WWE Kid's Show: How It Would Work for WWE

You’ve probably heard by now that WWE has confirmed the return of Tough Enough, with a new series starting the night after WrestleMania. Unsurprisingly, several internet fans have instantly commented on the similarities and differences between former series of Tough Enough, NXT and what they expect to see from the upcoming series.

This got me thinking about the different shows WWE has put out there over the years to supplement the main Raw, SmackDown and ECW broadcasts, such as NXT, Superstars, Heat, WWE Vintage and many others.

As I often do while watching WWE programming, I found myself again asking how the deities of the WWE Universe, aka the creative writers, arrive at the decision of what the members of said universe want to watch.

The idea of a reality TV show crossed with pro wrestling is an interesting one. The point of these shows is not really to get massively high viewing figures themselves but to increase the audience for the main shows and the product in general by incorporating wrestling into a concept that would appeal to non-wrestling fans.

Some fans would say that WWE has already become a kids’ show. The PG rating has taken away some of the aspects which for many of us made wrestling just that bit edgier and more exciting to watch, for example banning blood and mild swearing (with the notable exception of Mae Young in her entertaining segment with Laycool on a recent episode of Raw).

And while some expected WWE to return to TV-14 when Linda McMahon lost the election, the company is locked into a contract with toy manufacturers Mattel in a five-year deal which requires them to remain PG at least until it expires. Apparently the type of crowd who chanted “Cena Swallows” among other things at One Night Stand 2006 are not expected to buy too many of his action figures.

See where I’m going with this? For those of you with the logic and connective skills of Vince Russo, I’ll spell it out.

A WWE Kids’ show, 30-60 minutes long, airing on Saturday mornings and featuring as many purple t-shirts and outraged cries of “Oh, fudge, baloney and mustard!” as any 5-12 year old could hope for.

Now clearly this would never completely rid our screens from cheesy story lines and characters or turn Orton vs Cena part 62733 into a gore-filled tribute to Mick Foley. For the time being at least, Raw and SmackDown would stay PG and still have the silliness and unrealistic content, but perhaps if there were a proper home for this type of material we would see some of it replaced with a more serious style.

Linda McMahon raised a few eyebrows when she said that WWE was a “cradle to the grave” product, but how many people do you know who are interested in the same programme from aged 6 to 60? It would either need to grow up with you, alienating other potential viewers in a different age group or offer a range of shows for the variety of viewers.

Say this show was made. What and who would be on it?           

It would probably have tonnes of advertising for toys, t-shirts, magazines, hats, sweat bands and whatever other useless stuff WWE decides its audience needs to have. Skits or characters could be tried out in front of a kinder audience before making the step up to the “real” brands.

The story lines would be simple, no hating someone for taking drugs or having an affair, just, I don’t know, the bad guy is annoyed because the good guy accidentally spilled soda over him and their feud. Seriously, kids will watch that; I’ve seen them.

One very useful aspect is that it would be a great place for FCW wrestlers to get a little low pressure TV exposure. Even on NXT there are people watching who will notice and remember ever mistake and hold it against them. Children are not going to chant “you f**ked up” if a rookie botches a move, or blog online about how Wrestler X doesn’t now how to work or Wrestler Y has no charisma and needs to turn heel.

As well as these newcomers waiting to step up to the big time, obviously the big stars would be there too. John Cena could use up some of his weekly bad jokes on the show, where he would be loved instead of booed for it.

Some of the heels wouldn’t be appropriate, such as Edge (when he inevitably turns again), who could be a little more Rated R on SmackDown safe in the knowledge that the kiddies are instead watching some rookie heel steal Cena’s hat and getting an AA for it. Someone like The Miz would be perfect because he can adapt his style to suit the audience he’s in front of.

Eventually, as the child gets older and either grows out of the show or their parents allow them to watch Raw and SmackDown, WWE gains a viewer who is already familiar with the main stars, titles and how it works.

If, say, John Morrison were treated as a massive star on the kid’s show, when that person starts watching Raw they will instantly assume that JoMo is a big player there too, so Morrison gains support as a main eventer.  There will be wrestlers on the main brands who made their TV debut on the show so the child/tweenager will already know them too.

Of course it will not fix all the problems on Raw and SmackDown, there will still be no blood at least until the five years is up, no shouting Suck It, no Dolph and Vickie Live Sex Celebration *shudder*, but it would have advantages. Exposing the product to audiences by slowly weaning them onto wrestling via a mild transition show whilst also giving the main brands just a little more leeway to be a bit more realistic can only be a good thing, in my opinion.

Raw would still have ridiculousness of course, but I think most people don’t want to completely get rid of the comedy of people like Santino Marella or Chavo Guerrero or Horns…actually he can just leave. We do want some of these light entertainment characters, but we could do with cutting the cheesiness out of the main event.

What do you think? Would this be a success? Would it slightly improve the quality of Raw and SmackDown? What do you think should be put on the show? Please give me your opinions.