February 6, 2008: The Basketball Apocalypse

I encourage you to listen to REM's (or Riddlin' Kids cover of) "It's the End of the World as We Know It" while you read this.

Or "American Pie," but you need to sing "The day basketball died..."

Welcome to today's illogical events:

1. The Matrix is swapped for the Big Aristotle.

Does this mean the complete end of the Suns' Run-and-Gun? The Heat suddenly have the potential to be really good with Marion, Wade, and a top three pick in next year's draft.

The brightest spot in the whole deal is the amped-up Suns/Lakers rivalry. Over the last two seasons it has become one of the greatest match-ups in the NBA and now you bring Shaq back but in some new digs—that could be fantastic. 

2. EARL WATSON?

Triple double for Earl Watson, are you kidding me?

23 pts, 10 boards, 10 assists (plus two takeaways, and a block, with a three from downtown).  Oh, and on top of it he shot 75 percent and didn't miss a freebie. 

3. The Suns and Hornets go to double O.T. 130-132. 

Chris Paul ties a statistical achievement that hasn't been done since MJ: 42 pts, nine dimes, eight steals. Nash statistically does something that hasn't been done since Stockton: 32 pts, 12 dimes, ten turnovers (but since it involves ten t.o. it's not quite as nice of a feather in the cap.) 

And none of the superstars are the hero of the night, because Peja makes the game winner with less than a second left on the clock.

4. The Hawks manage to off the new found Mega-Lakers. 

In that game, a rookie named Horford gets 20 boards. In the same game, Josh Smith shoots 63 percent for 17 points, nine boards, nine assists, two steals, and five rejections—which for him doesn't count as the end of the world, but it's still really freakin' good and he deserves credit.

If nothing else, J-Smooth shooting 63 percent is pretty unusual.

5. Dirk also gets a triple-double with 29 points, 10 rebounds, and 12 assists. 

Which I suppose, only the fact that he got more assists than rebounds is a shocker.  Actually, the assists at all are pretty shocking. I once heard during a game that he only passes one in four times the ball touches his hands.

How about this for a shocker, of all the players to get a triple double tonight, Jason Kidd wasn't one of them and he did play today.  I wonder what kind of action Vegas odds-makers would have given me against that happening...

6. Zach Randolph gets three 3-pointers tonight!

I swear to God he did, and he still managed to shoot above 50 percent. 30 percent of his three-pointers for the season came in tonight's game. (But the Knicks still lost so don't worry, we will all awake to find the world still intact in the morning.)