The 20 Least-Athletic Athletes in Sports

Faster than a 300-pound man after he sees the Dunkin' Donuts Hot & Fresh sign light up across a parking lot.  More powerful than the warrior trying to down his 15th full plate of food at Old Country Buffet.  Able to eat 100 chicken wings in a single sitting.

Look!  Going through the drive-thru.  It's an elephant.  It's a tank.  It's your favorite athlete!

The nickname "Superman" is occasionally given to an athlete with uncommon, to the point of freakish, physical abilities.  None of these athletes on the list will be referred to by that name, unless it's a joke of course.

None of these athletes could improve your relay team at the local picnic or possibly even beat you in a race.  Still, each person on this list has been able to overcome athletic shortcomings to play at the professional level.

Here are the 20 least-athletic athletes in sports:

20. Brian Scalabrine

Brian Scalabrine is the ultimate 13th man.  

When he was on the Nets, they went to the NBA Finals and they haven't been back since he left.  When he was on the Celtics, they went to the NBA Finals and they most likely won't be back this year without him.  As soon as he goes to the Bulls, they win the most games in the league.

He may not be the most athletic player in the league, but he's clutch. 

19. Ryan Mallett

Ryan Mallett ran an abysmal 5.37 in the 40-yard dash at his pro day.  For most slow quarterbacks, I would say: "There were even a few lineman who were faster than him."  Mallett is so slow, though, that actually most lineman outran him.

It's OK, though.  Mallett still has a chance to make it in the NFL because he's a caucasian street guy.

18. David Ortiz

A man nicknamed "Big Papi" is expected to be huge.  While David Ortiz isn't close to being the heaviest baseball player on this list, he is extremely unathletic.

At 6'4", 230 pounds, Ortiz has stolen only 10 bases in his entire career, and he hasn't stolen one since 2008.  He's played first base and designated hitter because of that lack of athleticism.

17. Jason Kapono

Most players in the NBA can't be Kobe Bryant or Derrick Rose and have the offense run through them.  The vast majority are forced to be role players.

Some role players are rebounding and defensive specialists.  Some are slashers who can shut down someone on the perimeter.  Jason Kapono shoots threes; that's it.

Hey, he's very good at it.  Just don't ask him to keep up with LeBron James. 

16. Prince Fielder

Prince Fielder is listed at 5'11", 275 pounds.  That's a lot of weight for someone under six feet.  He could probably contend for being the widest player on this list.

Despite his size, Fielder has actually hit two inside-the-park home runs.  He's the heaviest player in MLB history to hit one.

15. Casey Hampton

Casey Hampton, aka "Big Snack," weighs in at 325 pounds while standing at 6'1".  

The Pittsburgh Steelers conditioning test at the beginning of each training camp consists of eight 100-yard jogs.  Hampton fails almost every year.

14. Hal Gill

There really aren't any obese hockey players so the term unathletic would have to apply to the slowest skaters.  Hal Gill is definitely in that category.

Gill is one of the biggest players in the NHL at 6'7", 250 pounds.  

I am not a hockey expert by any means, but from what I have seen, Gill is a big man who tries to mess people up, but isn't very good at it.

13. John Daly

He's been called Long John, Wild Thing, and even The Lion, but the one thing John Daly has never been called is athletic.

Daly has actually lost a lot of weight since his beer-gut days, and that's why he's not higher on the list.  He'll always be one of the most popular golfers on tour because of his laid-back personality. 

12. Bengie Molina

Catcher Bengie Molina is one of the slowest players in baseball at 5'11", 225 pounds.

He may not have great straight-line speed, but he has deceptive quickness as shown in the clip.  Frogger became his reality.

11. Zach Randolph

Zach Randolph has really emerged these past two years for the Grizzlies and now has them in position to battle for a chance to play in the Western Conference Finals.  Watching the Grizz this postseason, I don't know how many times I've heard this phrase repeated: "Zach Randolph couldn't jump over a phone book."

