WWE: Why Roddy Piper Should Be the New RAW GM

Mike Adamle, the laptop computer and John Laurinaitis. 

What do those three things have in common? They are all awful general managers of Monday Night RAW. 

Adamle sucked because he was completely out of touch with the WWE product, the anonymous RAW GM was no good because a freaking laptop computer was running things and Laurinaitis stinks up my screen every Monday night because he has the charisma of a desk lamp. 

It’s time for the WWE to make a change, remove Laurinaitis from his position as interim general manager of RAW and give that spot to someone that the WWE fans might actually want to see. 

Someone like “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. 

The WWE Hall of Famer appeared in the opening segment of last week’s episode of RAW for a “Piper’s Pit” show with John Cena, and he basically called out Cena for saying that he isn’t affected by the way the crowd boos him despite the fact that he’s the company’s top babyface.

The gist of the segment was for Piper to assess Cena’s mental state and see if he’s finally getting pissed that a big portion of the WWE Universe hates him.

Piper did an excellent job during the segment, showing that fire and emotion that made him so successful and earned him his spot in the Hall of Fame. And I loved watching him go toe-to-toe with Cena on the microphone. 

In fact, as the segment went on and Piper continued to call out Cena, I thought to myself, “Man, we’ve got to see Piper more often.” 

Then, another thought came to mind: Why not make him the permanent general manager of Monday Night RAW? 

Though I think it’s too soon to have someone like Shawn Michaels or Edge in that role—largely because fans will still beg to see them wrestle—Piper is 57 years old, and fans aren’t exactly pining for him to get in the ring. At the same time, however, they see that credibility that he would bring to the GM position. 

Obviously, Piper is a former wrestler, a WWE Hall of Famer and one of the most well-known names in the business. Whereas someone like Adamle has had no direct influence on professional wrestling, Piper certainly has. 

Most fans know who he is, they know the impact he’s had on the WWE and they can see that he actually is worthy of a position of such high power like the RAW general manager. Given all the experience that Piper’s had in the wrestling business, we fans can take him seriously as the boss of the WWE’s top show. 

That certainly hasn’t been the case for Laurinaitis, who is a former wrestler but not one who had a ton of success or one who many people know. We cringe every time the guy gets on our TV screen because he is just beyond terrible as an authority figure and lacks any charisma whatsoever. 

You think we’d be saying that about Piper? Hell no. 

Hot Rod is one of those rare wrestlers who can be a huge babyface or an incredibly hated heel, and thrive in either role. And the primary reason for his successes both as a bad guy and a fan favorite all center around his great abilities as a talker. 

Though he sometimes goes a little crazy out there, Piper is one of the best mic workers in WWE history, someone who shows a real genuine emotion every time he cuts a promo or appears in a backstage segment. And—now, correct me if I’m wrong here—but I believe that the primary job of the RAW general manager is to run that show. 

He makes matches, he intervenes in disputes, he mediates contract signings, etc. In other words, the RAW GM does a lot of talking, and it’s important that he comes across as believable when he does so. 

Laurinaitis doesn’t do that. Never has. Never will. 

But Piper has. Always has. Always will. 

Ousting Johnny Ace from his spot as the RAW general manager is like dropping your ugly girlfriend and replacing her with the hot girl who’s lived next door to you for the last 10 years. She’s always been there, she’s always looked good and she’s always been an option, but you just never realized it. 

That’s what Piper has become: a perfect option for the WWE GM position that’s always been there, but hasn’t really been given much consideration. 

Now that Piper performed so well the last time he was on RAW, however, maybe WWE officials will do the smart thing and give him a permanent spot as the show’s general manager.