Football Lookalikes, Volume Three: It's Back!!!

David JacobsCorrespondent IMay 10, 2011

Football Lookalikes, Volume Three: It's Back!!!

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    I haven't got much else to write about at the moment. So I thought I might relaunch the Lookalikes series. It's been a long time since compiling the last one; and in that time, there have been so many additions.
    A lot of lookalike pics have yet to be put on here. So I will try and make this a more regular thing if I can.

    It features more contributions from fellow users of the forum.

    So let's kick off with a bumper pack of 20 laughable lookalikes for your mocking pleasure!!

Mike Ashley: Big Mac Controller

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    Mike Ashley and The Fat Controller from Thomas the Tank Engine.

    Both look moody a lot of the time and when I googled an image of the Fat Controller, the above was one of the only results.

Wake Me Up before Roberto...

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    The hair kind of looks the same. Plus, Roberto Mancini can go off the rails when things aren't going well for him.

    He forgot what sportsmanship meant after the Fulham game which ended as a 1-1 draw
    by quickly exchanging not so much a handshake, but a rather childish hand "flick" with Mark Hughes.

    Ok, so it's not exactly drink, drugs and crashing your car into the wall of a photography shop to the sound of your namesake—WHAM!, but it was certainly a needless overreaction.

Diego Forlan and Someone Obscure to Anyone but Middle-Aged English People

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    Only the British readers will get this one ;)

    Atletico Madrid striker Diego Forlan seems to look like one of the puppets from the English political satire show Spitting Image, specifically the puppet of former Conservative Party MP—Michael Heseltine.

John Tranny

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    One from the Forum (originally posted by KirrieYid).
    John Terry and a random androgynous person. The likeness is amazing! Could be an alter-ego.
    Something kinky for his missus...or someone else's...


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    By user—razzathfc

    It's just the nose really...

John Barnes Junior?

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    Legendary Liverpool and England striker John Barnes might have a long-lost son in the form of Stoke City and Norway striker John Carew.

    Forget Jerry Springer and Jeremy Kyle, David Jacobs is now the one bringing long-lost relatives together after 20 years of separation!

Carew -----------> Mandela in 50 Years?

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    Might be a good insight into what John Carew might look like by the age of 80.

    Nelson Mandela seems to have predicted Carew's future look.

Ashton Kranjcar?

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    Both very attractive men...easy mistake to make.

Jermaine Jenas and Mathew Horne

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    Wide faces are the key component here.

    Plus a bonus fact—They're both associated with Tottenham Hotspur.

    Jermain Jenas—Plays as a midfielder for Spurs.

    Mathew Horne—He's an actor, but he is an avid Spurs supporter.

Big Rafa

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    I spotted this one on

    It's Rafa Benitez and toy collector/toyshop entrepreneur "Big Al" from "Toy Story 2."

Harry Red-Droop

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    From the forum again...

    A bit nasty, but it's still remotely amusing.

    By tdw76

Grabby Neville?

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    Submitted by, Gary Neville has been comically (and riskily) placed beside one of the suspects of a £40m gem heist in London back in 2009. The likeness is brilliant, and footballers are suspiciously rich these days so maybe they regularly rob jewellers to supplement their income!


    The robbers all employed some kind of latex/foam mask or facial detailing from an unsuspecting make-up department. The make-up department in question believed that they were providing facial enhancements for a music video! Smart move I think.

    On a side note—One of the men connected with the robbery was arrested in Ilford, near where I live!

    DISCLAIMER!—That man wasn't me.

Jer-Milkybar Kid

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    Again, another one which in terms of the lookalike would be exclusive to UK viewers.

    Last year, in the UK arm of Nestle (the company who make Milkybars as the jingle suggests) various people gathered to dress up as the famous Milkybar Kid and perform the jingle. Everyone who participated were montaged together (well, I think it was everyone, as some of the singing was terrible!).

    There were quite a few of these adverts shown with different montages of performers. In one of last year's adverts, I spotted someone who looked exactly like Jermain Defoe!

    I think he might have been ''injured'' at the time of filming ;)

Spurillaz I: Giovani Dos Santos and 2D

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    Very strange, but I found four Spurs players resembling all four members of the cartoon band Gorillaz.

    Here's Giovani Dos Santos and 2D.

    Weird hair, glazed expression in the photos.

Spurillaz II: Gareth Bale and Noodle

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    The smile says it all. Plus there's a half-baked pun in there somewhere...

    Gorillaz...Gareth Bale...ape-like features ;)

Spurillaz III: Wilson Palacios and Russel

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    Both of them look rather menacing any day of the week.

    By my reckoning, even their mothers won't take any crap from anyone.

    Just ask Mother Palacios who once ordered Harry Redknapp to feature her son in more matches!

Spurillaz IV: Vedran Corluka and Murdoc

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    I knew there was somebody who Vedran Corluka looked like.

    Now I've found it! It happens to be Murdoc.

    A bit scruffy-looking, dark hair and a bit of stubble. Twins.

The Hair-Bear Pair

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    From user "basskadet."

    It's former Columbian international Carlos Valderrama and one of the Hair-Bear Bunch.

    See if you can guess which one...

The Flaming Fantastic

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    Jose Mourinho and Flaming Lips frontman—Wayne Coyne.

Ginger Snaps

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    By TH.TV user Park Lane Yido—Ginger kid and Paul Scholes (older ginger kid).

    There is a bit of a backstory to the right-hand picture. It was a design for a Christmas card last year from UK-based supermarket chain Tesco which read, "Santa loves all kids. Even ginger ones!"

    Whilst most people (including gingers) would have taken it as tongue-in-cheek humour about viewing ginger-haired people as a separate race, the moany, humourless political-correctness (PC) brigade complained angrily at Tesco for the design and as a result Tesco gave in and subsequently took the card off the shelves.

    It was still funny though; and if I had any ginger friends (who weren't "strawberry-blonde")], I'd have got that card for them and they probably would've took it in good humour.


    Well there we go, 20 more doppelgangers from the world of football.

    I hope you enjoyed them. Leave a comment if you'd like to see more.

    I'm hoping to collect them from all over the web and place them in volumes here for a while :)

    Maybe footballers won't need to look at mirrors anymore!