Arsene Wenger to Leave Arsenal and Take Up Post As France National Team Manager

For all intents and purposes, the French national side are in turmoil. Raymond Domenech is hated by fans, players, and the media alike.

The solution?

Some French guy by the name of Arsene Wenger.

There is no doubting that France have the bones to make up a very good side. They have an adequate mixture of youth and experience to challenge for major trophies, perhaps not win but at least put up a good fight.

However, you can have all the good players that you want but this is useless without someone to take charge of the ship. Unfortunately, Raymond Domenech is rather hopeless.

The current French manager has caused discomfort to a French squad who look like they have little interest in playing for their country. He has made some strange choices and perhaps the strangest of all is that he has stayed on as manager. Perhaps this says more of the French Football Federation (FFF) than Domenech!

According to Villareal's Robert Pires, the man to turn the French ship around and sail it into glory is Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger.

"Arsene Wenger is a gentleman, and his qualities would have a positive effect  on the French national side," Pires insisted.

"I don't want Domenech to stay in the job," he stated. "Nobody knows how he managed to get the team into the 2006 World Cup final. Then the team crashed and burned right from the start of the Euro 2008 finals, yet he is still in charge. The game in Romania looks like a trap, but I expect he will escape from it."

Pires continued, "He is so lucky, I reckon Les Bleus will win on Saturday. France's young players no longer have any respect for their seniors, and the coach is solely to blame. He does things badly. Domenech has done anything but set them the right example with his theatrical antics and comments."

Pires then touted his former manager at Arsenal as the perfect solution stating, "[Wenger] is a class act. Of course, as he is Arsenal's manager he is not free right now—but you never know what could happen. If money is made available by the French FA, then anything is possible. The key is knowing whether he has the desire to leave London. Right now I am very worried about what the future holds for the France side."

What a nice thought that is for the French national side to have a genius like Arsene Wenger at the helm.

A nice objective piece so far don't you agree? What am I talking about? Why am I changing the tone mid-article?

Well, a reason I love Bleacher Report is that one doesn't have to be objective and can go on a rant. So Part A of this article was an objective account of Pires' statement so Part B is my own personal response to Pires.

Dear Mr. Pires,

I am responding to your statement as regards to the French Football Federation buying out Arsene Wenger's current contract at Arsenal FC.

As you are already aware, Arsene Wenger is currently contracted to the club until the year 2011. What you seem to be unaware of is Mr. Wenger's unknown contract which makes him Arsenal FC's immortal leader for eternity (please see Kim Il Sung's leadership status in North Korea).

Therefore, your suggestion of a contract buy-out is fruitless.

In addition, what price dare you put on the genius of Professor Wenger? Dare I say that for not all the euros and cents in the FFF bank will you be able to afford Mr. Wenger. Not for all the tea in China Mr. Pires!

I dare say that the French national side may acquire the services of said genius the day hell freezes over, the day the Democrats and Republicans become one super-party, the day England stop going on and on about winning the World Cup in 1966, the day Tottenham Hotspur win the Premiership, the day the Irish stop feeling unbridled joy at beating the English in any sport.

I think you get the point Mr. Pires.

Yours sincerely,

Every Arsenal Fan