WWE SmackDown Review: June 24, 2011

Hello folks! Welcome to the best SmackDown review on the internet!

It’s been a long week, starting with a three-hour Raw which, in all honesty, just drained me and made me lose almost all my faith in the product I have loved for so long.

I also decided to dip into the genre of breaking news this week, so it’s been a busy one!

But don’t worry, I haven’t deserted you SmackDown fans—I’m still here to give you a review of the action that transpired on Friday!

Teddy Long opened the show, arriving in another one of Mark Henry’s suits. He came out simply to address the "foot-under-the-rope" situation form Capitol Punishment. (Was that honestly only last week?) He then called out Christian, who started moaning for one more chance again.

The segment was so boring I can’t even find the words to describe it. I even looked in a thesaurus.

Anyway, in the end, it was decided that Christian would have to earn another shot by facing Kane in the main event.

I don’t usually like to say this, but at the start of the programme especially, the crowd seemed really overdubbed. I don’t know whether that was just me though.

The weird lighting was used, which told everyone that Sin Cara would win. He executed a wide variety of moves during his match, which really surprised me. He must have read what I said about the danger of him quickly becoming boring.

He made me a believer again.

Sin Cara beat DiBiase with a helicopter arm-breaker thing. It didn’t look like a finisher—let’s just put it that way.

From the Vault followed.

It would have been okay, but why would you put on a Divas match? You’re supposed to be keeping the viewers interest with classic matches WWE, not turning them away!

They probably would have kept more viewers if they’d have put a sign up for two minutes saying “don’t watch this show.”

Wow, I’m a cynical bugger today, aren’t I?

Cody came down to the ring, insulting the crowd due to the town’s chocolate history and heritage.

Daniel Bryan also talked on the way down to the ring, remarking that a cup belongs in one’s pants, not on their face. Go on Bryan!

He brought up a picture of Dusty Rhodes wearing the most horrendous leotard I have ever seen. Bryan was making the point that even though Dusty was ugly, he was a good person.

Bryan was winning at first, but after DiBiase came out to give Rhodes a pep talk, the Disfigured One regained the advantage.

Rhodes picked up a clean win with two of his patented kicks from the second rope—the first of which tangled Bryan up in the ropes.

A paper bag was then placed on Bryan’s head.

Johnny Curtis was then shown presenting another metaphor for the WWE Universe. Where have I seen this before? Oh yeah—they’re ripping off Zack Ryder’s Internet show and handing them to an NXT rookie. Good move WWE.

Next, Matt Striker interviewed Big Show, who showed some emotion and remorse when talking about knocking Mark Henry out. He said he told Henry not to get into the ring. Henry then appeared and speared Big Show right through the interview set.

Mark Henry is one to watch for me now—he has been pretty awesome as of late.

Shortly afterward, Wade attacked Ezekiel Jackson during his entrance for the Intercontinental Championship match. The match wasn’t bad, but it certainly wasn’t a classic. Wade Barrett went for the Wasteland, but Big Zeke reversed it into the Torture Rack and picked up the win.

An interview was then conducted with the World Heavyweight Champion. Randy looked as though he’d had his whole chest tattooed with “Apex Predator,” but it was just a skin coloured t-shirt.

Wade Barrett was greeted by Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel, who just laughed in his face at losing to Big Zeke yet again.

We also saw the Uso’s entrance this week. They did a war dance at the top of the stage. I didn’t see the point when they were the first superstars out.

I seriously think we are slowly seeing a tag-team revival project by WWE.

It’s about the only thing they’re starting to do right.

Sweet Chin Music and I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: Slater is awesome at looking as though he’s just been knocked out. Slater got his knees up for an aerial move and won with a roll up.

Yoshi Tatsu then faced Jinder Mahal in a match that never started. Khali hit him with his fod-slap, followed by the full-nelson slam by Mahal.

Jinder cut a promo, saying Khali had been reinvented and people should recognise the potential of the two Eastern superstars.

It was then time for the main event.

Mark Henry got Christian disqualified—the match was average up until that point.

Teddy Long came out in an even bigger suit to set up a tag match between Kane/Orton and Christian/Mark Henry.

The ovation was ridiculous for Superman II.

Mark Henry was just so dominant throughout the match and managed to hit the strongest slam on Orton—who had just RKO’d Christian—to pick up the win.

Though Christian didn’t get the pin, he is once against the No.1 Contender.

But Mark Henry has pinned the world champion, as has Sheamus.

I call a Fatal 4-Way match for Money In The Bank.

I’ll leave you to ponder that prediction.

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Thanks very much for reading!