Arsenal: Comparing Gunners (Present and Departed) to the Lord of the Rings

The prospect of silverware can be quite enticing, no?

Ask Boromir, forever captivated by images of terribly wondrous power, which he felt could be his if he could only possess the One Ring.

Ask Arsenal fans, who haven't tasted glory for six years now, if they've grown desirous of silverware—maybe not to that extent, but still. See where I'm going?

That's not at all where I'm going. This slideshow promises to be far more lighthearted than some misguided attempt to prove why Arsenal fans have become overwrought in their quest for trophies, visions of silverware swimming in their heads.

When it comes down to it, I'm as big a nerd as the next kid camped in his basement, poring over the latest World of Warcraft fan-zine. Sometimes I wonder if it's healthy just how much information I retain from the world of Middle Earth.

Anyhow, I thought I'd have some fun comparing Arsenal players both current and recently departed with some of the more famous characters from the Lord of the Rings. I didn't get to them all, and feel free to throw in your own inclusions. That's part of the fun.

Sometimes, the comparisons became eerily familiar. But perhaps that can be chalked up to my hyperactive mind, which thrives upon putting things together, building toward a towering theme.

Back to the topic at hand—without further ado, here's a lighthearted look into the merging of two worlds, their characters and why you should care.

Since I don't have the technical know-how nor the wherewithal to merge two photos together, I figure I'll assume most readers have visual memories of most of the players included.

Otherwise, simply pop open a Google browser and compare. Apologies all the same from my end for this little technologically induced hiccup.

Like Bilbo heading out for Rivendell, every journey starts with a single step—er, slide. Here we go!

Tomas Rosicky: Frodo

My interest in this wholesome topic was first generated when I thought of just how much Rosicky's mug mirrored that of Elijah Wood's (sometimes in)famous representation of the beloved literary character from J.R.R. Tolkien's novels.

Rosicky does bear a striking resemblance to the American-born Wood, and, just to push my literary skills of comparison to their absolute limit, one could say that the two men's paths have followed a (somewhat) similar trend.

The diminutive Czech maestro certainly has no oppressive ring bearing down upon his soul, but injuries (especially that nasty year-and-a-half-long spell on the sidelines) have piled up for Rosicky's psyche.

Just as Frodo once debated whether or not he should continue upon with his inherited task to drop the Ring into the fires of Mount Doom, Rosicky once admitted in an interview with Arsenal.com, shown here on YouTube, that during his blackest bouts—which came hard and fast during his agonizingly lengthy convalescence, he questioned whether he indeed wanted to continue playing.

Sometimes you wonder whether the real Rosicky ever returned from that injury—the one who used to uncork 25-yard missiles like some would-be KGB agent in the Cold War.

Somewhat akin to Frodo, who was never the same after (spoiler alert!) destroying the One Ring. Interesting...

Frodo eventually called in his time on Middle Earth and headed off with the Elves to...wherever it is they went (the Undying Lands? I think?) after the third book.

One wonders whether Rosicky's time at Ashburton Grove and the Emirates (sometimes that playing surface bears a remarkable resemblance to the lush, verdant Shire) is also coming to a close.

Andrei Arshavin: Sam

If you, like me, have sometimes found yourself unable to remain angry with Andrei Arshavin, even after his maddening displays of technical instability, lack of desire on the pitch and overall nonchalance, then you may understand this slide.

Despite his shortcomings, there is a quality to the little Russian (perhaps his funny faces) that makes him ultimately endearing.

Sam messed up more than most (maybe outside Pippin) during the quest to destroy the Ring, but his earnestness and desire to do good eventually won him plaudits. And his comedic timing was second to none at times—something that Arshavin, if you've ever read his advice column on his personal website, excels at.

Arshavin makes an unlikely choice for this slide, but he has always looked better as a secondary player than the leading act, a notion reinforced by his improved displays when coming on as a substitute (compared to games in which he's started). Similar to Sam playing second fiddle to Frodo for most of the way.

Pippin: Jack Wilshere

The inspiration for this whole LOTR concept first struck me wile perusing a postgame analysis of an Emirates Cup match—I forget who Arsenal were playing—back in July '09 by the famed blog...Arseblog.

Jack Wilshere, then a 17-year-old wunderkind in the youth system, had turned in a superb performance that day—one that so impressed Arseblog that he crowned Wilshere "a little hobbit football genius."

Brilliant bit of wordsmithing by the hilarious blogger, but it seemed fitting.

Wilshere's never going to wow anyone with his size (but then again, when did a hobbit ever cause an Uruk-hai to quake in his muddy boots, either?)

Like Pippin—and perhaps more frequently—Wilshere has more than proved his valor in an Arsenal shirt in the most heated situations, while messing up far less frequently.

Barcelona in the Champions League last season was certainly no Battle for Middle Earth, but it was still a cauldron, and in it, Wilshere was phenomenal.

Emmanuel Frimpong: Merry

This one is chalked up to the epic banter between teenagers Emmanuel Frimpong and Jack Wilshere on that thoroughly interesting social medium known as Twitter.

