Cristiano Ronaldo and World Football's 10 Biggest Ball Hogs

When my Dad coached my U-12 football team nearly a decade ago, he dubbed those players who simply refused to pass the ball as black holes. Once you sent one of them the ball, you would never see it again.

Infinitely more skilled and experienced than average recreational footballers, most professionals are wise enough to know when they should pass the ball on to a more advantageously positioned teammate.

However, there are of course a few players single-minded enough to insist on going in alone and talented enough to actually pull it off.

Since these lads are often responsible for some of football's most sensational goals, we'll give them the occasional pass when their selfishness leads to a cheap loss of possession.

Without further ado, here are football's finest ball hogs.

10. Pedro Rodríguez

Blessed enough to play for both Barcelona and Spain, Pedro is expected to cut inside from his right wing position and finish passes from the likes of Xavi, Andrés Iniesta and David Villa.

No, you're not the only one who thinks that this is the easiest job in world football.

Nevertheless, Pedro takes his scoring role so seriously, that usually won't allow anyone else to intervene

Skip ahead to 1:40 of this video, and you'll see exactly what I mean.

9. Gareth Bale

It's a curious phenomenon, really. Gareth Bale, the man marking him, everyone else in the stadium, everyone watching the game on television, and my two cats know he will only use his left foot.  Nevertheless, opposing defenders seem flabbergasted when he fakes right and then cuts the ball back to his left.

Whether featuring for Tottenham or Wales, teammates are keenly aware of this reality and are happy to feed the spiky-hair winger.

They won't mind not receiving a return ball since the next person to touch the ball will probably be the opposing goalkeeper as he picks it out of the back of the net.

8. Souleymane Coulibaly

Perhaps better labelled "ball magnet" than "ball hog," Ivorian prodigy, Souleymane Coulibaly, has re-discovered the lost art of poaching. Entirely incapable of passing, and unwilling to do so, Coulibaly gobbles up every loose ball rolling around the opposing team's box and spits it into the back of the opposing team's net.

Recently signing with Tottenham, the 16-year-old striker will eventually provide manager Harry Redknapp with a major upgrade over wannabe poacher Jermain Defoe.

7. Zlatan Ibrahimović

Brought to Barcelona in 2009 to provide the Catalans with a legitimate target man, Zlatan Ibrahimović was sold for failing to become an out-and-out ball hog.

With Ibra failing to feature prominently in two critical Champions League semifinal matches against Inter Milan, exasperated manager Pep Guardiola inserted center half Gerard Piqué into the center forward position.

Quite amazingly, Piqué looked much more comfortable up top and managed to net after fooling Inter keeper Julio César.

Rest assured, Ibra has since proven himself a more than capable ball hog after scoring a respectable 21 goals for AC Milan last season.

6. Arjen Robben

Another winger known for his single-minded approach, Robben similarly continues to fool defenders despite refusing to use his right foot. 

He makes the list ahead of Bale because if you happen to catch onto his routine and stop him, he will hit the ground and cry foul in dramatic fashion.

Consistently threatening to either score or draw a foul, Robben's uncharacteristic inability to capitalize from either of two break away chances in the 2010 World Cup Final ultimately cost Holland their biggest victory ever.

5. Manchester City's Entire Frontline

Considering I don't have enough room in this presentation to list Carlos Tévez, Mario Balotelli, Sergio Aguero and Edin Džeko separately, I've decided to lump them into one slide.

Even with so many of the world's top ball hogs, Manchester City still looks lifeless against the top European sides.

I'm not quite sure if I should feel sorry for manager Roberto Mancini for having to deal with such stupidity (as seen above) or hold him accountable for this poor behavior.

A Red Devil, I think I'll just point and laugh.

4. Hulk

Remember what I said in the introduction about being single-minded enough to always go for goal and talented enough to pull it off?

Hulk was the player I was thinking about.

Essentially a left-footed version of Cristiano Ronaldo, the Brazilian can play on either wing or as a center forward. Always looking to score, Hulk, along with Ronaldo, is one of few players who can legitimately score from up to 40 yards out.

As a result, his teammates are happy to allow him to zig zag wildly across the pitch and unload shots from ridiculous position.

Committed to Porto at the moment, Hulk will hopefully move to a major club in a bigger league where he could more prominently showcase his fantastic ball-hogging skills.

3. Cristiano Ronaldo

Despite rising to become one of the finest players in the history of football, Ronaldo has a disappointingly negative influence on his teams. Insisting on always having the ball and occupying the center forward role, Ronaldo stifles his teammates' finer qualities.

In his final season playing in England, Ronaldo did lead United to a second consecutive Champions League Final. However, Man U traveled a rather uncertain path which ultimately ended in a one-sided defeat to Barcelona.

Specifically, United won only two of their group stage matches despite featuring against less than impressive opponents Villareal, Aalborg BK and Celtic. Somehow winning the group, United would go on to score only nine goals in their final seven Champions League games.

For a team that also featured Wayne Rooney, Nani, Carlos Tévez and Dimitar Berbatov, most fans would have expected far more goals and a more convincing performance in the final.

Leading a new generation of galacticos at Real Madrid, Ronaldo has still not managed to inspire his team to a meaningful triumph over Barcelona.

2. LeBron James

As part owner of Liverpool, LeBron James actually qualifies for this list.

Similar to Ronaldo, James is one of the finest to ever play his sport. In addition to scoring at a ridiculous rate, James also plays fantastic defense and shells out his fair share of assists. 

However, also like Ronaldo, his dominant presence seems to stifle his teammates who consistently defer to him in important situations. While he excelled playing for the Miami Heat alongside fellow superstar Dwyane Wade, he still lacks the Jordanesque ability to involve his teammates while still scoring at will.

1. Cristiano Ronaldo's Dog?

A picture says a thousand words, but a video says a million.