Trust me. The Tim Tebow drinking game demands it.
Yup, such a thing exists.
Courtesy of ChicagoNow.com, here are the five rules for the Tim Tebow drinking game:
5. Drink every time an announcer uses any form of the word "win" to describe Tebow.
Drink warning: High. You'll likely be feeling buzzed before kickoff.
4. Drink every time Tebow's lack of accuracy is mentioned.
Drink warning: Moderate. Announcers will mention it, but not as much as they mention Tebow's winning ways.
3. Finish your beer every time Tebow points to the sky.
Drink warning: Low. Tebow doesn't find the end zone all that often.
2. Finish your beer every time Tebow's name is used as a verb (i.e. "Tebowed" or "Tebowing").
Drink warning: High. New Tebow verbs are being discovered every day.
1. If any player strikes the Tebow pose (aka Tebowing), the last person to strike the Tebow pose must finish everyone else's beer.
Drink warning: High. It's going to happen, so you better be ready.
I'll speak for myself and say that the very idea of playing this drinking game scares me. Were I to play it, things could conceivably be worse than the time I played a Star Wars drinking game that required one to drink every time a lightsaber was turned on. The final scene of Attack of the Clones was a killer.
But hey, how can you not venture to play a Tim Tebow drinking game? It's awesome a) because it involves Tim Tebow and b) because sports drinking games are relatively rare in the grand scheme of things.
For example, I can only think of a couple good ones off the top of my head.
The most recent of the bunch was the drinking game that was devised for the 2012 BCS National Championship Game, the rules of which can be found on KegsnEggsBlog.com. It entailed things like drinking every time Les Miles clapped and the Honey Badger was mentioned. It's a good thing it didn't call for a drink every time LSU gained a first down, as it would have been a pretty boring drinking game.
The game also called for drinks when Brent Musburger said certain things, but Musburger actually has his own drinking game. You can find the rules on SI.com, and you'll find that it essentially consists of drinking every time Musburger utters one of his famous Musburgerisms. I played it once, but I had to call it quits when I tripped over my coffee table midway through the first quarter.
For the HBO crowd (i.e. the non-regular-ass TV crowd), there was the drinking game devised for the 24/7 series featuring the New York Rangers and Philadelphia Flyers. According to Yahoo! Sports, it called for drinks when John Tortorella used the F word and two drinks every time a player used the F word in another language.
I'm probably forgetting some pretty awesome sports-themed drinking games, but you get the point. It's not every day that a good one comes to light, so we should cherish the Tim Tebow drinking game while we have it.
If I have one piece of advice to give regarding the Tebow drinking game, it's this: Hydrate. The Tebow hype machine will be operating at 100 percent all day on Saturday, but it will ramp up even more as soon as the Broncos and Patriots reach the fourth quarter.
You're going to want to conserve your energy. Tebow will be looking to come through in the clutch, and so will you.