Killa Villa

Aston Villa celebrated victory over Spurs at White Hart Lane after two previous draws.

All of the last three meetings between the two sides have been as tense as Fearne Britton’s gastric band (I take this opportunity to thank fellow Bleacher writer Gerry McDonnell for inspiring me to be a bit more funny in my articles)!

I didn’t place a picture of any Spurs playing personnel in particular because, quite frankly, I don’t really want to look at any of them right now after how they’ve played. This "go" I’m having is for all the White Hart pain they’ve caused all Spurs fans everywhere in just four games.

Four games and they end up behind West Brom!? That record will take some beating.

Maybe Spurs can defend THAT title better than the Carling Cup.

Yet again, it takes mere minutes before they crack under "pressure" (surprise, surprise).

Nigel Reo-Cokehead scores the first goal as part of the usual ritual at Spurs;

Score against them and THEN they start playing.

Whatever amount of time it takes for Spurs concede the first goal, that’s a magical mystery time lapse.

Berbatov can’t be blamed for defeats any more, including this one. He’s gone, so I don’t know why they still aren’t playing. Daniel Levy didn’t sign all those cheques

(a.k.a. his life away) totalling around £70million to witness Gomes jumping around like a trapped fish, watch Dos Santos and Modric theatrically fall to the floor every 20 minutes, or see Jonathan Woodgate play leapfrog with opposing defenders.

There really isn’t much to say about this match, other than Spurs being admittedly…well…crap.

The usual second-half-now-getting-our-hopes-up-because-of-a-miracle-goal episode shows again. But not too early this time. Ashley Young had sealed the deal for Villa after a good shot forced an honest mistake from Gomes. He got to the shot, but it slipped out from under his arms and bounced into the left corner of the goal.

By then, you could’ve assumed that some committed, die-hard Spurs fans were exiting the stadium, leaving the team for dead just like Villa were, only Villa leaving them for dead must’ve meant something more.

Spurs continued the pattern of 2-1 losses. Jenas took an impulsive kick at the ball, possibly out of frustration (I wish I could have kicked something out of frustration too; a football? My brother? Gomes? Berbatov? Daniel Levy? Gomes, Berbatov aaaand Levy???). The ball deflected into the goal off of Darren Bent’s tired legs.

For the rest of the second half, Spurs were running around like headless chickens chasing after Gabriel Agbonlahor during Villa’s counter attack (well, there was probably no difference to be honest. Headless chickens may have done slightly better).

That left just enough time for all the "fans" to exit, to make their feelings known to the soon lonely Daniel Levy.

Back to Quadrilaterál Uno, Señor Ramos.