College Football 2011: 28 Bold Predictions Heading into Week 5

As we head into Week 5, we have another batch of insane predictions to make. I'm going to throw a bunch of things at the wall and see if they stick.

Per usual, I expect you all to riot in the comments because few who read this site seem to be able to recognize sarcasm.

Let's take a look at 28 Bold Predictions for Week 5.

ASU's Brock Osweiler Corrects Grammatical Error in Tattoo

ASU's QB Brock Osweiler has an awesome tattoo. Have you seen it?

"Live Life To It's Fullest."

His tattoo artist is apparently a copywriter for Old Navy on the side.

Unfortunately, in his new tattoo, another error is made.

"ASU beat's USC."

You sure did, Brock, but you're not going to win any academic awards.

Football Game Ends in Ro Sham Bo

We've had triple overtimes. Hell, we've even had seven overtimes (though not this season). We had a game played in the middle of the night after weather delays.

The next wacky ending?

Teams play for so long that the game ends in a Ro Sham Bo showdown between the head coaches.

Maryland Fires Randy Edsall, Hires Mike Leach

Randy Edsall is not winning fans in the Terps fanbase. Losing to Temple will do that. They run him out of town this week while simultaneously ushering in the Mike Leach era in College Park.

Indiana Stuns Penn State

Indiana has long been at best mediocre in football, while Penn State is a recognized power program.

All that shifts this weekend when the Hoosiers upset the Nittany Lions.

Pac-12 Referees Call 243 Personal Fouls Against Players

The former Pac-10 was not known for having the sanest or most rational of referees in college football. That tradition continues in the new Pac-12; notably, USC's T.J. McDonald was slapped with a number of personal fouls that had no basis for being called.

That's just one game last weekend.

Drunk with power, expect it to get worse this week.

UTEP Upsets Case Keenum and Houston

UTEP is by no means a powerhouse and is not expected to fare well against undefeated Houston.

However, the Miners pull off the upset.

SMU Upsets TCU

Stranger things have happened, but few expect the Mustangs to beat the Horned Frogs.

Funny thing is, they will.

Akron Zips to a Win vs. Eastern Michigan

The Akron Zips are pretty hapless with their 1-3 record. Somehow they find their footing this week and beat Eastern Michigan.

Andrew Luck Will Throw Three Interceptions

UCLA doesn't stand a chance (unless I deem it so in another bold prediction later in this slideshow), but Stanford leaves the door open just a crack when wunderkind QB Andrew Luck throws three inceptions.

Of course, the Bruins don't manage to score on any of them, but that's not the point.

Notre Dame's Brian Kelly Throws Tantrum on Sidelines

Coach Kelly isn't the coolest cucumber in town, but this week at Purdue, the number of idiotic mistakes the Irish make causes the head coach to melt down on the sidelines.

It should be very entertaining to watch.

Nebraska Pulls out the Ol' Fumblerooski

Nebraska made the fumblerooski famous. In their first big matchup as members of the Big Ten, the Cornhuskers pull out the classic move in an attempt to topple the Badgers.

Oregon State Upsets ASU

Oregon State is winless; however, don't count it out just yet. ASU will stumble after its "big" win over USC, and the Beavers will shock the nation in their upset of the Sun Devils.

Arkansas Gives Texas A&M a Good Ol' SEC Welcome Party by Beating the Aggies

Arkansas officially welcomes Texas A&M to the SEC by beating the pants off the Aggies.

By the way, if you haven't read "User's Manual: A Guide to the SEC for Texas A&M," you are missing out. It is not only hilarious, but awesomely accurate.

Ball State Shocks Nation in Upset of Sooners

Remember Appalachian State-Michigan?

When Ball State upsets Oklahoma, it will become the biggest upset in history.

Excessive Celebration Call Loses a Game

Dumb rule. Only a matter of time, folks. Seriously. Dumbest rule in the history of college football.

It Is Revealed Robert Griffin III Is Actually a Transformer

Baylor's Robert Griffin III has unreal stats on the season.

He's 70-of-82 for 962 yards with a completion percentage of 85.4. 962 yards. Thirteen touchdowns. The man is a robot. This weekend, that will be proven.

Bowling Green STUNS West Virginia

Just a week after falling to LSU, the Mountaineers are shocked by Bowling Green.

Lane Kiffin Ditches the Visor

Lane Kiffin's visor is so ubiquitous, it has its own Twitter account.

This weekend versus Arizona, Kiffin ditches the visor.

The Buffalo Bulls Beat Tennessee

I'm sorry. The Buffalo Bulls just tickle me. But hey, you know what? They will beat Tennessee.

Kentucky Knocks LSU Down to Size

LSU is riding high and will be taken by surprise when Kentucky stuns the nation in its upset of the Bayou Bengals.

Towson (FCS) Shocks Maryland

Maryland fans are already calling for the beheading of Randy Edsall after the Temple loss. When the Terps fall to local foe Towson, an FCS program, Edsall's days grow numbered.

Bethune-Cookman Stuns Miami in Triple-OT Thriller

No one is expecting Miami to cough one up against FCS opponent Bethune-Cookman.

Which is why this is a Bold Prediction, people. (Do you get it now?!)

Due to Technical Difficulties, the Olympic Flame Fails to Light

The Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum is home to USC football and was the site of the 1932 and 1984 Olympics. In the fourth quarter of every USC game, the Olympic torch is lit at the beginning of the quarter.

This week, for whatever reason, the torch fails to light.

The UCLA Band Will Rush the Field

Not paying attention, the UCLA band will think they won and rush the field.

Minnesota Beats Michigan

Whatever. Minnesota, rallying behind coach Jerry Kill, knocks off the Wolverines.

Rice Upsets Southern Miss

It could happen—and if it does, it would be a BOLD PREDICTION, right? (Sarcasm, people, get it?)

UCLA Upsets Stanford

I know I am contradicting myself. Ask me if I care. I don't. The Bruins beat the Cardinal.