Manchester United Transfers: 10 Strikers Fans Should Ask Santa for This Chrimbo

It is the season of Christmas cheer, a time when anything seems possible.

In football much-maligned managers will slip into the winter solstice with the weight of the world slapping them across the back of the neck, and Christmas will ease their troubles. Goal-shy strikers will enter the festive break, and for a few days at least be at liberty to forget their day-job woes.

For the fans though, Christmas and its connotations of dreams expectation and fulfilment brings a different facet to the season. It brings a time when hopes and dreams, that are otherwise dismissed as idle folly, gain a semblance of form. “You know what, Lionel Messi just might sign for Bradford this year." Well, you know…

As a Featured Columnist for Manchester United here on Bleacher Report, I see it as my duty to pen Sir Alex Ferguson's Christmas wish list—or my own interpretation of it anyway—and cite 10 strikers Santa might be putting under the Theatre of Trees this year.

“Sir Alex is making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s trying to find out which strikers are naughty or nice, some of them may well be coming to MANCHESTER town, oh yeah, strikers in MANCHESTER town, oh yeah”

Disclaimer: Even in my delusional mind and even at Christmas, a Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo return is just silly. Sorry to be a killjoy.

Ezequiel Lavezzi: Napoli

The first of two Napoli strikers in this list, Ezzequiel Lavezzi is a full Argentinean international.

A fairly small 5’8", Lavezzi has endeared himself to the Partenepoi fans since his '07 transfer with a series of live-wire goal-scoring displays.

Signed for a fee of £6 million, after Napoli’s promotion back to the top flight, Lavezzi’s stock has grown in tandem with his club’s as the Azzuri reasserted themselves as Serie A heavyweights once again.

The only obstacle I could envisage to the deal would be the lack of requirement at United for a player in the Lavezzi ilk, with the combination of Roon-arito already at the club.

A very good player but I feel the need for his services at a club such as Arsenal for example would be slightly more pertinent.

Fergie’s stocking rating: 5/10

Fernando Llorente: Athletic Bilbao

In contrast to Lavezzi, at a gargantuan 6’5", Spanish international Llorente fits United’s physical striking specifications to a T, with the only drawback of a Rooney-Hernandez-Welbeck attacking triumvirate being their distinct lack of height.

Luckily Llorente’s talent with the spherical ball matches up to his physical prowess, as he seized the mantle of the poster boy of the proud Basque club.

With 70 goals in 200 Bilbao appearances in the past six years—this for a perennial upper-mid-table achiever—Llorente’s goal-scoring stats are also impressive.

The main issue that would seek to put a kibosh on the transfer deal would be the reticence of Bilbao to sell their most marketable asset and fan favourite. However, at 26 and with a strong desire to challenge more regularly for a starting international spot, maybe, just maybe heads may turn.

Fergie’s stocking rating: 8/10

Fernando Torres: Chelsea

Only at Christmas season, huh?

In all truth though, United fans’ aspirations for Torres’ signature are not all that pie-in-the-sky. Woefully short of form, and with a manager who is refusing to play him as a result, both player and club could certainly benefit from a change.

Bad players aren’t spawned from good players' stead. Players like Torres don’t just lose their talent, this is a man struggling to live up to his exorbitant price tag—a man stuck in a rut, low on confidence and in need of reinvigoration.

There is the slight issue of a £50 million fee just two years ago, however, and Chelsea’s inevitable reluctance to make too high a loss on their investment.

Yet as the old adage goes, “form is temporary, class is permanent." Sir Alex Ferguson would help Torres re-find his form.

Fergie’s stocking rating: 9/10

Hulk: FC Porto

It’s not too often that a mainstream footballer can be compared to a Marvel Comic hero and the comparison can have enough reticence to stick—well, when I say not too often, I mean once.

Then again, Hulk, a player who has spent the entirety of his seven-year professional career either in Portugal or Japan, doesn’t really tread the path well-trodden.

His goal-scoring record has been impressive whereat he has been, but at Porto Hulk has really come into the forefront of mainstream vision.

His hugely athletic, muscular build, by which he gained his green alter ego, is really fairly unique in the English game, where his intense physicality would fit in superbly.

However, with a £100 million release clause, Porto are most certainly in the driving seat on that one, but then again it is Christmas…

Fergie’s stocking rating: 8/10

Pato: AC Milan

With a combined attacking force of Zlatan Ibrahimovich, Robinho, Alberto Gilardino, and the young Pato, it is fair to say that AC Milan have a ridiculous surfeit of attacking talent.

