Stanley Cup Finals: Didn't Alex Burrows or Patrice Bergeron Go to Kindergarten?
On the surface, this seems a heinous crime. Biting is considered beyond the pale in hockey.
And that is saying something, as this is a sport where you can hit someone in the face with a stick, and just get a two-minute timeout.
I'm going to go off on a bit of a tangent, so please bear with me.
I have a four-year-old daughter. When she was little, I had to teach her not to bite people. I imagine that is a fairly common lesson for parents.
I also had to teach her not to stick her fingers where they don't belong, otherwise they were liable to be pinched, bitten or otherwise hurt.
I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this if you watched the video.
Yes, Burrows did bite Bergeron.
If Burrows is suspended, I can't argue that it isn't deserved. Two wrongs don't make a right.
What will happen to Burrows?
But a lot of people are overlooking Bergeron's role in this in their haste to castigate Burrows and calling for him to be suspended for the rest of the finals.
Bergeron had his gloved fingers shoved into Burrows's mouth before the infamous bite.
A facewash is one thing, but shoving your fingers down someone's throat or trying to fishhook them is verboten just like biting.
And why is that?
Because when you shove your fingers into someone's mouth, their natural reaction is to bite down.
So, is the bite worthy of a suspension?
I don't know, as this will be the first test for Brendan Shanahan as the new head of supplemental discipline.
However, I'm pretty sure I know what Shanahan, no Lady Byng winner himself with 2,489 career NHL penalty minutes, would have done if an opponent shoved a finger in his mouth during a scrum.
Maybe he'll throw the book at Burrows and suspend him during the Stanley Cup Finals. Or maybe he'll just fine Burrows and send him a copy of Teeth are Not for Biting.
We'll find out on Thursday what our new head of discipline thinks of the matter.
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