over there. 

As CBS Sports reported in late January, things were going from bad to worse in China for the sister of J.R. Smith. She was in her second fight during the star guard's stint in the Chinese Basketball Association. 

But hey, everyone loves a boxing sequel. For the third in the epic series, things will have to be moved to MSG where her brother will be playing for the season. 

His sister doesn't take kindly to heckling, so I am sure that New York fans will accommodate when Smith goes on a brick-laying tear. Bring your boxing scorecards and get Harold Lederman on the phone, we should have a main event soon. 

4. J.R. Smith Hits Game Winner

J.R. Smith never met a shot he didn't like. Wait, let me rephrase that. J.R. Smith never took a shot that he didn't think was blessed by the gods the minute it left his hands...

Better. 

Smith's confidence is somewhere between George Clooney on a date and Kobe Bryant playing one-on-one with Troy Murphy. 

I love the guy because he loves himself. 

I see him somehow getting the ball with a couple of seconds on the clock and instead of dishing it to Carmelo Anthony, Amar'e Stoudemire or Jeremy Lin, he dribbles out the clock to take a last-second shot. 

And he will make it. 

3. J.R. Smith Chucks Up Kobe Bryant Amount of FG Attempts

Sometime after that game winner he wasn't supposed to take but somehow made, Smith will be enjoying what we sane people like to refer to as delusions of grandeur. 

This is about the time that Mike D'Antoni should rip Smith from the game, possibly benching him for a week. The problem is that you never know when this guy is going to start chucking up basketballs like it's an arcade and he is trying to beat his high score. 

2. Somebody Will Be Selfish

Oh yeah, at some point somebody on the Knicks not named J.R. Smith will be called out by J.R. Smith for not getting J.R. Smith the ball. 

Likely candidates center around the players who should actually be shooting the ball with regularity. It may not happen for a few weeks, but after a horrible loss to the Bobcats, Smith will utter something in a locker room interview like, "I just think I need to get the ball more in order to be effective."

You could probably measure how well the Knicks are doing at the moment by how grand Spike Lee's eye rolling gesture is. 

It will be at this moment that Mike D'Antoni's face will look like it is melting clean off his head. The usually folksy D'Antoni may actually drop an F-bomb to a Howard Beck question in a postgame interview. 

I can't wait. 

1. J.R. Smith's Next Tattoo Will Be Hilarious

I always put J.R. Smith as the underdog of tattoo artistry on a team filled with ink lovers. You simply can't be the most well-known player with ink when Kenyon Martin is rocking lips on his neck. 

Now that he is on the Knicks, it's time for Smith to shine and the possibilities are endless. He could get a lower back tattoo of him and Jeremy Lin holding hands, kind of like Jordan Farmar's tat. 

He may even get a similar one to LeBron James' epic blast of self confidence. Instead of "Chosen 1" Smith could go with, "Already Chosen," "Still Deciding" or "Shoot First, Ask Questions Last."

Whatever he goes with, I am sure it will speak volumes about his time in New York, which is sure to be memorable. Erase everything you have on your DVR, because you will need the room. 

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