College Football Fashion Fumble: The 7 Ugliest Uniforms in the Game

No credible college football fan watches the game wanting to think about uniforms, color combinations, placements of stripes and other fashion-related issues.

However, sometimes the poor choices of others force said enthusiast to change their focus from the play on the field to what the players are wearing on the field.

Not unlike red, blue or purple turf these fashion statements grasp a firm hold on your attention whether you want them to or not, and then they make you wonder.

What statement were they trying to make? Who hit the “OK” or “Approved” button in athletics administration and let millions of dollars be spent on these football kits?

The following slideshow plays the role of “fashion police” and arrests and formally books seven college football uniforms; invoking section 3.11 of the gridiron penal code which reads thusly:

“Institutions of higher learning shall not clothe their student athletes in attire that will draw attention and garner comment that overshadows their noble and righteous play upon the field of honor.”

Hawaii

I personally think Hawaii’s black and green color scheme is pretty cool, especially when they wear the all-blacks.

However, the helmet is questionable with the exotic green “H” and that interesting stripe coming up the middle which is too festive for my taste.

But what takes the Warriors' kit over the top are the pants which have a stripe imprinted on the left leg that seems as if it is supposed to look like a bandana tied just above the knee.

I realize that this is meant to be some sort of “Warrior” marking, which makes sense, but why can’t I stop thinking Def Leppard, Van Halen, Quiet Riot, Ratt and 1980’s hard rock?

Is that a cowbell ringing way off in the distance?

Boise State

While everyone is up in arms about whether or not Boise State should be allowed access to the BCS National Championship, I’m wondering why the horse on their Nike Pro Combat uniform pants is so precariously placed.

Seriously, the jersey is bad enough but what about that horse . . . what is it doing in that exact spot and who placed it there?

Hey Boise State! Hey Nike! Is that any place to put your Bronco? Put that thing away . . .

I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

Wake Forest

Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

PALO ALTO, CA - SEPTEMBER 18: Chris Givens #2 of the Wake Forest Demon Deacons in action against the Stanford Cardinal at Stanford Stadium on September 18, 2010 in Palo Alto, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

Wake Forest is a great institution of higher learning; it was ranked No. 25 in the recent U.S. News and World Report America’s Best College rankings, which is just another bauble in the crown of a school that is regularly ranked among the best universities in the nation.

It was founded in 1834, and smart people go to school there and have done so for almost 200 years.

But why try and shove all that great tradition and academic excellence into your football uniform . . . why stick with a formally fonted “WF” on the helmet and shoulder pads?

Why not update the look of your young men on the playing field, why not utilize the Demon Deacon mascot which is inarguably unique?

And, at the end of the day, why emblazon your football uniform with “WF” in the age of texting?

“WF” makes me the think of an acronym (and it’s not LOL or OMG or even LMAO)—just add a “T” and all the sudden it just ain’t right.

Rhode Island

The official color scheme of the Rhode Island Rams is Keaney Blue, Dark Blue and White.

Notably, the hue of “Keaney” Blue was the invention of the Rams basketball coach from 1920-48, Frank Keaney, who created the color for his team in a chemistry lab.  Keaney (401-124 overall) was an early innovator in basketball and is credited with the modern style of “run-and-shoot” play.

Though you have to appreciate the classic ram styled helmet which can also be found on other levels of gridiron play (the NFL St. Louis Rams, the FBS Colorado State Rams and the Division II San Angelo State Rams) overall the entire uniform, namely the coloring, is borderline noxious.

With all due respect to Coach Keaney, this specific shade of light blue has no place in college football.

Of course there is Carolina Blue (but that is darker and isn’t swirled like a dreamsicle into a helmet) and there once was Houston Oiler Blue (but, if you’re going to be honest that was one of the worst color schemes in professional football history, and I grew up in “Luv Ya Blue” Houston with Dan Pastorini and friends).

Overall, it’s like a Smurf with a helmet and it almost seems fluorescent and I just believe, deep in my heart, that it is wrong.

Wyoming

Well, there’s a lot wrong with the Cowboys' kit as pictured here, and, don’t forget they actually wore this exact uniform last fall.

First, the colors, yellow and brown . . . can you think of other things that are yellow and brown? I’m thinking sunflowers, giraffes, moths and school buses; none of which are necessarily representative of major college football.

Secondly, if you must go with yellow and brown it might be best to stay away from the all-yellows, even for special occasions.

Lastly, why not spell out “Wyoming” on the jersey?  “WYO” is easy enough to figure out but why lead the wandering mind down the path of parody?

Why You Out here?

Was Your Other uniform dirty?

Where’s Your Offense?

What You On?

Was Your Only Top 10 finish in 1967?

Oregon

Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images

GLENDALE, AZ - JANUARY 10: LaMichael James #21 of the Oregon Ducks runs down field against the Auburn Tigers during the Tostitos BCS National Championship Game at University of Phoenix Stadium on January 10, 2011 in Glendale, Arizona. (Photo by Jonathan

If the Ducks don’t make the fashion police report for uniforms then it isn’t officially accepted as a credible accounting of football fashion faux pas.

And so, what do we say about college football’s most diverse, most colorful and most obnoxious uniforms?

For me, the most heinous violation recently committed by the Duck designers is the feathered wing that seems to have replaced the tire tracks that used to grace the shoulder pad area of the jersey.

I was never a proponent of the tire tread, but feathers . . . seriously?

The feathers have almost a Roman or Greek look but if you take it a step further I can’t help but thinking of exotic dancers.

Now, if that’s your cup of tea, then good for you; but this is major college football, which should remain, until further notice by the BCS, feather-less.

Florida A&M

Now, really there is nothing wrong with the color combination of green and orange on a football uniform.

Look at the “U” (Miami, FL) and even the NFL's Miami Dolphins; both have orange and green in their scheme but with one major difference, a “balance color.”

The purpose of the “balance color” is to eliminate the head-on collision caused by combining two strong colors together in a noxious manner.

And that is exactly what the Rattlers do with their uniform; there isn’t anything stopping those colors from coming directly up to you and slapping you right in the face.

Ouch.

So, why is it so tempting to stare at these uniforms, to be fixated on them, to marvel in their glorious presence?

Perhaps because, like a blue field or an all-orange uniform (a color that must be used very cautiously) it demands your attention only because it is different—set apart from the others because of an alarmingly blatant atypical trait.

If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right...