Check out his massive vertical on the video.  If he isn't the second coming of Vince Carter, I don't know who could be.

10. C.C. Sabathia

Rob Carr/Getty Images

BALTIMORE, MD - APRIL 23: Pitcher CC Sabathia #52 of the New York Yankees delivers to a Baltimore Orioles batter at Oriole Park at Camden Yards on April 23, 2011 in Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images)

Sorry no video.  A picture of his stomach hanging over his belt will have to do.

C.C. Sabathia stands at 6'7" and weighs 290 pounds.  Seriously, if Sabathia's arm ever gives out, he has the potential to be a franchise left tackle in the NFL.

9. Jim Thome

Jim Thome, like David Ortiz, has been a first baseman and/or designated hitter for his entire career because of his lack of athleticism.  

Thome is another big ball player at 6'3", 250 pounds.  Plus, the fact that he's 40 years old and has never been fast to begin with could factor into him being this high on the list.

8. Mark Calcavecchia

Some may say: "Golfers aren't athletes, they shouldn't be included in such a list."  Sorry, Tiger Woods is too jacked for me not to include golfers.

Honestly, at first I thought "The Big Putt" was Mark Calcavecchia's nickname.  He weighs 240 pounds, and I don't know how much of that is muscle mass.   

7. Andre Smith

Warning: this video contains disturbing images.

Andre Smith is 6'4" and weighs 345 pounds.  As you can see, that is not 345 pounds of muscle.  There was a report out last summer that Smith could've ballooned up to 370.

It may be a little too early to call Smith a bust, but he's running out of time.

6. Zydrunas Ilgauskas

Zydrunas Ilgauskas is as slow as molasses.  Of course, you're not going to find many 7'3", 260 men who are fast.  Him being 35 years old doesn't help either.

On that note, one thing Big Z has done fast, very fast, has aged.  Right now he looks like the oldest player in the league by a long shot.  He hasn't always looked like that, but apparently he's always had the same voice.

5. Jonathan Broxton

Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 18: Pitcher Jonathan Broxton #51 of the Los Angeles Dodgers reacts during a ninth inning rally by the Atlanta Braves on April 18, 2011 at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, California. The Dodgers won 4-2. (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Get

Closer Jonathan Broxton is the second-heaviest baseball player of all-time at 300 pounds.

I was going to show you a video of him running to the mound from the bullpen to show how slow he is, but I didn't want to risk you missing the last four athletes because you fell asleep.

4. Yao Ming

Sports Illustrated had a player poll a while back in which NBA players voted who was the slowest in the league.  Yao Ming was first, or last, receiving 35 percent of the vote.

At 7'6", 310 pounds, it must be a hassle to get from place to place in everyday life, let alone run with some of the best athletes in the world.  

To get blocked by someone 21 inches shorter than you is the definition of unathletic.  Where's Keyshawn Johnson?  "C'mon man!"

3. Kevin Stadler

Kevin Stadler isn't your typical-looking golfer.  

He's the heaviest golfer on tour at 250 pounds.  He only stands at 5'11", too.

2. Terrence Cody

Wonder what that noise is when Terrence Cody is running?  It's the entire building shaking.

Reports of "Mount" Cody's weight have mainly ranged from 350 to 370 pounds, but there were rumors that he was at one time close to 400.  Not surprisingly, he failed the Ravens conditioning test last summer.

1. Terrell Brown

This last one isn't a professional like the rest of the athletes on this list, but he outdoes them all in terms of athleticism, or un-athleticism. 

Ole' Miss' Terrell Brown stands 6'11", 415 pounds.  His height and weight by themselves are extremely unique for any football player, but combined, he is truly one of a kind.

David Daniels is an NFL Featured Columnist at Bleacher Report and a Syndicated Writer. Follow  him and  Bleacher Report Swagger on Twitter.