The youngsters always seem to be chastising each other about some new topic every time I cast a glance at my feed. The familiarity is a fitting homage to a cohesion that one rarely finds in a professional atmosphere—if you missed this, have a look (thanks to Metro UK).

Hopefully the two can create a sort of brilliance when playing alongside each other in midfield that Merry and Pippin once provided in the novels and films.

Treebeard: Per Mertesacker

The similarities in height was just too good to pass up.

The 6'6" Mertesacker often looks miles taller than his teammates, similar to the disparity between the Ent's size when compared to hobbits (aka Jack Wilshere).

Seemingly quiet and thoughtful by nature, one could fathom Mertesacker telling a wildly frustrated conversation partner that he "doesn't say anything unless it takes...a...long...time...to...say."

Gandalf: Arsene Wenger

Possessing infinite reserves of wisdom (Gandalf knew magic; Wenger has a degree in Economics and speaks six languages), this comparison always seemed a foregone conclusion.

Le Professeur has long provided a calming influence for Arsenal fans, who have regarded him as the undisputed leader of the organization and a veritable guiding light.

Yet as recent seasons have shown, Wenger is not exempt from second-guessing about his decision, something Gandalf found as well after some of his choices in The Fellowship of the Ring—such as leaving the Ring of Power, the most powerful item on the face of Middle Earth and the subject of relentless pursuit by unfathomably powerful and evil beings—with a three-foot-tall hobbit whose only battle experience came in some half-hearted stabs with Sting in the Mines of Moria.

Still, no one would question his genius. And like Gandalf in The Two Towers, I fully expect Wenger to make his own transformation—perhaps as early as this season with this new-look Arsenal squad—eviscerating all notions of failure in a blinding flash of light, or a cool, calm and collected Robin van Persie finish.

Aragorn: Robin van Persie

For years, Aragorn languished while trying to avoid his true calling as future king of Gondor, forging a wayward path as the darkly mysterious "Strider."

Although perhaps in less poetic fashion, van Persie experienced his own difficulties upon first arriving at Arsenal from Feyenoord in 2004.

The Dutchman was impetuous and oft-injured. It often seemed like those two problems would conspire to rob him of fulfilling his considerable potential and becoming one of the top strikers in the world.

Like Aragorn throughout the LOTR series, however, it appears that van Persie has come to realize that even if he did not at first consider himself a leader, people look to him for guidance during trying times.

At no time has that been more evident than in 2011-12, when an extremely difficult start to the season (somewhat similar to Aragorn leading Legolas and Gimli through treacherous swamp after swamp in The Two Towers) saw van Persie pushed to the limit, with rumors swirling about him pursuing his career away from Ashburton Grove after his contract ended in 2013.

He has come through it, showing a resilience inherent in great leaders, and now has the Gunners on the right track.

Like Aragorn wielding Elendil, there are few images more menacing than an opposing defender forced to shadow van Persie on the ball in the attacking third.

He has long bedeviled opponents with that bejeweled left foot of his—something he has done with increasing regularity now that he has managed to remain injury-free since January (knocks on wood).

Perhaps all the Arsenal No. 10 needed, like Aragorn, was time.

Or perhaps his qualities as a leader were always going to shine brighter once the last Arsenal captain, Cesc Fabregas, had departed.

Similar to how Aragorn assumed the mantle of leadership for the Fellowship after Gandalf plummeted into the depths of Moria, van Persie has looked every bit the leader we'd all hoped he could one day be.

Boromir: Emmanuel Adebayor

Has there been a former Arsenal player in recent memory (well, maybe Ashley Cole) more maddening than Adebayor since leaving the club?

That full-field sprint at Eastlands to show up the traveling Arsenal supporters back in Sept. '09 aside, Adebayor has swung from one end of the pendulum (I hate Arsenal!) to the other (hey, the past is the past, man) with unceasing unpredictability.

Was there ever a literary character who more fully embodied this oscillation between good and evil?

Boromir, fighting Frodo for the One Ring one minute, only to realize how far he had tumbled from good and returning to try and save Merry and Pippin from the clutches of Saruman's (we'll get to him later) Uruk-Hai?

We've seen Adebayor realize he may have taken things too far in his initial vitriolic complaints toward Arsenal supporters. It was a bit of an awakening, one might say—similar to what Boromir experienced, once he realized his desire for the Ring was an untenable obsession robbing him of his chance to die a good man.

Legolas: Gervinho

The lithe statures and facility of movement of these two notwithstanding, Gervinho often appears to skip past defenders on the wing with consummate ease. It truly is something to watch when he's "feeling it."

Now, while he's nowhere near as clinical in front of goal as the famed elven archer was with his bow (I thought of nominating Henry for this one), he has still shown a burgeoning capacity for precision in recent weeks, both in assisting Robin van Persie three times in two matches and nabbing his own goal (his second in EPL play this season) against Stoke last Sunday.

Haldir: Aaron Ramsey

Who didn't feel their heart skip into their mouth when they witnessed Aaron Ramsey's leg break (tibula and fibula, shattered) under the crunching challenge by Stoke's Ryan Shawcross back in Feb. '10?

