Happy Thanksgiving to Bleacher Creatures

This is not exactly my favorite time of year. Why you ask?

It's almost the end of college football. I am officially in mourning next week. Sure we'll get all the bowls, but honestly, this is it. Three months and bam! Done.

Did your team fulfill all your dreams? Probably not. Maybe? Too early to tell? Yes?

Not sure where my team is going to end up, but hopefully, it will have a fruit, party, sweetener or flower in front of the bowl name. Thanks to the BCS, those are really the only bowls that really have relevance in college football any more. I'm hoping for the party name, but will probably have to settle for a flower. Life's tough sometimes.

In honor of Thanksgiving, and my foul mood, it's time to hand out the annual Turkey Awards. Those persons who have messed up a good thing, made a bad thing worse, or just plain don't have a clue.

The Turkey Award List:

Lou Holtz. I actually think Lou is a pretty funny guy, but dang, using naughty words and then the dreaded "Hitler" word on two separate broadcasts gets him a drumstick.

Michael Vick. Now he pleads guilty after lying to the Feds? He's still a low-life. But there are some teams who could use him. Whoever selects him gets a Turducken.

Lee Corso. Have you seen the ESPN commercial where "Tommy Trojan" is doing push-ups in front of the Coliseum? Afterwards, Lee turns to "Tommy Trojan" and calls him by the name, "Tommy Trojan." Here's the problem, the Trojan warrior who rides Traveler is an unnamed Trojan Warrior. Same for the marching band leader. Why is it, the World Wide Leader in Sports doesn't know that? Tommy Trojans is a statue on the campus, not the dude riding Traveler. Nice job, guys.

Manny Ramirez. Sure you're funny Manny. Except when you can't catch a ball, then flop to the ground, fall on top of it, and you can't tell where the ball is. Amusing, but not very professional.

Cam Newton. Well, Cam, there goes your shot and playing QB at Florida, because you are going to the pokie. Just how smart are you when you steal a laptop, then sign in on the stolen laptop using your real school screen name? Duh.

NASCAR. The sexual discrimination suit was bad enough, but not lowering the ticket prices in this tough economy to compensate for the huge petrol expenses all those RV'ers have when traveling to races was just ludicrous. And now, you have massive lay-offs. How fitting.

The Detroit Lions. Do I really need to justify this?

Al Davis. Al should get a turkey thrown at him for firing Kiffin, and then throwing him under the bus by threatening to not honor his contract. He is the most nauseating owner in the NFL. Let Amy Trask run the Raiders.

Roger Goodell. For giving Adam Jones another chance. Again.

Jerry Jones. For taking Pac Man Jones.

Charlie Weis. D'oh.

Rich Rodriguez. We knew the team wouldn't have a great season, but we did actually imagine the Wolverines would show up for games. Seriously. Worst season ever? Congrats.

Bobbie Bowden. For agreeing to schedule two FCS schools because of all the suspended players from the academic scandal fall-out. That's a great way to teach other players not to cheat- if you cheat and get suspended, we'll make the schedule easier so you won't incur a loss as a result from the suspensions. Brilliant!

John Daly. The PGA's most powerful swinger has made a buffoon out of himself. What a waste of talent.

The LPGA. First they demand that everyone speak English when the best players are Korean. Then they lose money, lose sponsors and cut the purses 5 mil. OMG. Annika, you are retiring at the right time.

Ryan Perrilloux. Despite the fact that he has now laid in his proverbial bed, look at the effect he had on his former-team (LSU) this year. He messed up what could have been another run at the championship. Seriously.

The NCAA. Three years and counting on the Bush-gate scandal. At this point, any sanctions handed down are going to punish players who never even played with Bush. Why should they get punished? Or is that the M.O.? Punish the team, have USC file an appeal based on players getting punished years after the fact, and grant the appeal? It worked for the Sooners.

The BCS computers. They still don't have it right. Bring back the AP.

Finally, to all the Bleacher Creatures, Happy Thanksgiving. I am honored to be part of your community, and honored to be part of the family here. Y'all are wonderful, and I hope each and every one of you gets a contract with a major website. Dreams do happen.