Shaquille O'Neal: 5 People Who Will Be Sad to See The Diesel Retire
For the first time since he entered the league in 1992, the NBA is going to have to make due without Shaquille O'Neal.
In case you missed it, Shaq announced his intent to retire earlier on Wednesday via a short video posted on his Twitter account. After 19 seasons, he's had enough.
Needless to say, Shaq will be missed. In addition to being one of the great centers to ever play the game of basketball, he is arguably the most likeable professional athlete of all time. His charisma is unmatched, and his sense of humor has become legendary.
Yes, us fans will miss Shaq, but I think we can't take it for granted that we won't be the only ones that will miss having him around. After all, Shaq influenced quite a few people in and around the league during his time in the NBA, and things just won't be the same for them now that he's gone.
For brevity's sake, let's take a look at five prominent people that are sad to see Shaq go.
5. Shaq's Agent
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There are plenty of busy people on this humble little planet of ours, but few people can claim to be as busy as Shaquille O'Neal's agent, whoever he or she is.
Indeed, Shaq has always been intent on trying his hand at as many different careers as possible. And to his credit, he has always been pretty good at attracting people with checks and/or briefcases full of cash, leaving his agent with no reason whatsoever to complain.
Until now, that is. Now that Shaq is retired, his agent will be faced with the tall task of squeezing as much money as possible out of Shaq's other talents.
Because Shaq is such a huge star, this should work out okay. But if it doesn't, his agent won't have the NBA to lean on, which could lead to a questionable decision or two.
Like, for example, Kazaam 2.
4. Doc Rivers
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Boston Celtics head coach, Doc Rivers, didn't see a whole lot of Shaq as the 2010-2011 season came to a close. Due to assorted injuries, the big guy saw just five minutes of action in the final two months of the regular season and played just 12 minutes in two games during the playoffs.
Still, Shaq had one more year left on his deal with the Celtics. And given the lack of options that the Celtics have at the center position, it goes without saying that Shaq was very much a part of their plans for the 2011-2012 season.
Well, so much for that. Now when Rivers looks at his depth chart, all he's going to see is Jermaine O'Neal and Nenad Krstic.
That's not a good thing. In fact, the word I'm hearing out of Boston is that Rivers is already wandering the streets strumming the chords of "Mrs. Robinson" and singing, "Where have you gone, Big Aristotle? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Woo woo woo."
For the record, my sources are jerks.
3. Craig Sager
3 of 5Shaquille O'Neal and Craig Sager have had quite a few memorable encounters through the years. The attached video (skip to 1:14) highlights one of the best, in which Shaq famously described Sager's jacket as "horri-awful."
As we all know, this is absolutely true. Sager's fashion sense is the stuff of nightmares and exactly how he gets away with wearing such hideous suits on TV is beyond me.
But hey, they work for him, so why should he give a damn what Shaq or any of his critics think?
Well, my theory is that Sager's wardrobe is actually out of his hands. I'm of the mind that he is being forced to dress like a pimp as a cheap trick designed to attract a few extra eyes. His suits are essentially a sideshow, and his job is merely to prop it up.
If so, honest people like Shaq serve to remind Sager that he is, in fact, human. With a bit of luck, he'll develop the confidence to march into his boss' office and shout, "You see, I told you they were horri-awful!"
Even if I'm wrong about that, Sager still belongs on this list. After all, Shaq was nothing if not a good interviewee and Sager will be one of many missing out.
2. Kobe Bryant
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Shaq and Kobe Bryant go all the way back to 1996, and their relationship is a complicated one, to say the least.
For the most part, Shaq and Kobe got along pretty well in their years as teammates on the Los Angeles Lakers. This was particularly true when they won three championships in a row from 1999-2002.
All the while, though, their friendship was destined for disaster. Even Los Angeles wasn't big enough for the two of them, and it didn't take long for Kobe to outgrow Shaq's shadow. Legendary squabbles ensued.
In 2004, the Kobe-Shaq tandem was finally broken up when Shaq was traded to the Miami Heat, but the two continued to trade barbs.
At the core of their feud was Shaq's insistence that Kobe was never going to be able to win championships without him, a message that he delivered in an infamous freestyle rap in 2008.
Kobe proved Shaq wrong in 2009, and he proved him wrong again in 2010. Now that Shaq is gone, he's going to have to find somebody else to prove wrong.
Well, there are scores of people out there who think Kobe is too old to be as good as he once was. Perhaps they'll do.
1. David Stern
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When David Stern took over as NBA commissioner in 1984, exciting things were happening. Magic Johnson and Larry Bird were in their prime, and a young man named Michael Jordan was just about to embark on one of the most legendary careers in sports history.
Before long, the NBA blew up. With a bit of help from Magic, Bird and Jordan, money poured in from all corners of the world, and the league became something of a global power.
In 1992, Shaq came along, and it didn't take long for him to become the next big thing (pardon the pun). Once Jordan retired in 1998, Shaq took over as the NBA's biggest star. And that means he was Stern's biggest meal ticket.
Shaq's star power has diminished in recent years, but he has remained one of the most beloved players in the league. And because the NBA is now perceived to be chock-full of overpaid, egotistical cretins, it's always good to have beloved veterans from yesteryear around to balance things out.
And now Shaq is gone. Somewhere out there, David Stern is weeping.
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