Blake Griffin's All-Star Candidacy: Los Angeles Clippers Star Deserves a Spot
Los Angeles Clippers power forward Blake Griffin deserves to be an All-Star, plain and simple. OK, fine, it's not plain and simple—it never will be for a player whose team is 12 games below .500.
So I'll say it again, a little differently this time. Blake Griffin deserves to be an All-Star, debatable and complicated. Somehow that just doesn't have the same ring.
But enough with my self-indulgent and quite unsuccessful wordplay; let's talk basketball. Rather, let's allow Griffin to speak for himself.
What if the NBA held a special media day during which each All-Star candidate gave a stump speech outlining his worthiness? Vince Carter needs to stop hiding behind his spectacular YouTube videos and face the people! Then reporters could cross-examine every player, posing tough questions and forcing them to respond to criticism. And then we could vote someone off the island.
I mean, and then we could vote for the All-Star team as informed citizens instead of ignorant, prejudiced maniacs. (Listen up China, I know you love Yao Ming, but he's been injured for the last two years.)
Some players have already begun the practice of self-promoting via Internet videos, but David Stern should level the playing field and make this media day an annual event. Here's what Blake Griffin would say.
Griffin walks up to the podium, elegantly dressed in a gray suit replete with vest and pocket square. There is wild applause, from reporters and fans alike, for LA's new media darling. Griffin smiles calmly, gives a conciliatory wave and clears his throat.
"Thank you. Thanks. It means a lot to be here." Slight chuckle. "No, Plaschke, I won't posterize your daughter for her 16th birthday, but I appreciate the offer.
"First, I would like to acknowledge the Clippers' medical and training staff. After breaking my kneecap last preseason, I was scared. I had always relied on my superior athleticism, and I had no idea whether it would return completely. As much as I respect Tim Duncan, I didn't want to become merely a fundamental post player.
"The Clippers did an unbelievable job helping me with rehab, keeping me on course to get healthy and ensuring that I didn't come back to the court too soon. They made sure I recovered my explosiveness, as well as the reckless attacking mentality that enables me to be successful. So I want to say thanks to all the doctors and trainers, because without them I wouldn't have this opportunity today."
Griffin pauses to collect his thoughts, takes a deep breath and then begins again, his baritone voice exuding confidence.
"I know that I'm an underdog, that many of you believe I don't belong in the 2011 NBA All-Star Game, but I urge you to reconsider your preconceptions, approach my candidacy with an open mind and listen carefully to what I have to say. Because I deserve to be an All-Star.
"I'm sure you all know the statistics, but I'll remind you just in case. I'm fourth in the league in rebounding, averaging 12.6 boards per game. Yeah, the rumors are true that during the offseason I work for Donald Sterling's window cleaning service. He only pays me minimum wage, but I like reaching out to the community and I look damn good in overalls."
Audience laughter.
"I'm 14th in scoring at 21.8 points per game, 17th in field goal percentage at 51.8 percent and I've collected 23 straight double-doubles.
"And just look at my PER. It's 15th in the NBA, ahead of most of my competition such as Tim Duncan, Carmelo Anthony, Luis Scola, David Lee, Paul Millsap, Zach Randolph, LaMarcus Aldridge and David West. The only power forwards with a better PER are Dirk Nowitzki and Pau Gasol, and you may not know this, but being European is actually factored into the PER calculation."
More audience laughter.
"Obviously, my stats are beastly. If I were on a playoff-bound team, I would be a surefire All-Star. Unfortunately, the main strike against me is obvious. The Clippers are just 12-24, and it's rare to select All-Stars from cellar dwellers. You guys weigh team success heavily, and rightfully so.
"But my situation is a little different. At the beginning of the season, the Clips were a team in complete turmoil. New coach in Vinny Del Negro, new system to learn, four rookies to incorporate into the fold, including myself. And the guys who were supposed to be our leaders and best players, B-Diddy (Baron Davis) and Tornado Chris (Kaman), have dealt with injuries seriously limiting their court time."
Theoretically addressing Kaman.
"Get healthy soon Chris, we need to showcase you a bit before the trade deadline. Just kidding. But seriously."
Awkward silence.
"I can't deny it. We started off, as Charles Barkley would say, turribly. Man oh man, I hated being 1-13, hearing people talk about us being on pace to win the fewest games ever.
"However, we've really turned it around, going a very respectable 11-11 since then. Recently we've been on a tear, winning seven of our last 10. We're only seven games out of a playoff spot, and I guarantee that we'll make a push.
"I don't usually toot my own horn, instead letting my play do the talking, but I deserve some credit here. Where do you think the Clippers would be without me? You think they would have won even five games? I know my shoulders are broad and sculpted, but carrying a squad is hard work—shout out to Eric Gordon, who also bears some of the weight.
"Moreover, you know my presence will make the All-Star Game that much more entertaining. It's true that I'm going to be in the dunk contest, but don't you want to see more of me? YouTube hits say you do. Know what? I'll make you a promise; if I'm an All-Star, I promise to do a front flip dunk during the game."
Griffin winks and lifts up a hand with crossed fingers. Audience laughter again.
"OK, just a 720."
More audience laughter.
"By the way, I want to apologize to Timofey Mozgov (video here) and everyone else I've embarrassed thus far in my young career. I'm willing to help pay for any therapy sessions."
More audience laughter. Griffin waits until it dies down and resumes with a serious tone.
"I know I'm just a rookie and that Kevin Durant waited three seasons to become an All-Star. I know that I'm no Dirk, Pau, Duncan, Durant or Carmelo.
"But this year Pau and Duncan are legitimately centers, and there is no one more deserving than me for the last couple forward spots. So please—fans, coaches, China—please make me an All-Star. You will not regret it."
Wild applause. Griffin smiles, gives a thumbs up and then walks away from the podium. Should he be an All-Star? You be the judge. His case is quite compelling.
