Super Bowl XLII: Media Day on Bleacher Report

Well, it's almost over.

In two days, Super Bowl XLR (er...XLII) will begin, and we'll finally know which team prevails.

In anticipation of the big game, fellow Bleacher Report writer Sean MC and I decided to have some fun and create our own private Media Day.

The following are real questions, asked by real people (well...one person)—and I did NOTHING to change Sean's answers (as far as he knows),which he emailed to me last night.

What's the biggest mystery that came out of the past week?

Sean MC: The biggest mystery that came out of the past week is Richard Seymour’s feet. I’m cool with being comfortable with your masculinity, but showing off your manicure and pedicure is a little hard for us Patriots fans to fathom.

I mean, we already need to deal with our franchise quarterback getting his picture taken holding a baby goat and looking all metro-sexual. Now we need to explain away our big defensive lineman’s well groomed feet?

Do you know how hard it is to show my face in a New York city sports bar with all this stuff out there?

Bryan Thiel: Well, my biggest mystery happened from when that girl in the wedding dress was running around asking people to marry her. Two things came from this:

1) Tom Brady said: "I've got a lot of Mrs. Brady's," making every man in North America a little more jealous, yet proud of the Pats QB. But then Brady says "I'm a one woman man". Which one is it Tom?

2) Eli Manning told her he was taken. This inspired me to go on a quest to determine by whom. Well upon locating this information (Wikipedia: Eliminating door-to-door salesmen since 2001) Eli is engaged to Abby McGrew, his sweet heart from Ole Miss.

What's more shocking however: Eli goes antiquing in the offseason with his mother and fiancee. And THIS is the quarterback leading you to the Super Bowl?

If Mark Walberg shows up, the Giants are doomed. 

Who's your X-Factor for the Super Bowl?

SMC: If the Patriots win, Kevin Faulk. If the Giants win, Justin Tuck.

My guess is that the Giants are going to try to throw the house at Tom Brady. Expect Faulk to make his presence felt in the screen game, the dump-off game, and the pass blocking game.

If the Giants win, they’ll need to get to Brady. The Patriots will take away the primary guys, so look for someone like Tuck to have his chances in the Patriot’s backfield.

BT: Heading into the game, I have to agree with Sean on Kevin Faulk. There are just so many things that this guy does well, and Kevin is dangerous anywhere on the field. I think he'll be used as more of a decoy earlier on, but if the Giants don't stay close to him, he could come alive and burn them.

As for the Giants? Steve Spagnuolo. The Giants offense could have a shot if they strike early and often, but they'll only have that shot if "the Sponge" (I'm trying a new nickname out for him, seeing as he's only being mentioned once in the column we'll stick with this) can get his defense to stop the Patriots offense. 

Which team has the most momentum heading into Sunday?

SMC: It’s fun to play the whole “The Giants have the momentum” game, but we seem to be forgetting that the Patriots haven’t lost a football game in over a year.

Over a YEAR.

BT: Interesting scenario here as both teams have had a week off. But is there even momentum anymore, or is it just motivation?

Think about this however: The Pats have had two bye weeks-week 10 and the Wild Card Playoff week—and we all know where their record stands. The Giants have had one bye week (Week Nine) and they lost 31-20 to Dallas coming off it. Needless to say, it'll be interesting.

Which is the bigger question mark: Brady's ankle or whether Eli can stay hot?

SMC: When your Quarterback is Eli Manning, you ALWAYS have the biggest question mark. Eli Manning is this season’s Rex Grossman. Whenever you hear someone say “He’s been playing so well, he hasn’t killed his team in WEEKS” it means one of two things: he’s arrived or he’s due.

I choose to believe Eli is due…

BT: Eli may be due, but I still believe that Matt Cassel is out to get Tom Brady. I saw nothing of him during media week which makes me nervous. If Cassel hires snipers to pick Brady off in the ankle over the next few days, then Brady is the question mark; if Eli misses Seinfeld and is forced to go antiquing at 10:30pm on Saturday night, it's Eli. 

What is (or could be) the biggest distraction for the players?

SMC: I’m fully expecting Tom Coughlin’s head to explode while yelling at an official at some point this week, which I’d imagine would be a little distracting to the Giants.

Short of that, the Patriots are undefeated and the Giants play in New York. I’m not sure anything COULD distract either of these teams.

BT: Really? I didn't think Coughlin's head could explode, I just thought that was a masking device in case he ever had to hide amongst Egg Plants at a supermarket.

As for biggest distraction? Well I'm setting up another interview between Jim Rome and Jim Everett, and I'm hoping that spills out onto the field and Belichick is forced to punch out Michael Strahan in the ensuing brawl with a clip board. 

How long before Tom Petty takes his shirt off during halftime?

SMC: Sorry, what was the question? I’m having a hard time concentrating right now. As I write this, the Garnett-less Celtics have a two point lead over Dallas with four minutes left.

BT: Is Tom Petty still headlining? I definitely thought Tony Romo was taking care of that now.

I mean, isn't this the greatest scenario ever? Tony Romo will continually blow playoff games for the rest of his career so that he can make the Super Bowl as the half time entertainment, while each year dating a different music..."superstar".

I mean everyone wins-Romo goes to the Super Bowl, we've got a hip young music act that everyone will like, and the Dallas Cowboys will never go to another Super Bowl (Ok, it's good for everyone except Cowboys fans). Hell, T.O. could even start rapping like Shaq!!

Give me six minutes, I need to make a phone call to my agent to make this happen.

(Also on YouTube is the Tony Romo-Soulja Boy remix. This is possibly the most annoying song ever, but it's funny to think of how he's choked two straight years and they haven't taken this down yet.) 

How much money are you putting on this game?

SMC: Let’s put it this way, if my kids want to go to college, they better hope the Patriots win by 14 points.

BT: You would steal my answer. I guess it's in my best interests though because if I wrote "my kids won't go to college" my mother would have a heart-attack. I'd also like to be done college before I have to worry about paying for my children's tuition.

Let's just keep the theme of my mother going in this (I'm going to pay for this one... anonymous comments here they come!) and say her Mothers' Day present may not be that extravagant.

Which is bigger: The gap in Strahan's front teeth, or the implications of Buress' prediction?

SMC: Strahan’s gap is fantastic. Did you ever stop to wonder exactly what could get stuck in that gap?

Like I get little strings of steak stuck in my teeth. He could conceivably get an entire slice of steak stuck there. Small animals. Children.

That said, the Patriots love it when other teams make predictions.

BT: Sean I love where you went on this, but let's go one step further:

Imagine if you will, that gap on Zinedine Zidane's face. Then imagine him head-butting Marco Materazzi and Materazzi's head getting stuck in that gap.

What kind of effect is the weather going to have on this game?

SMC: Who put together these questions, anyway?

The breeze from the air conditioner might cause Belichick to catch a cold after the Gatorade shower.

BT: Fine, don't talk about how the warm weather may help the Patriots passing game or that Randy Moss likes playing in warm weather better than cold, or that Tom Coughlin could get sun burnt instead of wind burnt. Just go ahead and rip on the questions.

I'm out of here, I think I'll go work on my duets CD with Romo. 

Bryan Thiel and Sean MC are writers for the Bleacher Report. They're both columnists, but Sean leads slightly with two more articles.

Sean can be contacted through his bio and you can also read more of him in his archives.

Bryan has a bio and archives too, but he's also the single and available writer of the two.