Of the foursome, Pato, with youth and potential on his side, is the most tantalizing prospect.

The “Duck," his nickname in deference of the literal translation of “Pato," has been capped almost 20 times for Brazil, alongside Santos’ Neymar creating a powerful insight into the samba king’s future.

Like Lavezzi, however, my only ostentation to a potential Pato deal, apart from the inflated price, would be the similarity to those already on the roster.

Fergie’s stocking rating: 6/10

Edison Cavani: Napoli

Edinson Cavani, along with the mercurial Marek Hamsik, is the true star of the Partenepoi.

A more recent acquisition than his compatriot Lavezzi, Cavani is quite a different player to the Argentinian too.

Standing 6’2" and with a scoring record of two in three since his arrival from Napoli’s Serie A rivals Palermo, it is hardly surprising that the Etihad vacuum cleaner has made enquiries.

Two-in-three strikers are a rare breed these days, and when a man comes along with a facet his game (aerially, hold-up play) that your team is lacking with not a single striker over 6'0", hands should be snapped off.

Although, as with all quality Cavani would not come cheap; a transfer at around £25 would be a shrewd acquisition.

Fergie’s stocking rating: 9/10

Iker Muniain: Athletic Bilbao

Both the youngest player on this list, as well as the second Bilbao player, Muniain has the potential to usurp all his contemporaries. Blessed with a delightful attacking repertoire and quick instinctive footballing brain, at only 19 years of age Muniain has already cemented a Bilbao starting spot.

The young Basque national became the club’s youngest-ever goal scorer in 2009, when he netted aged just 16 years and seventh months old.

Hidden behind the Basque shield as he is, rumour on Muniain in England is at a premium, but if anyone is to penetrate Bilbao’s ostentatious façade, who better than England’s most successful club?

Plan: Send in Bebe on a covert mission to capture Muniain, and then if he is kidnapped it's no big deal. Either that or pay a lot of money…your choice Sir Alex…

Fergie’s stocking rating 9.5/10

Klaas Van Huntelaar: Schalke

Huntelaar is a player who has been on Sir Alex’s wait list for quite some time now. He left Ajax for Real and then went on to AC Milan where he failed to live up to his hype and was allowed to leave to ply his trade in Germany for Bundesliga side Schalke.

Blessed with very good finishing abilities, good hold-up, aerial and technical play, Huntelaar is the quintessential striker. However, with two underwhelming periods in two different leagues with two different “big” clubs, his very top-class pedigree is understandably under question.

Yet back at Schalke, in his “comfort zone” Huntelaar has added to his amazing 76 goals in 92 Ajax appearances with a highly impressive 20 in 36 for the German outfit.

The question this festive season is, “Is Huntelaar worth one more punt?” I say yes (if you were asking).

Fergie’s stocking rating: 8/10

David Villa: FC Barcelona

I really can't see that I would have to justify why Manchester United would want a player of Villa’s quality to everyone, so instead I will justify why I feel it is feasible.

At Barcelona the stratospheres are set such that all other players are Lionel Messi’s subordinates. Villa, it has been widely acknowledged on the rumour mill, has had trouble playing the inevitable second fiddle.

While for the moment a united front is being maintained, Messi will always be Barca’s No. 1 priority, no matter what. If they had to choose one or the other, Villa’s feet wouldn’t even touch the floor.

Added to this the constant roving eye of Pep Guardiola whom, through the savvy purchase of Alexis Sanchez this past summer, has already restricted his striking slots, and a Villa replacement could be sourced.

All this, under the severe delusion of a fan at Christmas, confused by magical enigma that is Santa Claus, combined with the prospect of my favourite current player leads me to the assumption that…Manchester United will get David Villa.

Let me have my dream, man…

Fergie’s stocking rating: 10/10

Mario Gomez: FC Bayern Munich

Mario Gomez, Robin van Persie aside, is the most in-form striker in world football, after setting a blistering pace for FC Bayern this term and leading the scoring charts.

After a difficult start to his Bayern career after his switch from Stuttgart, Gomez has found his feet in a big way as he profits from the glut of chances that are created by the creative genius force that is the Ribery, Robben, Schweinsteiger combination.

In the spirit of all that is festive and with good will to all men, however, I would like to take this man away from Bayern Munich and not give him back. A Christmas present, if you will.

That would do nicely…

Fergie’s stocking rating: 9/10