SEC Predictions for Week 8: Larry's Losers in the SEC

Larry Burton (Syndicated Writer) This series of articles is in tribute to Leonard Postosties and the good country humor he portrayed in his prognostications. All humor is tongue in cheek.

Well folks, can you believe we’re already at the three quarter mark of the regular season? It’s like enjoying a fine dessert, until you notice there’s just a few bites left and you’re just not ready for it all to over so soon!

That’s how it is with old Bacardi and I about this season. We smelled the upset bug in the air and correctly calculated the conclusion that the Meyer mess in Florida would continue for another week, but just didn’t see the Old Ball Coach blowing a chance to tie the game up with a makeable field goal and rest his chances on erratic arm of Stephen Garcia instead.

This week’s five wins and one loss brings the yearly record up to a 47-9 record and get us back a B rating for the year so far.

Bacardi was all ready to wear the “Bag of Shame” this week if his fellow pooches didn’t pull off that upset of the gators he was so sure about, and even though we had a loss that nobody saw coming outside of Lexington, we feel pretty good about ourselves again.

So let’s dive right in and divulge our descriptions on the direction of this week’s drama.

Alabama at Tennessee

Nick Saban herds a limping herd of pachyderms up the freeway to Knoxville this weekend for a heyday with the hillbillies from Tennessee.

The Dereck Dooley doldrums have disastrously determined a detrimental discourse on this season’s record, and they would love nothing better than to knock off an old rival and revel in at least one big win this year.

But Alabama has some tough old hides and those mini balls from the mountain men muskets shouldn’t muscle their way into any vital parts and at the end of these party, pachyderms prancingly parade out of Neyland Stadium positively proud.

Larry’s loser – Tennessee

Ole Miss at Arkansas

Houston Nutt brings the swine up North to his old stomping grounds in Fayetteville and hopes to catch the hogs still nursing their wounds from the scratchin’ that Auburn game them.

But Bobby Petrino’s boys aim to show that they’re still a proud pig that can put a whuppin’ on you. With Ryan Mallett expected to return to run the curly tails, they figure they can handle these run down Rebels with little effort.

And Bacardi thinks they’re right, with or without Mallett, so go with a dog with a hot paw here.

Larry’s loser  - Old Miss

LSU at Auburn 

Two top ten teams tussle for top billing on the SEC West stage this weekend when Les Miles, the luckiest man in football brings his bayou boys, his six rabbit’s feet, his four leaf clover and his voodoo dolls with him to Auburn this weekend.

On the trip over, he’s planning on reading “Coaching for Dummies” and aims to have all the answers this weekend when he needs to make a timely decision.

But Gene Chizik’s kitties poured over a half a hundred on a decent Arkansas team last week and aims to avalanche the Bengals with that offense before they even know what’s hit ‘em.

Can Auburn’s onslaught continue over a John Chavis defense? That’s the question, but Bacardi says yes and he didn’t even hesitate.

Larry’s loser – LSU

UAB at Mississippi State

UAB coach Neil Calloway knows all to well that draggin’ his Dragons down to Starkville might not be a good idea while they’re on such a hot streak, but he figures on trying to light things up anyway with his UAB Blazers.

Mullin’s mutts have all grown up now after gutting the Gators in front of Gator Nation; they figure they’ll have little liability in letting the dragons loose in the dog pen.

Forget the fact that these Blazers played Tennessee a close game—Tennessee is horrible and UAB is worse.

Bacardi says these dogs are now for real and ready for rumblin’ and I believe that too.

Larry’s loser – UAB

Georgia at Kentucky

Doctor Jeckle plays Mr. Hyde this weekend, as two teams who can’t figure out if they’re good or bad play one another in Lexington.

Joker Phillip’s Kentucky Kitties lost to a miserably bad Ole Miss team then almost beat a top ten Auburn team and did beat a top 10 South Carolina team, so will the real Wildcats please stand up?

Likewise, Georgia started out as the worst team in the SEC and now have gone on a tear.

After losing four in a row, they then go out and beat both Tennessee SEC brothers by a combined score of 84-14. Will the real Bulldogs please stand up?

In the end, only one can have their fairy tale continue and Bacardi says a bulldog looks less like a fairy than a wildcat, so we’ll go that way in this tale of two troubled teams.

Larry’s loser – Kentucky

South Carolina at Vanderbilt

The Old Ball Coach may still represent the best of the SEC East, but with a loss to Kentucky last Saturday, that ain’t sayin’ a whole lot.

In the SEC right now, East is the least and West is the best.

So the best of the East plays the least of the East and the outcome is known before the kickoff. Expect this game to be over early.

Larry’s loser – Vanderbilt

So, it’s time for us to end this week’s tongue waggin’ and hope that you’ll be here next week for more prognosticating perfection.

I wish you could have seen Bacardi trying to pat himself on the back with those stubby logs this weekend for picking the Bulldog upset over the Gators.

'Til next week, buy the kids some candy, don’t eat it all before Halloween and may the next few weeks bring you few goblins.

Where’s my house shoes boy? Have you forgotten the routine?

Larry Burton (Syndicated Writer)