Premier League: The Most Cataclysmic Manager-Player Pairings

We often look at the stars of our game with disdain for their nauseating narcissism and separation from the real world.

Managers, on the other hand, are often viewed as the counterbalances for these fragile egos. It often takes the hard-grafting men in track-suits to clip them round their diamond-encrusted ears and keep them on an even keel.

But often it can be the managers who spark conflicts and who need to be monitored. Just look at Jose Mourinho, who blurred the line between "the heat of the moment" and assault when he tried disconnect Tito Vilanova's eye from its socket.

If that example isn't enough to convince you that those on the sidelines are even more uncontrollable than their players, then how about Brian Clough? This is a man who instigated a fight with Roy Keane and came out on top.

It's clear that madness can come from both sides of the white line. Here are some of the most potentially explosive relationships in the Premier League today.     

Joey Barton vs. Neil Warnock

Joey Barton may have left Newcastle United, but chances are we'll see him in black and white stripes again—only this time within the confines of Her Majesty's Prison Service.

Handcuffs and court appearances are by no means alien to Barton, a man who has more arrests than England caps.

On the other side of the QPR ring is Neil Warnock, hardly the most reserved character in the dressing room. Warnock is well known for having a big mouth and short fuse—therefore sparking a potentially explosive clash of personalities.

Who'd Win in a Fight: Neither man would back down and both are true scrappers, but ultimately I can't get over Joey Barton's disgraceful flop as Gervinho stroked his face earlier in the season. Therefore I'll take Warnock on principle.    

Adel Taarabt vs. Neil Warnock

If an exhausted and battered Warnock could overcome Joey Barton in a scuffle, the first thing he'd probably have to deal with would be an outraged Adel Taarabt questioning why all the attention wasn't focused on him or why he wasn't included in proceedings.

Warnock has spent the best part of a year damning his temperamental midfielder for his conduct on the pitch whilst fighting to keep him at Loftus Road. It's only a matter of time before this relationship becomes untenable.

Who'd Win in a Fight: I've got Warnock winning by default. After some verbal abuse and a bit of shoving, Taarabt would storm off to the bus stop, murmuring under his breath and punching the walls.

Warnock would be 2-0 and could publicly demand a fight with Floyd Mayweather Jr. Mayweather, however, would inevitably feel his unbeaten record under threat and downplay such a proposal.

Carlos Tevez vs. Roberto Mancini

Even as mouthwatering as Warnock vs. Barton/Taarabt would be, it's nothing more than an undercard bout compared to the grudge match between two guys who just plain hate each other.

Who'd Win in a Fight: Here's how I see it playing out: Mancini arrives four hours early, the adrenaline coursing through him as he impatiently prepares for the Argentine's arrival.

Tevez would arrive an hour late, warm up (for once), and then the fight would be moments away.

The two would slowly approach each other. The crowd would be on the edge of their seats, thinking of all the hell-raising possibilities that await. However, as the two finally meet face-to-face, Tevez suddenly freezes, proclaiming he misses his children too much.

The striker would turn his back and frantically head back to Argentina, leaving his dignity in Mancini's pocket.

Mario Balotelli vs. Roberto Mancini

Mario Balotelli is the most entertaining man in sports—and that's before he even steps onto the pitch. As long as the Italian can keep his madness confined to playful anecdotes and not court testimonies, I'm all for the striker's antics.

Mancini needs a new pet-hate with Tevez refusing to stand and fight. Who better for the Italian to turn to than his fellow countryman?

Who'd Win in a Fight: The two would meet at the Etihad Stadium before a sellout crowd. The problem is that Balotelli has said beforehand that he'll take care of the pre-fight entertainment.

Just minutes into the Italian's elaborate pyrotechnics display, the crowd and participants are scrambling for the exits as the ground goes up in flames. Balotelli, however, stays on the pitch to video it.

When City owner Sheik Mansour hears of the events, he barely bats an eyelid before launching construction of the David Silva Stadium immediately. Meanwhile, Balotelli is given a hefty community service sentence at a fire station before being discharged within days for hose-based antics.

Craig Bellamy vs. Kenny Dalglish

Where Mario Balotelli is playful and charismatic, Craig Bellamy is completely unstable. The journeyman is so ready for a fight career, he already has the nickname "The Nutter With the Putter."

Kenny Dalglish is the kind of guy who doesn't take any criticism lightly and, with his proud Glaswegian background, would never shirk the opportunity to get his hands dirty.

Who'd Win in a Fight: Bellamy and Dalglish are both content with a no-holds-barred, anything-goes scrap in a back alley on Merseyside.

Bellamy starts strongly against the Scot, using his traditional "putting methods." Dalglish, though, with John Arne Riise on loan from Fulham in his corner, is able to thwart the Welshman's attacks before finally overpowering his opponent to claim a famous victory. 

Wayne Rooney vs. Sir Alex Ferguson

These two seem pretty content for the time being, but there is history: Rooney previously demanded a transfer, fearing a lack of trophy-winning opportunities—before realising that Manchester United were top of the Premier League at the time.

Ferguson has previously clashed with a number of his players, including David Beckham, who he famously injured with a boot, and Roy Keane, who he eventually ran out of Old Trafford.

Who'd Win in a Fight: Looking at this from afar, it seems like a fairly easy decision: Sir Alex Ferguson is a 69-year-old man. However, don't underestimate the influence of the great elder-statesman of football.

A disgruntled Rooney storms into his manager's gloomy office in a confused rage as Ferguson sits calmly at his desk. With Rooney demanding fisticuffs, the Scot calmly rises to his feet and clicks his fingers. Steve Bruce, Paul Ince, Mark Hughes and other Ferguson disciples slowly appear from the darkness and unemotionally carry Rooney, screaming and writhing for his life, out of the office.

Ferguson pauses, sits back down and continues working.