CM Punk: My Own Personal Straight-Edge Savior

It was June 2009, on the night before Extreme Rules. I was casually flipping through the channels on my newly-bought HDTV, when I saw Friday Night SmackDown on My KDSM. I thought it'd be a nice laugh to see unrealistic violence and dirty "speeches," as I would have referred to them. The main event was a tag-team match: Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy vs. Edge and Chris Jericho. But that wasn't what caught my eye.

About halfway through the show, I saw a match between the late Umaga and CM Punk, the Straight-Edge Superstar. I was immediately drawn to his signature hand-twist warm up to loosen his muscles and tension. When Umaga, one of the ugliest humans I had ever seen, walked out, I thought there was no way CM Punk could win. I suppose my mind didn't realize that all the matches were pre-determined; but how could this (comparatively) scrawny man defeat this monster of a man?

It started out predictably enough. Umaga with a shoulder block. Umaga with a clothesline. Umaga with a tribal chant that was supposed to be a taunt. However, CM Punk came in with a huge superkick. Umaga was laid out. As both rose after the referee's five-count, Umaga missed a clothesline attempt, and turned around to be lifted into a fireman's carry. CM Punk had shown me the most impressive moment of my short WWE-viewing career. I was surprised that no blood came to the face of Umaga after he ate a Go To Sleep. CM Punk was ecstatic after the match, and he became my favorite.

Two days later, CM Punk cashed in whatever was in the freakin' briefcase (I soon learned that it was the Money in the Bank). He captured the World Heavyweight Championship from the Charismatic Enigma, Jeff Hardy. I continued to watch WWE solely for the reason of seeing CM Punk as the champion.

At first, I didn't like CM Punk as a heel. It just didn't seem like the same man who had defeated Umaga that June day. But then I began to embrace the idea as CM Punk, the bad guy. I was tired of everyone cheering for Jeff Hardy; I'd rather be booed and have more freedom. CM Punk shared my ideals of non-drug-use and I sympathized with him.

Now, CM Punk is, without question, the top heel in WWE, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Here's to my own personal Straight-Edge Savior, CM Punk.