WWE: The Predictability of the Push

"May I have your attention, please?"

Before I say what I am about to say I want to remind you that I love you all, and mean no offense by the following comment. It is important for you to remember that.

I would like to tell you all what you already know...

Wrestling is fake!

I know, I know, I'm sorry... I really am.

Wrestling, in all retrospect, is athletic modern theater. Theater that is pre-scripted and rehearsed for our viewing enjoyment; And just like all our favorite sitcoms, cartoons, "reality" shows, and TV dramas, it sometimes becomes more and more predictable as each episode airs. 

Criminals will always get caught in CSI, "impossible" diseases will be cured on House, roommates will argue and fist pump in the Jersey Shore, Jennifer Lopez will want everyone to win on American Idol, and wrestlers will always win in the midst of their "push." It is the nature of the predictable, and in my opinion ruins all the fun.

Here are two questions I am asked frequently:

Why does wrestling have to be fake?

Well, the only answer anyone needs to that question is simple.

It would be horrid to watch if it wasn't.

I'm all for amateur, Olympic-style  wrestling, but not when it's done by the likes of John Cena and CM Punk. They are performers who "tell a story." They deliver to us the spectacle, drama, laughs, story arcs, athleticism, and the general emotional ride we covet from professional wrestling. If you want athletic competition with no decided outcome then turn the channel to ESPN, or a UFC match.

Why does wrestling have to be predictable?

Here's the beauty of that answer. It doesn't.

For example: Mark Henry (being pushed) vs. The Big Show

Winner: Mark Henry

Sheamus (being pushed... yay!) vs. Mark Henry (was being pushed)

Predictable winner at Summerslam: Sheamus

That's roughly two of a hundred examples from the past six months. Whoever is getting the proverbial "push" is going to win... but why?

If someone gets a raise at work, that doesn't prevent them from having bad days. Cy Young Award-winning pitchers have terrible outings, NBA All-Stars shoot 5-of-20 from the field, and Tim Thomas turns into Swiss cheese every now and then. Sports, by nature, are great because they are unpredictable. 

Zack Ryder has recently gotten a monumental push... but he lost, clean by the way, in one of his first matches. That's fantastic! He should start from the bottom, lose, gain credibility, and form feuds before being given anything. Am I suppose to believe the Long Island Iced Z is all of a sudden unbeatable?

Am I supposed to believe John Cena is unbeatable?

How about now... Am I supposed to believe CM Punk is unbeatable?           

Is WWE just going to replace "Super" Cena with "Super" Punk?

In the apex of the "Attitude Era" the WWE was driven off the unpredictable. There were numerous champions, heels beats faces, and no one was "Super". If you got a push that just meant you won a No. 1 contenders match... it certainly didn't guarantee anything.

Sure, wrestling is scripted, but why do we have to lose the unpredictable nature of sports along with that?

The WWE has seemingly fixed that problem with the recent CM Punk storyline. It has driven both hardcore jaded fans, as well as casual fans back to the table. Why? Because it was unpredictable... which makes it almost real, which makes it fun to watch.

Daniel Bryan winning a briefcase was a tremendous step forward, while Del Rio winning was a minor step back.

Wtih the way the WWE has been of late is it all but assured that Alex Riley is our new United States Champion, right?

Let me ask you all a question:

If your favorite wrestler starts to lose, do you abandon the wagon or does it make it even better when they win?

If your answer isn't the latter then you were never a fan at all.

Will little kids burn their John Cena shirt if he goes on a losing streak? Perhaps.

Will it make him more human? Yes.

Will more fans be inclined to root for a human character and be enthralled by an unpredictable match? You better believe it.

I know I would gain a lot more respect for Orton and Cena if they lost, clean, a lot more and were shown to be human like the rest of us. I won't even touch the whole Goldberg phenomenon... I never understood that. 

"Hey, here comes Goldberg," and one minute later, "Yay! Goldberg won," as I shake my head.

However, with that said we are all creatures of comfort. We tune into our favorite programs because we know what we are getting ourselves into. We look forward to the same formula week in and week out. We find comfort in the predictable, and things we can "count on."

When the power goes out that sure is unpredictable, but not a good thing, and the same applies to the WWE. I guess all I'm asking for is a curveball to the "push" formula every once in awhile.

In the meantime...

I will wait for WWE creative to give me my "life push"... fingers crossed!