WWE Raw Review: May 23, 2011

Good afternoon, folks! Oh, glorious day! My exams have now finished, so here is the best Raw review on the Internet. I’m sorry it’s a day late, but that’s revision for you. Let’s get down and dirty.

The same “Macho Man” tribute still was shown before the programme started in another show of respect. It really has hit the wrestling world hard and though I am not old enough to be a fan, I respect that he was one of the best in the business. I’m glad he got another mention for the people who couldn’t afford the pay-per-view.

King came out to cut a promo about his match with Cole. He told us that the long national nightmare is over and Cole is now vanquished—he is going back to the fiery pits, where he will sit and rock before making his return, more evil and diabolical than ever! Okay, he didn’t go that far, but you get my drift.

He introduced the Hitman who came out wearing those awful three-quarter length jeans. I wish he’d just wear some proper jeans. R-Truth showed incredible audacity and interrupted the Hall of Famer. R-Truth is extremely good on the microphone at the moment.

He gave a Little Jimmy Bret Hart’s glasses in the hope of a title shot, then became angry when he knew this wasn’t the way to get it—he took the glasses back. The kid was devastated (he wasn’t really).

R-Truth threatened to beat up Bret Hart who responded by calling him a lunatic. Bit of a mistake when there’s no one there to beat R-Truth, so he can be put in the sharpshooter. We were missing the middle man.

John Cena showed up next. I know he was brutally assaulted at Over The Limit, but did he really have to walk like he’d soiled himself? It looked so unnatural, I mean, he didn’t get smacked in the knackers did he?

Cena tried to be funny and the Raw GM chimed in to announce the main event. Punk and Truth versus Cena and Mysterio. Bret Hart was scheduled to be the guest referee. Little Jimmy got the glasses after all. Hart of gold. See what I did there?

Big Show and Kane were talking by a car. Ricardo came up shouting Spanish at them and got facepalmed.

Funniest. Thing. Ever.

Alberto shouted at them as well, but they just ignored him—he was like a kid vying for attention.

David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty took on Big Show and Kane for the tag team titles.

The crowd was noticeably louder than they were at Over The Limit. They were well into the match despite it being no better than boring. Punk booted Big Show in the back of the head (the referee had been taken out inadvertently) and a DDT from both Otunga and McGillicutty was all it took to steal the tag titles.

I hate double standards. Why is Nexus allowed to get away with stealing titles but Miz can’t? It just angers me.

An interview with two pissed off giants ended with Show being run over by a car. Alberto slapped Show and led him to the parking lot Survivor Series 1999-esque. I couldn’t tell whether this was a bit insensitive given that Randy Savage died from a car accident. Big Show tried to stand up but he couldn’t put pressure on his leg. Kane looked like his favorite cat had run away.

Evan Bourne took on Jack Swagger in what was a squash match. Swagger won with a disgusting gut-wrench powerbomb. I’m not going into any detail with this because it wasn’t a match worth talking about. What followed the match was awesome though.

Swagger was celebrating in the ring and Bourne just kicked him right in the head.

Second. Funniest. Thing. Ever.

Cole was shown backstage making his way to the ring. He went to shake Eve’s hand and she presented her foot. That was supposed to be humiliating but I bet loads of men were envious at that gesture.

Cole came out to bury the hatchet and commentate normally. It’s finally over! Hurrah! King gave Cole some Altoids for his toe breath. I love Altoids. Comment if you’ve ever had Altoids.

The Miz came out and blamed Riley for his shortcomings at Over The Limit. It’s the bloody referee he should be complaining about! I’m not letting it go. He asked the Raw GM for a rematch. Denied.

Then he really laid into Riley, who finally snapped when given his marching orders, and completely owned The Miz. I am a big Miz fan but even I couldn’t help but get behind Riley. “Riley” chants filled the arena and the crowd was mad for him!

I’ve got a feeling he won’t be as popular if he isn’t battering The Miz—we shall have to see.

A Divas eight ma...woman tag match was up next.

The Bella Twins were accompanied by Maryse and Melina, and they were set to take on Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, Beth Phoenix and Eve. The match had only just started and Kharma’s music kicked in. All the Divas in one place—trapped. The concept sounds amazing doesn’t it?

What the WWE proceeded to do was destroy, not only Kharma, but the whole Divas division. Kharma walked into the center of the ring and proceeded to cry. I don’t care if they’re building up for a bigger storyline. All they did there was piss off the crowd and most of the IWC. What a waste.

In the penultimate contest, Drew McIntyre wrestled Kofi Kingston. Drew debuted some new fireworks in his entrance. They were pretty amazing I have to say.

There was a part in the match that looked like a botch you’d find on Tough Enough. Kofi looked like he didn’t jump high enough and Drew just ran straight into them. It made for a good match though, as Drew focused on the knee. Kofi went for the Trouble In Paradise but his knee gave way. He used an alternate finisher and it looked really cool.

I wish Drew would win a match.

The main event followed a very tasteful “Macho Man” Randy Savage tribute. I’ve not had a chance to watch the old tapes of the WWF yet, so I will admit I’ve never seen him wrestle a match—but it was emotional nonetheless.

Punk and Ryan congratulated the new tag team champions.

Everyone arrived for a mundane main event. It really was boring and I’m sorry if I sound miserable but...no, I’m not sorry. The main event flat out sucked. It was predictable Superman BS, and the best thing about it was R-Truth getting the crowd to chant “CM Punk!”

Punk wore Macho Man-style trunks in another fitting tribute.

Punk was really comedic again in his role, and I actually laughed out loud a couple of times. It would have been a good main event had I only seen the 30 seconds I just described.

The crowd exploded when Mysterio was tagged in but Hart spoiled the whole match by clocking Punk, and putting him in the sharpshooter. Mysterio and Cena picked up the win.

I wasn’t happy with this week’s Raw at all. The matches weren’t very good and Kharma was destroyed. It should have been her destroying other Divas. The best thing about the show was commentary returning to normal. At least we have equilibrium on the commentary table.

What did you think? Please let me know in the comments below, I always reply so don’t hesitate to leave your views! For those waiting for Over The Limit review replies, I will reply tonight, but now I need sleep.

Thanks for reading!