SEC Predictions: Larry's Losers in the SEC Week 4; the Picture Clears

Larry Burton (Syndicated Writer) Last week the pooch and I must have had a vacation of the brain because we had the all-time worst week ever with a pitiful performance predicting problem pigskin prognostications and ended the week with a 6-3 record.

As usual, Houston Nutt proved to be one of our big downfalls as he once again did exactly the opposite of what he was supposed to do. It would appear after their contest with Vanderbilt—the usual cellar dweller in the SEC—that the no Rebel had better bend over in the shower after the game to pick up the soap after showing how much muscle could be mustered while being manhandled by the Commodores.

Likewise, the Kentucky Kitty Cats proved to be a puss in the boots—uh, I mean cleats—by not being able to finish their cupcake schedule without a loss. I didn't see that one coming either.

Lastly, we took a chance on perfection by picking the pooches of a Mississippi persuasion to upset the Bayou Bengals. While it was close for a while, it just wasn't in the cards to have a dog-day afternoon.

So, with three weeks in the books, this awful week brings us down to 26-5 and drove us from an "A" down to a "B," with a dismal 81-percent winning percentage that is lower than we've seen since I started this column years ago.

This week I'm having to fly solo without the pigskin pickin' pooch as he's vacationing in Tavineer, Florida with his brother and I'm sunning southward down in Key West.

What is becoming clear, however, is the haves and have nots in the SEC. So, maybe with the murky mysteries magically clearing, we can get back up into respectability with this week's picks. 

Vanderbilt at South Carolina

Fresh off a rare SEC win, the Commodores will backslap themselves all the way over to South Carolina, where the Carolina Cluckers will rudely slap and peck them back to reality.

Steve Spurrier's enjoying his stay atop the SEC East and he ain't about to let these Song City Sailors from Nashville float into his chicken coop and ruffle his boys' feathers without a fight.

When it's over, you'll find that big peckers can peck through wood and start sending these Commodores to the bottom of the SEC East.

Larry's Loser: Vanderbilt

Florida at Kentucky

Last week the joke was on Joker Phillips; his Wildcats were exposed as just playful pusses by being downed rather dreadfully by a bunch of cross-state Birds.

Meanwhile, the rascal reptiles from Gainesville gobbled up gobs of Volunteers before turning their attention to the Tabbies up blue grass way.

One's still in fightin' mode while the other is still in full-blown retreat. It ain't hard to guess who'll wind up the winner in this one.

Larry's Loser: Kentucky

Georgia at Ole Miss

Lately, neither one of these teams have been high steppin' in the SEC and one will leave this game with at least a small swagger in their step by downing an SEC opponent.

Houston Nutt is working on wearing out his welcome in Oxford—just as he did up in hog heaven a few years ago—with last week's lousy, laughable loss against Vanderbilt. He'd like nothing more than to transfer the heat from his butt to Mark Richt's by stealing a win at home against these bruised-up Bulldogs.

Thankfully for Mark Richt, this is one SEC opponent that should help his awful average of SEC wins and losses. At least this week, maybe every story about Georgia won't start with the phrase, "Georgia, behind beleaguered coach Mark Richt..."

Larry's Loser: Ole Miss

Louisiana Tech at Mississippi State

Last week, Dan's Doggies proved that while they've come a long way, they ain't come far enough to paddle a premier power in the SEC. But this week, they can rest and lick their wounds while they take on some fellow Bulldogs from Louisiana Tech.

Last week I thought I smelled an upset in the air, but now I realize it was only letting Bacardi eat chili dogs with me a few hours before making our final picks. State showed they could battle with the big boys, but didn't show they could do it for 60 minutes.

However, this week is different. With two losses on the books against just one win, look for that stat to flip in the next few weeks as the Bulldogs regain their confidence.

Larry's Loser: Louisiana Tech

West Virginia at LSU

The Mountaineers come into the contest hotter than a homecoming queen and hope to keep that fire burning with a nationally televised upset of Les Miles' terrific Tigers, subsequently starting their own quest up the ladder of the polls.

But after battling the Bulldogs last week and clawing them into a catatonic condition, the Tigers have learned they can scrap with anybody and come out on top; these mountain men aren't going to terrify these tabbies with a 3-0 record.

When it's all over, those boys from West Virginia won't be shown a whole lot of Southern hospitality; the Mountaineers will have to look elsewhere for some wins against a ranked team.

Larry's Loser: West Virginia

Florida Atlantic at Auburn

After getting their wings clipped by Clemson, these War Eagles hope to get airborne again against anybody they can; fortunately for them, Florida Atlantic is worse than most anybody.

Auburn will struggle now that they've finally had a reality check about just how bad this season is going to be. Their defense—or the total lack of one—finally cost them. Other schools just can't wait to pad their stats against those tuckered out tabbies.

And while the Florida Fowls have proven they're no wise old Owls this season on offense (they've only scored three points so far this whole season), they'll at least pad their stats in this losing effort.

Larry's Loser: Florida Atlantic

Arkansas at Alabama

Bobby Petrino parades the Pigs down to Tuscaloosa to see if these sows have finally matured enough to take on and topple one of the elite powers in the SEC.

But Nick Saban ain't about to be trifled by these truffle snorters and aims to push aside these Pigs with his own pack of pachyderms.

Many think this will be the Tide's first big test, but they've been studying for a while now and this is one test they're sure to ace. If the boys from Troy ruffled the Razorbacks last week, imagine what these stomping elephants will do to their little hoofed half brothers.

Larry's Loser: Arkansas

And that's it for this week, folks. Bacardi and I are going to finish our vacations with lots of good diving, dining and drinking and will be rested and ready next week with another!