Amare Stoudemire Rap Video: Watch Swizz and Knicks Star Kill Rap in One Video

I didn’t think there was anything more painful to watch than Amar'e playing defense.

Or trying to rebound with consistency.

But the New York Knicks center has outdone himself by appearing in a theme song for the Knick's playoff run.

My suggestion for the title: "Gone in Five Gamez"

I’ll even accept "No Defense for these D’Antoni Boys"

Or how about “Suckfest at MSG?”

Either way, Swizz, the super producer turned hype man for the No. 6 seed, is seen here making a video with Amar'e Stoudemire. The video will ultimately prove that while white guys can’t rap (with apologies to Eminem), tall guys can't rap either (Shaq, I’m looking at you).

There’s Amar'e placing a vice grip on the ball as if he never intends to give it up (familiar), and he doesn’t even have his trademark goggles on.

Come on, Amar'e—that’s got to be your thing!

It’s not a hatred of New York that has propelled me to think that Amar'e is setting rap back 20 years—it’s Amar'e himself.

Just 'cuz you can rhyme, doesn’t mean you can rap.

Just ask Allen Iverson, Ron Artest, Shaq, Debbie Mathers, the Chicago Bears, 2 Live Crew, Master P and me when I’ve had too much to drink at a party and I start every rap verse with “Yo, Yo, Yo.”

If this song stays the Knick's permanent theme, they should just save it for wins—then we wouldn’t have to hear it until Chris Paul gets there.