Bottoms Up: If WWE Superstars Were Beer

They're two of our favorite pastimes, watching professional wrestling and drinking beer.  Sometimes we like just one or the other all alone, other times we like to enjoy them both at the same time.  But what if WWE and beer was combined a little bit more?

OK, sure, this is a ridiculous premise, but what beer best represents the superstars of WWE?  Which mixture of water, hops, barley and yeast matches up with your favorite superstar?

Here's a list of 10 superstars and the beer that matches up best with them.  I picked mostly well-known beer to keep it entertaining for as many fans as possible.  

Thanks for reading, enjoy!

Kane: Red Dog

Big Red Monster, meet Red Dog.

While Kane's nickname is obviously a comparison to one of Miller's newest brands, Red Dog, I see a much more striking resemblance in the logo.  Although Kane is a human and the logo is of a dog, doesn't it look like they are making the same face?

Red Dog, much like Kane, was popular when it was still relatively new to the scene, but it has since faded into obscurity.  However, it has been popping up more recently, just like Kane did when he won Money in the Bank and eventually the World Heavyweight Championship.

Christian: Rolling Rock

Christian's history includes a good run with WWE before he jumped ship to TNA, only to return to WWE once again. While he has recently become a World Heavyweight Champion, I don't think that anyone would ever say that he was the best that WWE had to offer. Good, but not the best.

The same can be said for Rolling Rock: It's not the best, but it is good. Rolling Rock has also moved around quite a bit, just like Christian.

Rolling Rock was originally brewed by Latrobe Brewing Company, which was owned by InBev.  Anheuser-Busch then bought the rights to Rolling Rock.  However, Rolling Rock is now back under InBev control.

If that doesn't draw parallels, then I don't know what will. 

Triple H: Budweiser

The King of Kings, Triple H, will one day rule over all of WWE from a corporate level. Currently, he has been one of the most dominant superstars in the past 15 years or so.

Budweiser has been the king of beers for many years and is one of the most popular beers for any occasion.  Whether it's a backyard BBQ, a sporting event or a restaurant dinner, many people go with the ever-popular Bud.  

Naturally, the two are comparable, and they are the first things you think of when you say beer is Budweiser.  The same can be said for Triple H and WWE.

Mark Henry: Dogfish Head World Wide Stout

Mark Henry is known as the World's Strongest Man, so there needed to be a beer that would suit that nickname.

Feast your eyes on Dogfish Head World Wide Stout, one of the strongest beers in the world, topping out at 22 percent alcohol. While there are other beers that have higher alcohol content, most of them achieve that high mark by freezing the beer to concentrate the alcohol, something that many consider to not be a true brewing technique.

So, although this isn't really the strongest beer in the world, it fits, because we all know that Mark Henry really isn't the strongest man in the world, either.

Alberto Del Rio: Corona

I know that it looks like I took the easy route and chose Alberto Del Rio to go with Corona because he's from Mexico. In fact, there's much more to their similarities than that.

People in America get excited and purchase Corona really only during one time of the year, Cinco de Mayo. Other than on that one day in May, Corona is usually passed over for something else. The fans really feel the same about Alberto Del Rio.  Maybe once a year they will get excited for him, but every other day there's just something better.

Undertaker: Pabst Blue Ribbon

What has been around forever, but when it shows up, always gets the job done? If you said The Undertaker, or Pabst Blue Ribbon, you'd be right.

The Undertaker, albeit on a hiatus, has been around longer than any other superstar in WWE. But he is still just as—if not more—effective than many of the other superstars.

Pabst Blue Ribbon Brewing Company has origins that date back farther than Budweiser, Miller, Coors and almost any other prominent beer company. And you can ask anyone, from college student to seasoned drinker, PBR gets the job done time after time.

CM Punk: O'Doul's

CM Punk doesn't do drugs, smoke or drink alcohol, so how could I possibly compare him to a beer? By comparing him to one of the most well-known non-alcoholic beers available.

OK, so sure, O'Doul's does have 0.5 percent alcohol by volume, but let's be honest, CM Punk has probably consumed 0.5 percent of alcohol or tobacco at some point just by being near someone who smokes or by taking some cough medicine.

I'll still give him the benefit of the doubt and call him straight-edge, but I might call you something else if I catch you with an O'Doul's in your hand.

Sheamus: Bud Select

Bud Select 55 is the lightest beer in the world, so what better WWE superstar to match it up with than Sheamus, the lightest, or rather whitest superstar in WWE history?

It's not even just the lightest beer/superstar comparison. Look at the Bud Select logo. It almost looks like it was inspired by Sheamus' red hair. Heck, the photo I threw together in under a minute almost looks like it could be a legitimate advertisement for the beer.

Now if only someone in Ireland could come out with a beer as light as this, we'd have a perfect match for Sheamus.

John Cena: Sam Adams

You don't have to go far in order to find a beer that suits John Cena. Brewed by the Boston Brewing Company, which is located just down the highway from West Newbury, Sam Adams is the perfect fit, but not only because of the location.

Sam Adams offers 12 varieties of beer year-round, and even more pop up on seasonal occasions, each with it's own unique style and flavor. The same can be said for John Cena's t-shirts. Each year he seems to change his shirt three or four times, almost with the seasons.

The Rock: Schlitz

What do The Rock and Schlitz have in common?  The were both at the top of their game for years, only to disappear for seven years, just to return and start to make a big impact, almost as if they had never left.

The Rock has recently returned after a seven-year hiatus to team up with, and then later face-off with, John Cena.  Schlitz has an almost identical story, without the teaming up with John Cena part.

In 2001, Schlitz was discontinued in draft form and was practically impossible to find in a bottle or can.  However, in 2008, seven years later, Schlitz was announced in advertisements and released to the public in many bars, taverns and liquor stores.

Be sure to let me know what you think, either by sounding off in the comments below, or by following me on Twitter (@TheOneTC).