Ramsey, though by no means a consistent first-teamer during that 2009-10 season, had shown a propensity to fire in goals (FA Cup against West Ham in Jan. '10) when needed. Like Haldir showing up unannounced to aid in the stand at Helm's Deep, Ramsey was there when needed.

Though he by no means suffered a fate similar to the Lothlorian elf, Ramsey's career was shuttered for a 10-month span, where he was forced to toil in fitness centers until he could make a suitable comeback.

Faramir: Marouane Chamakh

The forgotten man, forced to look for ways to re-ingratiate himself with his father (Denethor—er, Arsene Wenger).

While Robin van Persie as Boromir might have worked better for this bit, there's no denying that Chamakh has cut a forlorn figure since last January, when his form began to dip more precipitously than Bernie Madoff's reputation back at the start of the Wall Street financial collapse.

He looks a broken figure at times during games now, bereft of confidence when his side need him most.

Hopefully he can find some snippet of salvation, like Faramir managed toward the end of Return of the King.

Eomer: Park Chu-Young

Just like Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas discovered in The Two Towers, when they stumbled upon Eomer and his horde of banished Rohirrim by the passage to the lands of Isengard (God, I'm cool), the mysterious man from Rohan turned out to be quite the warrior.

We didn't know too much about the reserved South-Korean Park upon his move from Monaco this past August, but he has shown a wonderful sense of efficiency in front of goal, including his gem of a finish on Tuesday night against Bolton Wanderers in the Carling Cup; the goal was so clinical that some said it reminded them of some of Henry's most sumptuous exploits for the club.

The Korean international faces a limited window in which he can star for Arsenal (he is due to return to South Korea in two years to begin his mandatory military service).

Let's hope he can provide more fireworks in the meantime, and showcase a knack for scoring as brilliant as Eomer once did with his handling of a spear when faced with the prospect of a charging Mumakil. Because after all, sometimes some Premier League defenders (who shall remain nameless) bear an eerie resemblance to that creature.

Gimli: Wojciech Szczesny

OK, the Pole will never rival Gimli in stature (or lack thereof—I thought of putting Arshavin here), but what he lacks in physical similarities, he more than makes up for in his sense of humor and unparalleled sense of dedication once he finds a cause worth fighting for.

Szczesny had threatened a potential departure from Arsenal as recently as one year ago to look for other clubs if he didn't receive consistent playing time—similar to Gimli's reticence to fully ingratiate himself with the Fellowship at first.

But once the Pole made that start against Manchester United at Old Trafford back in Dec. '10, he has never looked back and has become a leader for the club while showcasing some spectacular point-blank reflexes and shot-stopping prowess between the sticks.

One could say the same about Gimli after the breaking of the Fellowship, when the dwarf became a heroic warrior for the cause.

Saruman: Samir Nasri

"Tell me, when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness?" Gandalf asks of his one-time friend during The Fellowship of the Ring (2001 film version).

One wonders whether Wenger asked Samir Nasri, once such a positive element of the Arsenal machine, something similar during those endless summer months, when conjecture of will-he-won't-he-leave-the-club grew into a deafening roar that threatened to engulf the Gunners camp.

In choosing City, Nasri may as well have cast in his lot with Mordor. City literally burn everything in their path as they pursue a player (all that flammable oil of Sheikh Mansour), disregarding any and every living thing in their path. All's fair, but it's not too pleasant to witness.

Sort of like what happened with Nasri's cold farewell tour at the Emirates.

Lurtz: Joey Barton

OK, I went outside the team confines for this one, but could you really associate such unequivocal evil being with any former Arsenal player?

The sneering veneer, the mercenary approach to life—every aspect between these two seemed to fuse perfectly. While Lurtz wasn't nearly as talkative as Barton, opting more for grunts than twittered references to Nietzsche, they both were very annoying blocks to the Fellowship's—er, Arsenal's—progress, particularly this season from a Barton perspective.

Sauron: Big-Spending Clubs

I didn't have the heart to associate anyone in the EPL with such unspeakable evil—the comparisons with evil ended with Joey Barton—but I do feel sometimes that Arsenal can do nothing to shirk this lidless, restless eye continually chasing them as they attempt to forge on playing attractive football without breaking their proverbial bank, progressing through youth development rather than paying extravagant transfer sums.

Maybe Arsene Wenger's fiscal philosophy isn't as noble a cause as destroying the Ring of Power, but it is an attempt to go against the rapidly growing grain (I loved that sequence in Fellowship the film, where the map of Middle Earth becomes burned as Sauron's forces cut their destructive swaths from village to village—it sometimes seems as if the EPL landscape is in danger of succumbing to a similar fate).

Whether Wenger's policy will have "all been in vain," as Gimli laments at the breaking of the Fellowship, remains to be seen.

For now, Arsenal can still "hold true to each other," as Aragorn instructed Legolas and Gimli, convincing them to follow him in his quest to forge on ahead on the mission.

I could see Robin van Persie doing just that in a pre-match team speech.